Wife left me - need advice

Aussie_Abroad

Hi, well my first post in this forum is also the saddest post Ive ever made on a forum

Anyway, Ive recently found out my wife has been having an affair for the past four months and she is now leaving me with our two kids and I would really appreciate any advice on where I stand on the financial side of things.

We have been married for 7 years in which time she worked part time for about 18 months at the beginning of the relationship.

Our home is provided by my job so that isnt really an issue in this case and the only other assetts we have is a 9000 pound car, which I will finish paying off in the next month or two and a flat, which is in my name, that has an interest only mortgage but is in negative equity (by about 50000 pounds). Although, due to current interest rates, I receive about 450 pounds a month more in rent than my mortgage repayments cost. The property was a mutual decision and we have had it for 4 years.

According to the CSA calculator, based on me having the kids 2 nights a week, the recommended payments would be 51 pounds a week. Would I also be expected to pay for the kids extracurricular activities such as ballet, swimming, singing lessons, football, etc?

So, basically, I was wondering what I would like to know is where I stand in relation to the car, the "investment" property and any other monies I would be expected to give her.

Thanks in advance

Stryder

its a very complex issue, and you need professional advice (maybe start with CAB)

but why wouldnt you want to pay for the kids things? dont get into tit-for-tat arguments and look after what is most important, your kids.

good luck

Aussie_Abroad

I definitely do want to pay for my kids and will! but am just wondering what I am expected to pay.

RAS

You are expected to pay the CSA recommended payment. The rest of it is for negoitiation.

What I would say is that funding two homes instead of one is a lot more expensive and you may find that it is not possible for you to fund all the activities you could afford living in one home. Also will they still be living in the right area and can your ex get them to the activities, particularly if she starts to work?

Aussie_Abroad

Yeah, they will be living within 10 minutes of where we live at the moment.

Our, now my, current accommodation is free with bills included. I just have to pay council tax on it.

RAS

Someone now has to pay for the other accomodation, between you you now have fotwo sets of household goods, two lots of utility bills etc. You are lucky to have accomodation that is free and wher your kids can stay, but do not underestimate the costs of the split.

And bear in mind that lawyers cost money as well.

Soubrette

You are expected to pay 20% of your net income less 2/7th if you have them for at least 104 nights a year. There is some flexibility with that.

The 2/7ths reduction is supposed to be an acknowledgement that you have responsibility and expenses for your children while they are with you.

So for example - for simplicities sake, whilst with you on the weekend the children play football - you would pay. On a Wednesday night while with your ex partner, they do ballet - she would be expected to pay.

School stuff would come under her expenses although it might be nice to offer to pay for half of large costs such as school trips.

Personally if I were the NRP I would pay the prescribed amount given by the CSA (you can arrange privately using their formula as a basis) and anything extra I personally would spend on them myself (or put by in savings or whatever). I am the PWC.

However, I would also deal honestly with the PWC by declaring all increases in income and making sure that my children had at least 20% of my income spent on them either through the PWC or my myself.

Sorry to hear about your bad times and good luck for the future.

Oh already pulled up on this in a previous post NRP = non resident parent and PWC is the parent with care - CSA jargon.

Sou

Aussie_Abroad

Yeah, thanks RAS I guess so. I think Ill have to get down to citizens advice asap.

@Sou Thanks for that advice, I think that sounds like a good and fair way to play it.

Cheers for your help

RAS

Many solicitors will do a basic first session for free or for about £50 which would help you.