stressed and in need of urgent help

stress_2

Hi there - I'm using a different name than normal, because my husband knows what my name is on here and this is about him, I don't want him to know I'm posting here. Basically I need some help and advice from you good people.

I just need some advice for what to do / claim. My husband and I both work full time. He earns £14k, I earn £20k.

He has had a lot of time off sick due to depression and his work's sick pay has run out. He's also received a letter (2 weeks ago) saying SSP would run out too and that he should apply for IB. So far he hasn't done this as he thinks he won't get it and he also thinks he'll be going back to work soon. However so far he hasn't and he gets dressed every morning but then has panic attacks and goes back home again, saying he just needs another day, and he'll go in tomorrow. And whenever I say to him to ring up about IB he says he won't because he's going back tomorrow. Also IB isn't very much anyway and our bills are more than what I earn. Is there anything else he could claim if he can't go back to work. I went on entitled to and it said we weren't entitled to anything - but can that really be right? With our mortgage and bills we can't live on £20 p.a. Is there anything you can advise me. What I really want is for him to go back to work but it's hard dealing with his depression, and I try not to let him drag me down with him.
Hope that makes sense and someone can help, I'm really stressed and upset.

NASA_2

Well, it probably wouldnt be IB, but ESA, and I dont see why he wouldnt be entitled to the Contribution Based part of the benefit. As for the mortgage - its unlikely you will get any help from the government - do you not have a mortgage protection policy?

McKneff

No reason why he wouldnt get ESA, has he been to the doctor regarding his depresseion. It wont go away on its own, he needs some help.

Stroof

This sounds very much like your husband's medical problems are being under-represented, and that he needs help in order to help himself - your doctor should be able to do so.

I wonder also, it sounds like you are in the position of being a carer - and help should be available for you too.

cattie

I understand that you're stressed & upset, but you must be careful that your husband doesn't feel under any pressure to force himself back to work untill he can cope with it.

Has he been having any trouble at work that may make him reluctant deep down to go back to the workplace?

You don't say whether he is under the dr or on any medication for his depression, but it sounds as if he should be. He sounds more than just moderately depressed.

Other's more in the know have said here that he could claim for ESA, so encourage him to apply & say you've found out he could claim. Being negative is a symptom of depression, which is probably the reason he's been saying he won't be able to claim anything.

stress_2

Hiya, thank you for the responses so far. We don't have PPI on our mortgage. My DH is under the doctor - he has CBT and he's on the max dose of antidepressants, and he takes beta blockers for his panic attacks too. I've tried to find out if it's something at work stopping him going back but I can't find anything except that there's been a few changes at his work and I think that can set off his depression too. About being a carer - yes I suppose in an emotional way I am - well I feel it's my duty as a wife rather than being a carer, but since I work full time wouldn't that mean I couldn't get any help for that? He said he'll go tomorrow so if he doesn't I'll tell him to ring for ESA. When you say contribution based do you mean the same as JSA is ie, not means tested? I didn't know that, but he's worked full time for the last 4 years so should have enough contributions, right? Hope that additional info helps and thanks again to everyone that's replied so far.

Pee

Hey.. that must be so difficult for you, and so difficult for him, too.

He does need to make the claim, but you can see why he doesn't want to, I'm sure that will be hard and he's hoping he'll feel well enough to be back in work...

I don't have any answers, just wanted to wish you all the best.

cattie

stress wrote: »

About being a carer - yes I suppose in an emotional way I am - well I feel it's my duty as a wife rather than being a carer, but since I work full time wouldn't that mean I couldn't get any help for that? QUOTE]


As you work full time & your husband isn't on DLA you wouldn't qualify for carer's allowance anyway. Carer's allowance is only paid for people on at least medium rate care of dla & the carer mustn't be earning over £95 per week.

If your husbands mental condition doesn't improve then perhaps he could try for dla. The illness or disabilty needs to have been present for at least 3months & be expected to continue for a further 6 months. It isn't an easy benefit to get for mental health problems unless the condition is quite severe & the person is under psychiatrist &/or cpn, with the related medical backup.

It sounds as if your husbands gp hasn't considered him unwell enough yet to refer to psychiatrist & is hoping that the CBT will help. Fingers crossed it does.

claire1234

hiya,

he should be able to claim disability living allowance on the grounds that he has mental health problems and panick attacks (my fella does too), its a non means tested benefit,
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/DisabledPeople/FinancialSupport/DisabilityLivingAllowance/index.htm

incapacity is now employment and support allowance, see here
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/DisabledPeople/FinancialSupport/esa/index.htm

some info for you as your working and caring for your partner:
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/CaringForSomeone/CarersAndEmployment/DG_4000206

id reccomend seeing a welfare officer to see if they can help n give more advise,

hope that helps,