Non-Soppy Wedding Readings - Help

kelda_shelton

sunshinejoclaire - tha Vox site has some great ones.. like this one...

Oh tell me the truth about love, W.H.Auden



Some say love's a little boy,
And some say it's a bird,
Some say it makes the world go around,
Some say that's absurd,
And when I asked the man next-door,
Who looked as if he knew,
His wife got very cross indeed,
And said it wouldn't do.
Does it look like a pair of pyjamas,
Or the ham in a temperance hotel?
Does its odour remind one of llamas,
Or has it a comforting smell?
Is it prickly to touch as a hedge is,
Or soft as eiderdown fluff?
Is it sharp or quite smooth at the edges?
O tell me the truth about love.
Our history books refer to it
In cryptic little notes,
It's quite a common topic on
The Transatlantic boats;
I've found the subject mentioned in
Accounts of suicides,
And even seen it scribbled on
The backs of railway guides.
Does it howl like a hungry Alsatian,
Or boom like a military band?
Could one give a first-rate imitation
On a saw or a Steinway Grand?
Is its singing at parties a riot?
Does it only like Classical stuff?
Will it stop when one wants to be quiet?
O tell me the truth about love.
I looked inside the summer-house;
It wasn't over there;
I tried the Thames at Maidenhead,
And Brighton's bracing air.
I don't know what the blackbird sang,
Or what the tulip said;
But it wasn't in the chicken-run,
Or underneath the bed.
Can it pull extraordinary faces?
Is it usually sick on a swing?
Does it spend all its time at the races,
or fiddling with pieces of string?
Has it views of its own about money?
Does it think Patriotism enough?
Are its stories vulgar but funny?
O tell me the truth about love.
When it comes, will it come without warning
Just as I'm picking my nose?
Will it knock on my door in the morning,
Or tread in the bus on my toes?
Will it come like a change in the weather?
Will its greeting be courteous or rough?
Will it alter my life altogether?
O tell me the truth about love.

SmlSave

That's a really nice one Kelda! I'm forwarding it to my OH now

Sammy_Girl

I would love to have The Owl and the !!!!!cat by Edward Lear. But because I am so immature the second verse would just make me laugh - which is prob not appropriate for a church wedding lol

The Owl and the !!!!!-cat went to sea

In a beautiful pea green boat,

They took some honey, and plenty of money,

Wrapped up in a five pound note.


The Owl looked up to the stars above,

And sang to a small guitar,

'O lovely !!!!!! O !!!!! my love,

What a beautiful !!!!! you are,

You are,
You are!

What a beautiful !!!!! you are!

!!!!! said to the Owl, 'You elegant fowl!

How charmingly sweet you sing!

O let us be married! too long we have tarried:

But what shall we do for a ring?'


They sailed away, for a year and a day,

To the land where the Bong-tree grows

And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood

With a ring at the end of his nose,

His nose,
His nose,

With a ring at the end of his nose.

'Dear pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling

Your ring?' Said the Piggy, 'I will.'

So they took it away, and were married next day

By the Turkey who lives on the hill.


They dined on mince, and slices of quince,

Which they ate with a runcible spoon;

And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,

They danced by the light of the moon,

The moon,
The moon,

They danced by the light of the moon.


I'm still after a second reading, so please keep the readings coming girls!

Sammy_Girl

:rotfl:

I love MSEs rude word filter

Sammy_Girl

Ok, found another one......

I’ll be there

By Louise Cuddon

I’ll be there, my darling,
Through thick and through thin
When your mind’s in a mess
When your head’s in a spin

When your plane’s been delayed
When you’ve missed the last train
When life is just threatening
To drive you insane

When your thrilling whodunit
Has lost its last page
When somebody tells you
You’re looking your age

When you coffee’s too cool
And your wine is too warm
When the forecast said “fine”
But you’re out in a storm

When you ordered the Korma
But got the Madras
When you wake in the night
And are sure you smell gas

When your quick-break hotel
Is more like a slum
And your holiday photos
Show only your thumb


When you park for five minutes
In a resident’s bay
And return to discover
You’ve been towed away

When the jeans that you bought
In hope or in haste
Stick on your hips
And won’t reach round your waist

When the dentist looking into
Your mouth and just sighs
…..
When your heros turn out
To be wimps in disguise

When the food you most like
Brings you out in red rashes
When as soon as you boot up
The loathsome thing crashes

When you’re in extra time
And the other team scores
When you’re playing the jester
But get no applause.

When you gaze at the stars
And step on a nail.
When you know you’ll succeed
But, somehow, you fail

When your horoscope tells you
You’ll have a good day
So you ask for a rise
And your boss says “No way”


So my darling, my sweetheart, my dear.

When you spill your beer
When you shed a tear

When you burn the toast
When you miss the post

When you loose the plot
When I’m all you’ve got

When you break a rile
When you act the fool

When you’re in a stew

Don’t feel blue

‘Cause I’m telling you:

I’ll be there

I’ll be there

I’ll be there for you.

mshelsbels

Aww, my daughter is thinking about reading this at ours - might be a bit long though!

A Lovely Love Story by Edward Monkton

The fierce Dinosaur was trapped inside his cage of ice. Although it was cold he was happy in there. It was, after all, his cage.
Then along came the Lovely Other Dinosaur. The Lovely Other Dinosaur melted the Dinosaur's cage with kind words and loving thoughts.
I like this Dinosaur, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. Although he is fierce he is also tender and he is funny. He is also quite clever although I will not tell him this for now.
I like this Lovely Other Dinosaur, thought the Dinosaur. She is beautiful and she is different and she smells so nice. She is also a free spirit which is a quality I much admire in a Dinosaur.
But he can be so distant and so peculiar at times, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. He is also overly fond of things. Are all Dinosaurs so overly fond of things?
But her mind skips from here to there so quickly, thought the Dinosaur. She is also uncommonly keen on shopping. Are all Lovely Other Dinosaurs so uncommonly keen on shopping?
I will forgive his peculiarity and his concern for things, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. For they are part of what make him a richly charactered individual.I will forgive her skipping mind and her fondness for shopping, thought the Dinosaur. For she fills our life with beautiful thought and wonderful surprises. Besides, I am not unkeen on shopping either.
Now the Dinosaur and Lovely Other Dinosaur are old. Look at them. Together they stand on the hill telling each other stories and feeling the warmth of the sun on their backs.
And that, my friends, is how it is with love. Let us all be Dinosaurs and Lovely Other Dinosaurs together. For the sun is warm. And the world is a beautiful place.

awww!

mshelsbels

I'm favouring this one though...I've changed it around a bit so it fits us better!!
He Never Leaves the Toilet Seat up
Anonymous

He never leaves the seat up
Or wet towels upon the floor
The toothpaste has the lid on
And he always shuts the door!

She's very clean and tidy
Though she may sometimes delude
Leave your things out at your peril
In a second they'll have moved!

She romances him and dines him
Home cooked dinners and the like
She even knows his favourite food
And spoils him day and night!

He’s thoughtful when she looks at him
A smile upon his face
Will he look that good in 40 years
When his dentures aren't in place?!

He says he loves her figure
And her mental prowess too
But when gravity takes her over
Will she charm with her IQ?

She says she loves his kindness
And his patience is a must
And of course she thinks he's handsome
Which in her eyes is a plus!

They're both not wholly perfect
But who are we to judge?
He can be, at times, pig headed
Whereas she won't even budge!

All that said and done
They love the time they spend together
And I hope, as I'm sure you do
That this feeling will last forever.

He'll be more than just her husband
He'll also be her friend
And she'll be more than just his wife
She'll be his soul mate 'till the end.

This poem is for David and Helen
A married couple now
It's a token of the love they share
And the thought behind each vow