Not the right place, but advice needed....

rugbymum

Thanks all so far!
Quite frankly I have no idea why my parents didn't divorce years ago!
They are both driving me up the wall at the moment, but things took a slightly more sinister turn last night with the whole police/fraud thing.
I told mum she needs to try to find out which CRA dad allegedly spoke to so that she can make a complaint.
Having said all that, dad is one of these people who reads a story and thinks he knows everything about everything, particularly when it comes to money!
He doesn't know that he is up against Martin's MSE posse!
RAS thanks particularly- I figured I was right but wanted to double check, and yes Dad is a bit of a plonker!:rotfl:
Trouble is, since her second stroke she is easily confused and feels vulnerable. Seperation/divorce would be a big deal.

RAS

Maybe she should get a half hour with a solicitor (go with her if she will let you), and get a clear idea of what she would get if they divorced (like half the house even if it is in his name only). That might make her more confident.

Francesanne

Your Mum obviously doesn't need all this extra stress your Dad is putting her under. Don't think it's ever too late to get divorced. Also feel for you, you're stuck in the middle. Good luck.

GeorgeUK

Just a thought, and i may be totally wrong, but could he have received a few calls from a DCA saying that money was owed and making the usual 'you could lose the house' type threats?

For peace of mind, i would suggest you mother get a copy of her credit report (possibly a free online one if dad is still sniffing through all her stuff). This way she can see what is on her file and if there is something there that shouldn't be there she can deal with it. It's not unknown for DCA's to associate the wrong person with a debt and have all types of nasties put on their credit file.

Either way, your mother will know exactly where she stands and if there is nothing there can tell him to go forth... again.

If it is just her current loan that she has and he has found out by sniffing around, he may be concerned about how secure they are. If he doesn't believe that everything is running smoothly, then that's something he's going to have to deal with.

heatherks

Eupho wrote: »

Yeah.. I cant see how either.. that they would have spoken to him on the phone about it. (it not being HIS credit/account)

Maybe he applied for it online? .. and pretended to be her?

i was going to say that as well maybe opened account online ...as he'd know all her private details ...

SueP19

rugbymum wrote: »

Since my father "retired" (Dad works part-time) he has been putting more & more pressure on mum to reveal her income and expenditure details. Mum will not comply.
Lately Mum has noticed that Dad has been looking through her paperwork.

Just a thought ???? Could it be that your Dad is in financial trouble. You say your Mum has had a stroke and easily gets confused and is very vulnerable..............................................maybe your Dad thinks that if he accuses her and convinces her it her fault, when the letters do come she will take the blame. Its very strange that after all these years he wants to know her income and expenses.

Gee that sounds really bad but people do things in desperation, and your Mum taking the blame would get him out of a hole.......ego wise

rugbymum

SueP19 wrote: »

Just a thought ???? Could it be that your Dad is in financial trouble. You say your Mum has had a stroke and easily gets confused and is very vulnerable..............................................maybe your Dad thinks that if he accuses her and convinces her it her fault, when the letters do come she will take the blame. Its very strange that after all these years he wants to know her income and expenses.

Gee that sounds really bad but people do things in desperation, and your Mum taking the blame would get him out of a hole.......ego wise

Logical thought Sue, but trust me when I say that my Dad isn't in financial trouble!:rolleyes:
While he was away at sea he knew exatly how much money my mum had, cos he was sending it to her. When she retrained and went to work it was a huge deal for her cos she was finally totally financialy independant. I think thats where all the problems started.
Dad literally can't use a computer. I have to do it for him!
My brother still has his CC bills & stuff sent to my parents address (he is in the army), and he is in debt up to his eyeballs! I'm wondering if there's been a !!!!-up relating to that!

SueP19

Ahhhhhh that certainly could explain things

Hope you and your Mum are ok XX