Help I dont know where to begin........

Scottyboy

I dont know where to start so I am just going to give it to you straight.

Yesterday I discovered my husband has been talking to other women on the internet and 4 months ago registered with a website looking to women or men.:eek:

I only discovered this as my laptop wasnt working and he was at the golf and didnt think he would mind if I used his work one. Only for this site to come up when I opened the internet.

This is not the first time. I found out he had been texting an old girlfriend 3 years ago when he left his phone in my car.

He says it is only an online thing and that he would never act on anything but I dont trust him. We have been up all night talking and I feel that you need trust to stay together. We have been together for 11 years and married for 7 and have 3 children. He also has no where to go and cant afford anywhere.

It doest help that I have physical health issues and have been dismissed through work last year so we have as a result got into lots of debt - so dont think I could survive on my own. My husband has to do quite a lots housewise and our 5 year old is going through diagnoisis for aspergers at the moment.

But I feel sick even looking at him.

Any advice.........I am petrified.

MrsE_2

I've just read this & I have no words of wisdom, but I didn't want to read & run.
Can I just offer you a friendly virtual hug.

Hopefully someone will be able to offer some real advice.

kjmtidea

I am going through exactly the same thing today, my partner took it 1 step further though and met up with someone, he ended up kissing her. I am just about to go pack his stuff.

Scottyboy

Thanks for the support, nice to know I am not alone.

I packed his stuff, he refused to go anywhere, said he wants to fight so us. My heads all over the place so I left and spent the night at a local b&b.

My mum doesnt have space and would take great pleasure in this whole situation - we dont get on.

Am now at home for the kids, dont know what to do tonight.

I have asked him to write down everything that happened and why he felt the need as he finds it had to put things into words.

I hate the thought of losing him as I love him so much but I cant stand lies.

bellrooster

I don't know what to say, but as the other lady said I didn't want to read and run!

I know 'sort of' know how gut wretchingly awful it is when you feel that trust is lost with your OH - My OH spends far too much time talking to women on Facebook (including ex gf's) but I just have to give him the benefit of the doubt :mad:

It's a good idea to have asked your OH to write things down, I hope it helps and I hope that you feel better soon

BitterAndTwisted

"He says it is only an online thing and that he would never act on anything but I don't trust him."

It's horrible to think that your partner might be thinking of getting up to mischief with someone else but at the moment that's all he's been doing (as far as you know). Thinking isn't doing and it might just be a safe outlet for him at the moment. It's also possible that there's something in his sex-life with you that he hasn't been totally open with you about and that might be what he's thinking about looking for.

Keep talking and try not to over-react. It might feel like betrayal but it isn't yet. Eleven years and three children is a lot to chuck down the drain. If your marriage is a good one, fight for it!

moggitymog

understand what you are going through, been through similar recently, we are trying to work through it some days better than others, i hope you can get sorted xx

lolababy

Your angry at the moment and hurt but dont let this cloud you judgement. Has he just talked with the women on line or has the conversation been more intimate. Is it the talking to other women or your insecurities about the way he feels about you.
Look at the bigger picture , he loves you and has been with you through one of your worst times ie your health problems. If he did not love you Im sure he would have left by now. Your children need a stable home life and are you really going to break up your marriage over this.
He has lied but unless things have gone further than what he says then its not too late to save your marriage.