Care-home fees for respite care, advice please?

Savvy_Sue

Just a suggestion, but would getting live-in temporary carer(s) work better than regular visits? Then get Mum away herself.

4paws

Good morning FairyElephant

My thoughts and sympathies are with you. Sadly I know what you are going through at the moment, for both my parents are totally like your dad.

When my father went into hospital in February - April for cancer, we did manage to arrange an emergency order on mum. she went into respite-care in a residential home for this period. The cost was £457.00 per week, plus any small extras IE: hairdressing etc.

This last week things have come to a head, Their Social Worker, plus two Community Matrons. Have now called in the Mental Health Team.
They visited on Wednesday, and have deemed them both unsafe and need to be moved into secure placement. Like your dad my parents believe things are fine and there is no problem. Both refuse to leave the house now.

Yesterday things took a turn for the worse, they are now being moved by the Mental Health Team, ASAP, under the "In The Best Interest" act, with in the next couple of days. If they still refuse to leave home then the Team will use the "Guardianship Act"

The Community Matrons, from their local health centre have been really wonderful and very supportive through out these difficult times.

Sadly it is a long hard fight, I hope both you and your mum find peace soon

4paws

jammy26

Ask your parents social worker about eligibility for direct payments these if granted could be used to provide a live in carer while your mum took a break. Also ask if the social worker has established if your father has capacity under The Mental Capacity Act 2005. If he does then there is nothing social services can do other than try and encourage him to take respite.

FairyElephant_2

Thought I would let you know that Dad is most likely going to be sectioned tomorrow. Last week he got aggressive and went to hit Mum, and although she avoided the blow I made sure she called the psychiatrist and let him know what had happened.
The psychiatrist came on Friday with a psychiatic nurse (dad couldn't remember what had happened of course), and he has signed off on it, and tomorrow the psychiatric nurse and another doctor are coming in the morning - if Dad still refuses to go into hospital, then they will section him and take him in. They have a bed for him in a (relatively) local mental health unit, in a ward specialising in Alzheimers/Dementia patients, for at least 2 weeks, while they review him and see what is best to be done.

Mum is obviously very upset, but she is relieved and I think feels a little guilty that she feels that way, so I have to convince her that it is the right thing and the best for both of them.

I'm also upset, obviously, and I'm also pregnant and about to be made redundant...so life not running too smoothly at the moment!

Thanks all or your previous help & advice.

FE

Gavin83

Sorry to hear of the situation and the developments in what appears to be a difficult time. If he is sectioned then it will change everything in regards to respite but I will answer based on him not being sectioned.

If he doesn't have capacity to deal with his own affairs (which it doesn't appear he does) then he won't be the decision maker in his care needs and it will be up to your mum and yourself if he enters care, either on a full time or respite basis. He does of course require the placement which will be seperately assessed by social services. If however it is decided he does have mental capacity then he is responsible for his own care and can make the decison to stay at home if he wishes to do so. In the extreme example of your mum leaving him then he will live alone in the house with as much support as he wishes to receive.

Financially it depends on their circumstances. If he owns more than £23,000 in capital in his own right, excluding property and assets then he'll be required to pay the full cost. This varies from council to council and home to home but expect the rate to be around £450 per week. Joint savings will be split 50/50. If he has less than this then it is down to the individual councils to charge by their own guidelines, some may not charge at all. The rules governing respite are not as strict as those for long term care.

Good luck with your dad.

FairyElephant_2

Thanks Gavin.

Sadly he had to be sectioned.

I say sadly, but actually I think it is for the best, as although mum is very upset (naturally she saw it as her being unable to cope) I think it is for the best for both of them and am working to convince her.
They have managed to get him to bath and cut his hair and shaved him, which makes him at least look like his old self! which made her feel a lot better when she saw him, and she is sleeping a lot better (without having him wandering about the house in the night!).

He is still very confused and insists on wanting to go home, but we cope with that (by agreement with the nurses in the unit) by telling him that he will not be 'allowed' to leave until he starts to eat again and gains some weight so that he is strong enough and won't keep falling - a partial truth, but one he will sort-of accept, as he definitely doesn't accept that there is anything else wrong with him other than being old! He's still hiding food and telling the nurses (and us) he's eaten when he hasn't, but as I keep telling mum, they are used to dealing with these situations and know how to cope and manage people like him!

weanie

Good luck - your Mum an Dad are both fortunate to have so much caring support from yourself

choille

Hi Fairyelephant,

It sounds like things are moving along. It often takes a crisis to get things changed as you have found.
Things could not continue the way things were.
It's upsetting, but better this way.

They'll be able to access him properly & he will get 'used' to being away from home. It will give your Mum a well needed break.

It is a hrad situation - a terrible disease that is so difficult to deal with & he is in the right place with professionals who are so knowledgable.

All the best.