MSE Pregnancy Club Birth Stories

tinkerbelluk

All - Thank you so much for posting all of your experiences so far. I think it's good to know what can happen both good and bad so when the time does finally come you can have at least some small idea as to what to expect.

Also I think it helps for people to talk about what's gone wrong so that it helps them by talking about it and it prepares pregnant woman like myself to understand that everyone has a different experience and if in doubt NEVER be afraid to question what you're being told.

I think you're all incredibly brave for going through it and sharing your experiences and hope I will be the same in 6 odd weeks time

rach29

Hope no one minds me posting my birth stories (all 3 of them) as they are spread out over the last 16 years. I thought it might be interesting for you all to read how differently 3 labour's can be for one person.

I'll number and post them seperately

1) May 1993

I finished work Friday April 30th and was looking forward to a few weeks preparing for my Bub's arrival due 6th June. I'd been to one ante-natal class (about contraception after birth :rotfl:) and was eagerly anticipating the others.

Bank Holiday Monday 3rd May 9pm. I bobbed down in the kitchen to empty the washing machine and suddenly I felt a trickle. Thought I'd wet myself as bub's had been pressing on my bladder for a while so went off to the loo & tidied myself up & thought no more about it. A while later I stood up to go & make a cuppa & sure enough trickle, trickle.

Still I didn't really catch on what was going on so off I went, tidied myself up again & then put a pad on (just in case) and went off to consult my baby book. There I read that if your waters are going they will trickle when standing and stop when sitting. Cue lots of sitting & standing before the penny finally dropped!

I called the hospital and they told me to come in & get checked so I called My Mum for a lift (we didn't have a car in those days) and arrived at Maternity unit about midnight and after an internal & some umming & ahhing by the midwives they decided my waters had definitely gone & I was admitted. Mum & OH were sent home & I went off to bed.

Next morning the doctor came round, I wasn't having any contractions so they decided to try to induce me with the pessaries. Not nice & I said afterwards that the MW was trying to push it out through the top of my head :eek:

Pessaries had no effect at all so another inserted in the evening which set off a little low cramping but nothing else. Next morning (Wednesday) My Mum dropped in on her way to work at about 8.30 with a few bits & pieces & said she'd pop in at lunchtime to see what the doctor wanted to do next. I called my OH & told him to go into work since nothing was happening & the doctor wouldn't be round till at least 10am. Thankfully he chose to ignore me.

At about 9am the MW came in and said we were going up to the delivery room (I had no idea why - naieve or what??)

Once there the MW sat me on the bed & said I was going to be induced, a really sweet young trainee held my hand & told me she'd had this done to her & that it might come as a bit of a shock. She wasn't kidding, the drip was put in my hand & very quickly I was having strong contractions. I'd had no ante-natal classes & knew nothing about breathing excercises or anything so I had no choice but to go with the flow.

I did know, however that 1st labour's often take a while so I wasn't worried when they said my OH had been called & was on his way, I knew it would only take hi about 1/2 hour to get there. As the contractions got longer & more painful I started to have some gas & air (which was fantastic) but after a while I started to panic a bit & think I couldn't cope. I know now that this was the transition stage & that mine was very fast. I heard the MW say "if her OH doesn't hurry up he's going to miss it" I got very scared & asked for more pain relief & was given some Pethidine (If I'd realised how close the birth was I wouldn't have bothered)

At this point my OH arrived to hold my hand, but if I'm honest I hardly knew he was there! The MW asked if I wanted to push & I said "no not really" I was flat on my back & away with the fairies But they insisted I sat up & pushed. Because I had had no ante-natal classes I had no idea of how to push & managed a nasty tear at the front of my foof as I was doing it wrong apparently

2-3 pushes & my daughter (who was confidently predicted to be "at least 6lbs") was born weighing 4lb's 8oz at 11.59am. After she was cleaned up she was handed to me & we had a cuddle, but at that point the shock kicked in & I started to shake uncontrollably & felt faint so the MW put her in her little bassinette & fetched me tea & toast.

As I was drinking my tea, my Mum arrived "what are you doing in here?" she says, so I pointed to the bassinette in the corner. Her face was a picture!

A while later the doc came to sew up my tear, and although my dd was very small she was perfectly healthy soo we went straight to the ward & were let home 2 days later.

My advice to any preggy ladies out there is do the classes early, don't wait until the last month, you may not get that far!

Edited to add, 1st labour's aren't always long, I went from no pain to birth in under 3 hours!

Wow, that was long... I'll post number 2 later, it's a bit shorter

Jo.G

I love a good birth story!
DS1 November 1999
Like other posters, I had no experience of babies or childbirth being the first of my siblings and friends to have children.
My pregnancy was also unplanned and I was sharing a house with two friends at the time although my OH moved in too just before the birth.
I remember waking up on the 18th (due date) at about 2am needing a pee and when I went to the loo I had a bit of a show, (I remember looking down and saying ‘oh S**t!’ out loud to myself!).
I went back to bed but couldn’t get back to sleep so just sat there rocking. I must have disturbed OH but he didn’t seem too concerned as he just muttered something about waking him up if he was needed!
I must have dozed a bit but then I started throwing up – I think this is what woke my housemates up. By 6am the whole house was awake. I was sat in the bath whilst they all had bacon butties, the smell of which was wafting upstairs and making me want to throw up even more!
At 7am I was out of the bath and dressed. I found that walking round helped a lot, except my OH and two friends were following me round! My contractions were all over the place – every 5 minutes then 10 minutes then 2 minutes than 1 minute. I naively expected them to start off quite spaced apart and then gradually decrease, you know every 10 minutes, then 8, then 6 then 4 then 2!

I rang my mum for a bit of advice and she said if I thought I was in labour to ring the hospital, which I did. When I got there I was (again very naïve!) pleased to find out I was a whole 3cms dilated and could stay. I had told OH that if I wasn’t in labour there was no way I was staying at the hospital. They even put me in a delivery suite. I continued throwing up but coped quite well (in my eyes) with gas and air which my OH would wheel around behind me as I again walked round in circles. I remember him not being quick enough as I walked in circles and the tube came away from the canister – a man should never come between a labouring lady and her G&A! All my pain was in my lower back so the midwives suggested a TENS machine might help. I was open to any offers of pain relief and was hooked up. Eventually the pain got worse (no idea of times from this point on) and so I asked for something else and was given pethadine. I was still walking round at this point so was told I’d have to get on the bed whilst I had the injection but after about half an hour would be able to move again. Ha – once that pethadine took effect I was stuck to that bed! It made me very woozy, sleepy – just like you are when you are p***ed. I went to sleep, only woke when I had a contraction. Poor OH went to the Spar across the road and bought every single paper and food to keep him going.
Things get a bit hazy from this point on. Apparently I asked for and got another shot of pethadine. I remember waking up and really needing the loo. I was trying to work out how I would get from my room to the toilet down the corridor. I said to OH ‘I need the loo’ so he buzzed for the midwife. When I told her I needed to go she said ‘No you don’t, it will be the baby, I’ll examine you.’ I glared at her with a ‘you don’t know what you are talking about’ kind of look and said ‘No I need the loo’. Of course she was right, I remember OH asking if this was it and she said ‘Yes, all systems go’.
I’d gone through a shift change and my midwife had a student with her in her final year so she let her take charge. I remember looking at the clock and it was 2.50pm and (again very naively!) thought it would all be over in 10 minutes! I had one leg on OH shoulder (he got stuck down the business end) and one on the midwives. I got told off for making noises from my throat (cue another ‘you don’t know what your talking about’ glare from me) and to concentrate on pushing rather than grunting! I still had the TENS machine on but one of the pads had come unstuck and I would get a little electric kind of shock off it if I touched it and I was biting down on the G&A tube. I wouldn’t let anyone take anything off me because I wasn’t actually in pain so knew something was working (probably the pethadine) but didn’t know which one!
Jack was born at 3.25pm no problems except being cut.

I still felt like I was off my head; don’t remember the stitches hurting although I was obsessed with asking how many I had and promptly forgetting what they’d said.
At one point I was left all alone with my baby and was that scared I’d drop him I didn’t move even though I was sat on the bed.
I felt yucky so decided I’d go for a shower. Luckily they said the student midwife had to go with me because one minute I was stepping into the shower, the next I was on the floor with the student and another midwife picking me up.
Because I’d fainted I couldn’t go to the ward until I’d seen the doctor and blood tests had been done. By the time they moved me, visiting had started. I remember sitting there watching my mum, dad, brother, sister and my in laws all cooing over this baby and wondering what the hell was going on. I felt like I was watching someone else and didn’t know why I was there.
I know I didn’t bond with him for the first few days and thought there was something wrong. Not everyone automatically feels an overwhelming love straight away; they don’t tell you that in ante natal classes and I think they should.
I fainted again that night when I went to the loo. Although I wasn’t anaemic I was given iron tablets but still felt very weak for days.
I breast fed but got sore nipples which cracked and bled. One night Jack was sick and there was blood in it. Panicking, I ran down to the midwives station (because I’d been told off for buzzing them the night before!) to be told it was only blood from me and if it carried on to give a bottle. I hated it in hospital and felt the midwives weren’t very supportive. When I arrived in the ward I wasn’t told where things were, or about the chart we had to fill to record feeds / wees / poos. Thank God for the other women in my bay.
We were discharged on the Sunday.

I learnt that I never wanted to have pethadine again because it made me feel so out of control. I wish I’d stayed at home much longer before going in. Although I was 25, I was quite naïve – I didn’t even think to change his nappy until the next day when the midwife was giving him his first bath. Although that meant she had to clean the black tar off his little botty!
But I can honestly say that my labour didn’t hurt and I slept through most of it, I think for a first time, born on his due date, I was very lucky. On my notes I think my labour is down as 13 hours. And having my little boy changed my life forever and I love him to bits.

Now DS2, completely different!

rach29

OK, here comes no 2

2) April 1998

Due date 29th April.

27th, it's my 30th Birthday. Because I was early with no1 I was expecting to be early again but no such luck. So by now I feel overdue even though I' not.

My Mum & Dad were over from France (where they retired to) and we had a nice birthday breakfast. OH had gone to work & we decided to pop to Lakeside for some shopping. Mainly to get some freezer supplies from Tesco for after Bub's arrived.

Walking round Tesco I was uncomfortable with wind/constipation (sorry TMI) which had been going on for days and which nothing seemed to help. We finished shopping & came home to unpack the shopping & have some lunch.

After lunch my friend dropped in to see how I was and bring me a card & pressie. I told her I would be fine if only I could ease the wind.
We were chatting for a while when she suddenly said "you do realise that your 'wind' is about 3 minutes apart don't you?" :eek::eek::eek:

In my defence I had only ever had an induced labour before & no real early labour so I had no clue that I was having contractions. I called the hospital & the MW asked me if I was in pain, I said I wasn't so she said come in when it starts to hurt

I went for a shower & blow dried my hair by which time my Mum was panicking I wouldn't make it to hospital in time so we got in the car to go to the hospital about 10 mins away. It was just coming up to 3.30 (school chucking out time) and was chucking it down with rain so the traffic was horrendous! Sods law dictated that my contractions now became strong & long so I was breathing heavily by the time we arrived at the hospital at about 4 o/c

I was taken straight to delivery and asked to do a wee sample, but I just couldn't do even a dribble! The student MW asked me to get on the bed & started to sort out the gas & air, suddenly she rushed to the door & yelled down the corridoor "she's pushing" A MW arrived closely followed by my OH (who'd dashed back from work) much to the relief of my Mum who had no intention of seeing me give birth:o

I got hold of the Gas & air at last & started pushing in earnest but didn't seem to be getting anywhere, It turned out bub's had an arm over his head which was making life difficult and baby was starting to get distressed. After hearing that and after almost an hour of pushing I gave an almighty heave & my son 7lbs 14oz was born & handed to me at around 5.20pm

I didn't realise until the next morning that in my frantic pushing I had burst the blood vessels in my eyes & cheeks & had a bruised face & bloodshot eyes for some days afterwards. I looked like I'd gone 5 rounds with Mike Tyson.

skintchick

Just a bump (how appropriate!) to see if anyone else has any stories to share.

3onitsway

skintchick wrote: »

Just a bump (how appropriate!) to see if anyone else has any stories to share.

Hopefully Sami will have her very own one to post soon
(Happy due date Sami!)

Jo.G

DS 2 November 2003 (yes I know two in the same month, lack of planning!)
DS 2 was due on 6th November. As with DS 1 I finished work the Friday before, planning to have a nice weekend then my baby would come a few days early and all would be fine and dandy!
I had an appointment at the hospital on the Wednesday, the day before my DD. After sitting around for hours I actually saw the consultant I was under, who then told me that my appointment should have been made after my DD so she could do the normal stuff but couldn’t give me a sweep! I had the choice to go back to the hospital the following week or to see my own midwife at my GP’s and she would book me in to be induced if I was still hanging around.
I didn’t want to go back to the hospital and been seen hours late when I knew my midwives run more or less on time. But it was DS1 4th birthday on the 18th and I told her I wanted the baby out by then. She said no problem, and booked me in for an induction on 14th November, which was still far too close to DS1 birthday for my liking but I was quietly confident I would go into labour sooner than that anyway. After all, aren’t second babies more likely to come early?!
Anyway, the 6th came and went. I woke up depressed every day I went over and if I hadn’t had DS1 to get to nursery I probably wouldn’t have got out of bed!

Of course I was still pregnant on the 14th and wishing I’d gone back to hospital to have the sweep as that may have kicked things off.
We dropped DS1 off at my mums, I cried my eyes out because I knew when I came home I’d have another baby and he would be all grown up in comparison. I wanted my baby out but not to be induced.

Anyway we got to the hospital at 6.30pm and had to wait whilst they found me a bed. I ended up with my own little room, but only because there was nowhere else for me! They let OH stay for a few hours, put me on a monitor, then gave me a pessary that looked very much like a piece of chewing gum! I had a lovely midwife who had come up from the delivery suite because it was quite down there but busy on the ward. When she examined me I was already 2cm dilated. OH had to go at about 9.30pm as visiting had finished at 8pm and he’d outstayed his welcome. He was told they’d ring him in the morning when I’d probably be given another pessary.

I managed to fall asleep but woke up at about 11.30pm with that urge to go to the loo. I then waddled down to the nurses station as I was also having a few niggles, where I was given two paracetamol and told to have a bath as this would either settle things down or kick things off.

The midwife said she would check on me in 10 minutes, but I was left for a while in that bath, clutching the sides as each contraction came and went. Eventually another midwife came in to check me and after a feel of the top of my bump told me I’d better get out so I could be examined properly. The bath was at the opposite end of the corridor to my room, it felt like miles!

On examination by the midwife who’d given me the paracetamol (I really didn’t like her) I was found to be 7cms dilated and it was time to go to the delivery suite. I was told to get my things together whilst she rang OH.
By this point I literally couldn’t walk from one side of the bed to the other without stopping to deal with a contraction. The midwife was very unhappy when she got back because I wasn’t ready to go and she had to help get my things together.

A lovely midwife was waiting for me when we arrived in delivery, and the first question out of my mouth was ‘Can I have an epidural please?’
They both kind of looked at each other, then me and said ‘No it’s too late!’ Because of my horrible experience with pethadine with DS1 my birth plan was quite short: - ‘I do NOT want pethadine, I will have an epidural.’
As the first midwife left to return to the ward she said ‘if you’re quick and have that baby tonight I’ll let you have the private room back – it will save me changing the sheets!!!!!’

I was given gas and air and sat on a rocking chair. OH arrived at this point, first question out of his mouth ‘Have you had the epidural yet?’ Cue lots of glaring.

I then had to get on the bed so the midwife could check how I was doing. 10cms dilated, time to push. She told me I could still use the G&A but I may find it didn’t do anything. She was right.

OH stayed up the top end this time. I remember thinking ‘once the head is out the hard bit is over’ and really concentrating on my breathing. I also remember saying ‘I can’t do this’ several times. But I could and I did.

Elliot was born at 02.23am 15th November, my brother’s birthday. He weighed in at 7lb 13oz. OH cut the cord.
I wasn’t cut like the first time but I did tear where I had been cut. The G&A helped with the stitches.
I was terrified of fainting again so stayed where I was for a few hours before having a shower. I didn’t sleep, too excited.

The midwife said if I wanted to go home that morning I could stay on the delivery suite. So I didn’t need that private room and the horrible midwife would have to change the sheets after all!

I now know that labour does hurt, but it’s bearable and I can do it. DS2 delivery was a hundred times better than DS1 and I’d pick that one every time. I never once felt out of control and DS2 was more alert after delivery.

We were home 12 hours after he was born, and that’s only because the paediatrician did the ward round before the delivery suite.

I also think I’m dead hard now cos I only had G&A!!!
But boy, the after pains …….!

sooz

2003 - first baby, & total naivety. Called the hospital far too early, & insisted on an epidural. It didn't work, so despite the midwife topping it up regularly I still felt everything. They were so busy, she was delivering 3 babies at once (mine included) so I was told to push & left to it. I was then told I had to keep pushing & get baby out within half an hour, or they'd help me. I'd so far refused all their offers of 'help' rather rudely . I pushed as hard as I could, & my baby was delivered within their timescale (I think it was the end of her shift). In total I was there for 8 hours. I had a second degree tear which they were concerned was third. I insisited on drugs that worked for the stitches, & wouldn't let the anethatist leave the room until I could not feel anything. Felt awful both physically & mentally for months after, but thought this was normal.

2006 - decided as I'd done it once with no working pain relief, I could manage it again. Listened to a natal hypnotherapy cd many many times, & decided I could do it after all. Went to the birth centre, very nervous. Insisted on staying at home as long as possible, ironing. OH thought I was mad, & finally forced me into the car, calling birth centre on route & asking them to fill the pool. Arrived 9cm dilated, got into pool, & delivered my beautiful baby with 45 mins later. Midwife sat in the corner of the room with a mirror on a stick. Almost delivered in his caul, just punctured at the last minute so he didn't sink! He floated up & I caught him. No stitches & I felt fantastic.

2009 - here we go again! Birth centre & pool please, hypnotherapy on ipod throughout the pregnancy. Was certain I was not in labour, went for a 2 hour walk in the snow, built a snow man, then out for dinner, eventually OH had enough & dragged me into the car. I was so laid back I got out & helped him park. Prudishly removed clothes & changed into nightie in private bathroom to be examined - 4cm - & then when I decided to jump into the pool I stripped off . Decided to try the gas & air this time...cue darth vader jokes from OH who should know better. 40 mins this time, but crowning took longer as I really didn't want to tear, so I puffed my way through an excruciating 5 mins. Then up floated my baby. No stitches, & I felt so good I did the school run the following day with my new baby.

My only regret is that I didn't go to the birth centre the first time round. It was so much easier being upright in water, than strapped to a bed whilst they fiddled with an epidural that wasn't working & a monitor for the baby. The midwives in the birth centre were lovely, the atmosphere so calm & relaxed, I forgot I was in a hospital (only one floor down from my first birth).

ladybirdintheuk

I've cut and pasted this from when I originally posted it on 19th Jan, with some very slight alternations:

""So, she was due on 5th January. The midwife did a couple of sweeps. The first one didn't work. The second one, on Friday the 9th, did a bit, but wasn't enough to get things moving properly. I spent the weekend getting little contractions on and off, but they didn't come to anything. She came again Monday morning (the 12th) and I wasn't sure if that had helped any more than the first one did - I was still getting the little occasional contractions, but nothing worse than reasonably bad period pains. Tuesday morning I decided to run up and down the stairs (well.. waddled anyway - running was beyond me!) before Patrick came to visit me. We spent the afternoon playing Worms (he won every time) before I had to go fetch Richard from work.

By the time we got back from his work the contractions were starting to get a bit worse, and I had to wait for one to finish before I got out of the car to come insude - it was a good thing we didn't get stuck in a traffic jam on the way home really! Withing half an hour we had decided that this probably was the real thing, so Richard stuck the tens machine to me. I found it helped the pain, and I'm sure that giving me something to fiddle with worked as a distraction technique as well. I managed to have some tea between contractions (Richard's mum laughed at me when we told her that - nothing stops me eating!) and by about 8 I was being driven to the hospital by my parents.

I was only 3cm dilated at that point, so they wouldn't let me get into the birthing pool, but they ran me a bath instead. Richards Mum came to join us so now I had Richard, his mum and my Mum with me. I think the rules say only 2 people, but no-one seemed to mind, which was good. Richard's Mum used to be a midwife, so she was a perfect person to have there, as the real midwives are often looking after several women, and so are in between different rooms to look after you all. Things got worse quite quickly when I was in the bath, even with Richard rubbing my back, and everyone trying to help me with my breathing, and before long I was making lots of noise and starting to worry - I didn't know how I was going to cope as it got worse, when it was hurting so much already!

I think I must have been waking people up by this point, as the bathroom I was in was in the ward you go to after baby has arrived, rather than in the delivery ward, and I really was making a lot of noise! They came to offer me gas and air. The first few breaths I had of it made me feel a bit sick, but I kept trying, and it really helped me. The midwife said I was allowed in the birthing pool, so we headed back down there and I had to stop several times in the corridor on the way for contractions.

I felt so much better as soon as I got in the pool - the water is so much deeper, so it supported me, and I could lie in a (relatively) comfortable position, and straight away I felt like I could do this. I kept going for a while, and at some point the midwife got me to clamber out of the water to see how everything was progressing. She discovered I was nearly there, and broke my waters, to hurry things along a bit.

My memories are all a bit hazy by this point, but I can see from my notes that it was 11:45 that they broke my waters. From then it wasn't very long before I was ready to start pushing. It was very hard work, but ok to start with. The midwife told me that the baby was very hairy, and I put my hand down to feel her head, which helped me to focus - I wanted to meet my baby by this point, and wanted the pain to be over!!! It was only the last 4 or 5 contractions that were the really horrible ones - that was when my skin stopped stretching and started to rip, and I could feel exactly where it was ripping, and I didn't want it! Everyone kept telling me to push, but I didn't want to, as it hurt so much, and I knew what was going to happen. I knew I couldn't stay like that forever, and I wanted to meet the baby, so in the end I gave it some wellie, and Isabella was born at 12:37am on 14th January.

The midwife passed her up to me, and I asked if we had a girl or a boy - someone told me she was a girl, so I said "Hello Isabella Molly". We sat in the pool for a bit having a cuddle, before the midwife cut the cord free, and checked her over. Richard cut the cord properly, and had a cuddle with her while I got my breath back! I was given an injection to try and stop me bleeding as much, and get the placenta to speed up. I don't know how long I was sat there, but the midwife must have been worried that the placenta wasn't moving, so I had to get out, while she tried various things to make it emerge. I didn't remember until I read my notes, but I fed Izzy while they were trying to get the placenta out - they tried injecting saline soution into the cord, and a few other things including aromatherapy oil to sniff. A doctor came to look at me too, and it wasn't till nearly 2am that they managed to get the placenta out. I was told that I would have to go into surgery to stitch me up, as I had torn down to my back passage, and they needed to check if it was just the skin, or had torn the muscle as well.

Richard looked after Isabella (he took her out to see his Dad, who had been patiently waiting in the corridor all that time with his Souduku book!) and my Mum had to put on Operating Theatre clothes so she could come in with me. I was glad I asked her to stay, as I was in the theatre for about 2 hours - I was given a spinal block, which made me very cold and shivery. It was very strange, as I could feel a bit of pressure as I was worked on, but not any pain.

You know when you take your car to the garage, and they lift it up into the cealing, and stand underneath it making those "this is going to be expensive" whistling-while-breathing-inward noises. Well being in surgery made me realise what that is like for the car Aparently when they looked at the placenta they weren't sure if it was all out, so the doctors had to check for that first. But the first doctor couldn't get his hand in, so the other consultant had a try - I joked that she would be ok, as she must have smaller hands. I must have been right, as she managed to check, and pronounced everything to be ok. So then they stitched me up. I was told that I didn't have any muscle tears, but that they did have to stitch my clit back together as well :-o !!! It's a good thing I was under anaesthetic, I can tell you! I didn't want to disturb the doctors while they were stitching in such an important place, so I chatted to my mum while they were working. I asked the doctor afterwards how many stiches, but he hadn't counted - he told me "over 20".

Once I was finished in the theatre, I was taken back to the room where Richard was holding Izzy - he told me she was hungry (I'm not surprised - so was I, but the doctors said I wasn't allowed to eat anything until the anaesthetic wore off.) so I fed her, and sent him and my mum home. Once she was full up a nurse helped me to wash and I finally got to go to sleep. By this point it was about 6am, and everyone was starting to wake up on the ward, so I'm not sure how much (if any) sleep I actually got!

I had to stay over another night, so we finally got to come home Thursday afternoon. I was very glad to get home - much better rest, and enough food. The food in hospital was nice enough, but there wasn't enough of it.

I'm definitely on the mend now - I was very stiff and sore (and full of stitches!!) to start with - even my jaw was sore from holding onto the gas and air!!! Everyone kept telling me I'd lost a lot of blood, but I've been prescribed iron tablets to fix that.

So far she is a very good baby. She is very good tempered, is feeding well, and doesn't make too much of a fuss about anything really. She didn't even wake up when the midwife took her blood this morning! And she keeps us all entertained with lots of funny faces. Even when she is sleeping she does superman impressions and when she is awake and hungry she pulls a face which reminds me of popeye !!! I'm sure she will have her moments like the rest of us, but if she continues as cheerful as she has been so far, we will be very lucky indeed ""

A few other bits I wanted to add:

When we came home we both were so overwhelmed with looking after new baby that we forgot to shut the front door! (Or front door is round a corner from the rest of the flat, so you can't see it is open unless you go right up to it.) It wasn't till the next day that we realised - god knows what the neighbours thought!

I have to say that the stitches/tears were really the most traumatic part for me - up until that point it was all a level of pain I could deal with, but that was too much and being able to feel where I was tearing was very traumatic. I have been left with a kind of lip scar tissue, so constantly feel "not quite right" - because I have no feeling in the scar tissue, it always feels like there is something there that shouldn't be - the doctor has told me they can refer me to a consultant about it, but it is probably a case of getting used to my new anatomy, rather than being something they can do about it. Typing this has made me realise that I'm still very tense and upset about the whole thing though, so I might have to be be brave and insist on seeing someone otherwise I may never let DH near me again

keelykat

ladybirdintheuk wrote: »

I've cut and pasted this from when I originally posted it on 19th Jan, with some very slight alternations:

""So, she was due on 5th January. The midwife did a couple of sweeps. The first one didn't work. The second one, on Friday the 9th, did a bit, but wasn't enough to get things moving properly. I spent the weekend getting little contractions on and off, but they didn't come to anything. She came again Monday morning (the 12th) and I wasn't sure if that had helped any more than the first one did - I was still getting the little occasional contractions, but nothing worse than reasonably bad period pains. Tuesday morning I decided to run up and down the stairs (well.. waddled anyway - running was beyond me!) before Patrick came to visit me. We spent the afternoon playing Worms (he won every time) before I had to go fetch Richard from work.

By the time we got back from his work the contractions were starting to get a bit worse, and I had to wait for one to finish before I got out of the car to come insude - it was a good thing we didn't get stuck in a traffic jam on the way home really! Withing half an hour we had decided that this probably was the real thing, so Richard stuck the tens machine to me. I found it helped the pain, and I'm sure that giving me something to fiddle with worked as a distraction technique as well. I managed to have some tea between contractions (Richard's mum laughed at me when we told her that - nothing stops me eating!) and by about 8 I was being driven to the hospital by my parents.

I was only 3cm dilated at that point, so they wouldn't let me get into the birthing pool, but they ran me a bath instead. Richards Mum came to join us so now I had Richard, his mum and my Mum with me. I think the rules say only 2 people, but no-one seemed to mind, which was good. Richard's Mum used to be a midwife, so she was a perfect person to have there, as the real midwives are often looking after several women, and so are in between different rooms to look after you all. Things got worse quite quickly when I was in the bath, even with Richard rubbing my back, and everyone trying to help me with my breathing, and before long I was making lots of noise and starting to worry - I didn't know how I was going to cope as it got worse, when it was hurting so much already!

I think I must have been waking people up by this point, as the bathroom I was in was in the ward you go to after baby has arrived, rather than in the delivery ward, and I really was making a lot of noise! They came to offer me gas and air. The first few breaths I had of it made me feel a bit sick, but I kept trying, and it really helped me. The midwife said I was allowed in the birthing pool, so we headed back down there and I had to stop several times in the corridor on the way for contractions.

I felt so much better as soon as I got in the pool - the water is so much deeper, so it supported me, and I could lie in a (relatively) comfortable position, and straight away I felt like I could do this. I kept going for a while, and at some point the midwife got me to clamber out of the water to see how everything was progressing. She discovered I was nearly there, and broke my waters, to hurry things along a bit.

My memories are all a bit hazy by this point, but I can see from my notes that it was 11:45 that they broke my waters. From then it wasn't very long before I was ready to start pushing. It was very hard work, but ok to start with. The midwife told me that the baby was very hairy, and I put my hand down to feel her head, which helped me to focus - I wanted to meet my baby by this point, and wanted the pain to be over!!! It was only the last 4 or 5 contractions that were the really horrible ones - that was when my skin stopped stretching and started to rip, and I could feel exactly where it was ripping, and I didn't want it! Everyone kept telling me to push, but I didn't want to, as it hurt so much, and I knew what was going to happen. I knew I couldn't stay like that forever, and I wanted to meet the baby, so in the end I gave it some wellie, and Isabella was born at 12:37am on 14th January.

The midwife passed her up to me, and I asked if we had a girl or a boy - someone told me she was a girl, so I said "Hello Isabella Molly". We sat in the pool for a bit having a cuddle, before the midwife cut the cord free, and checked her over. Richard cut the cord properly, and had a cuddle with her while I got my breath back! I was given an injection to try and stop me bleeding as much, and get the placenta to speed up. I don't know how long I was sat there, but the midwife must have been worried that the placenta wasn't moving, so I had to get out, while she tried various things to make it emerge. I didn't remember until I read my notes, but I fed Izzy while they were trying to get the placenta out - they tried injecting saline soution into the cord, and a few other things including aromatherapy oil to sniff. A doctor came to look at me too, and it wasn't till nearly 2am that they managed to get the placenta out. I was told that I would have to go into surgery to stitch me up, as I had torn down to my back passage, and they needed to check if it was just the skin, or had torn the muscle as well.

Richard looked after Isabella (he took her out to see his Dad, who had been patiently waiting in the corridor all that time with his Souduku book!) and my Mum had to put on Operating Theatre clothes so she could come in with me. I was glad I asked her to stay, as I was in the theatre for about 2 hours - I was given a spinal block, which made me very cold and shivery. It was very strange, as I could feel a bit of pressure as I was worked on, but not any pain.

You know when you take your car to the garage, and they lift it up into the cealing, and stand underneath it making those "this is going to be expensive" whistling-while-breathing-inward noises. Well being in surgery made me realise what that is like for the car Aparently when they looked at the placenta they weren't sure if it was all out, so the doctors had to check for that first. But the first doctor couldn't get his hand in, so the other consultant had a try - I joked that she would be ok, as she must have smaller hands. I must have been right, as she managed to check, and pronounced everything to be ok. So then they stitched me up. I was told that I didn't have any muscle tears, but that they did have to stitch my clit back together as well :-o !!! It's a good thing I was under anaesthetic, I can tell you! I didn't want to disturb the doctors while they were stitching in such an important place, so I chatted to my mum while they were working. I asked the doctor afterwards how many stiches, but he hadn't counted - he told me "over 20".

Once I was finished in the theatre, I was taken back to the room where Richard was holding Izzy - he told me she was hungry (I'm not surprised - so was I, but the doctors said I wasn't allowed to eat anything until the anaesthetic wore off.) so I fed her, and sent him and my mum home. Once she was full up a nurse helped me to wash and I finally got to go to sleep. By this point it was about 6am, and everyone was starting to wake up on the ward, so I'm not sure how much (if any) sleep I actually got!

I had to stay over another night, so we finally got to come home Thursday afternoon. I was very glad to get home - much better rest, and enough food. The food in hospital was nice enough, but there wasn't enough of it.

I'm definitely on the mend now - I was very stiff and sore (and full of stitches!!) to start with - even my jaw was sore from holding onto the gas and air!!! Everyone kept telling me I'd lost a lot of blood, but I've been prescribed iron tablets to fix that.

So far she is a very good baby. She is very good tempered, is feeding well, and doesn't make too much of a fuss about anything really. She didn't even wake up when the midwife took her blood this morning! And she keeps us all entertained with lots of funny faces. Even when she is sleeping she does superman impressions and when she is awake and hungry she pulls a face which reminds me of popeye !!! I'm sure she will have her moments like the rest of us, but if she continues as cheerful as she has been so far, we will be very lucky indeed ""

A few other bits I wanted to add:

When we came home we both were so overwhelmed with looking after new baby that we forgot to shut the front door! (Or front door is round a corner from the rest of the flat, so you can't see it is open unless you go right up to it.) It wasn't till the next day that we realised - god knows what the neighbours thought!

I have to say that the stitches/tears were really the most traumatic part for me - up until that point it was all a level of pain I could deal with, but that was too much and being able to feel where I was tearing was very traumatic. I have been left with a kind of lip scar tissue, so constantly feel "not quite right" - because I have no feeling in the scar tissue, it always feels like there is something there that shouldn't be - the doctor has told me they can refer me to a consultant about it, but it is probably a case of getting used to my new anatomy, rather than being something they can do about it. Typing this has made me realise that I'm still very tense and upset about the whole thing though, so I might have to be be brave and insist on seeing someone otherwise I may never let DH near me again

The tears and stitches were the worst bit for me too, although they only gave me gas and air along with numbing some bits-so i still felt lots of pain and it was worse then giving birth!

Hopefully you'll feel a lot better down there in time, its been almost 9 months for me and although i have one small area that feels a bit odd, it doesnt hurt and we have a normal sex life now. (i also had a tear up to my clit TMI but its healed fine! )