The recession, benefits, the safety net, and the learning curve

andygb

I haven't read all of the posts here, because there are so many, but first I would like to wish Max all the best, and hope that he finds something soon.
I am 51, and up to July last year had worked for 33 years, most recently in a variety of temporary/contract positions in accountancy. My wife was made redundant two years ago (she is now in work), and I didn't sign on until September 2008, because I thought I would get something quickly. How wrong I was! I have sent out hundreds of CVs by mail and via the web, but to no avail. I contact agencies on a daily basis and look in newspapers. I have no doubt that my age has a part to play in the negative response which I am getting.
So, what benefits am I getting?
Answer - NOTHING!
My JSA was stopped in March of this year, because I had not managed to find a job within 6 months, and the government have decided that a married couple only need £400 a month to live on (fortunately my wife earns more than that). We have exhausted our ISAs, and have not had a holiday for 3 years. I cannot remember the last time we went to a pub or had a meal out.
Last week, one of my friends told me about his step daughter who is 21. She has three children by different partners (she had the first child at 15). She has never worked in her life, but has a lovely flat provided by the taxpayer. She still sees the fathers of the children occasionally (so, why are they not being made to pay for this "mess"?), and lives in relative comfort, never having to worry about anything. She even leaves the kids with her mother when she wants to go clubbing.
I have considered ending it all several times, but thankfully I worry about my wife, and the effect it would have on her.
We do need a "safety net" in the form of benefits, but the system has to change, because at the moment, the people who have never contributed anything have a far better life, than those who have tried to do the "right thing" all of their lives.

treliac

andygb wrote: »

I am 51, and up to July last year had worked for 33 years...........

I wish you the very best of luck in hanging on in there and finding a job. Maybe a change of govt will bring in changes that will address this form of inequality. The strength of feeling is only going to continue to grow. Ordinary people who have worked hard feel discriminated against in the benefits system.

And how can we possibly be expected to work until 68 - 70 if you can't get another job past the age of 45 - 50?

Diabolical. :mad:

pickles110564

treliac wrote: »

I wish you the very best of luck in hanging on in there and finding a job. Maybe a change of govt will bring in changes that will address this form of inequality. The strength of feeling is only going to continue to grow. Ordinary people who have worked hard feel discriminated against in the benefits system.

And how can we possibly be expected to work until 68 - 70 if you can't get another job past the age of 45 - 50?

Diabolical. :mad:

All over the years you hear of people taking the p1ss out of the support systems (DOLE) and when you hear of genuine people who have strived to work hard all their lifes they get sh1te on. It makes my blood boil, wish I was clever enough to stand for government and sort out these biased rules and help the people that have made these scivers have an easy time.

dopester

andygb wrote: »

I have considered ending it all several times, but thankfully I worry about my wife, and the effect it would have on her.

That is a bit heavy. I hope you are not being overly serious with this part.

Sometimes our outlook in what we value in life can keep us positive - I've always liked to believe I'd remain strong enough of mind so that, even if I lost everything, I could start over from scratch.

Not meaning to downplay your situation here, how you are feeling, or speak down from a high-horse, but this is how I've always looked at things (although I'm not sure it is consistent with UK law - or religious organisations.)

So long as a productive person has some degree of freedom and choice, that person can always maintain and expand happiness.

If circumstances totally beyond one's control forever eliminate all possibilities of maintaining and expanding happiness (i.e., a no-escape situation from a terror-totalitarian torture death, or the final stages of a painful, terminal illness), the individual has the right and option to avoid a terminal existence of unhappiness and pain. That right and option is suicide.

The suicide option should never be misconstrued as an escape or option when life is difficult, or seems hopeless, or even when one seems to lose everything, including one's invaluable, irreplaceable romantic-love partner. With consistent rational choices, a person can always experience increasing happiness again, no matter how difficult or painful the immediate situation seems.

The only two situations in which suicide is a rational option for the productive individual are (1) a no-hop, high-suffering, terminal illness situation, and (2) an absolutely no escape, no-hope slavery/torture/death situation.

Also I'd encourage you to take a look here
http://www.samaritans.org/your_emotional_health.aspx

lostinrates

dopester wrote: »

I could start over from scratch.

I think you could. I think more people could than know they could. Although I didn't lose it all financially I spent a lot of what I had accumulated, and I've had to relearn preety much everything from how to use a knife and fork to how to talk coherantly. People have amazing resource of stregnth they just don't know about.

BTW dopster, I tried to pm you and you no longer take them. I'm sorry about that, I had wanted to say something to you via PM.

pickles110564

andygb wrote: »

I have considered ending it all several times, but thankfully I worry about my wife, and the effect it would have on her.

Please mate dont do it, when I was younger a good mate of mine did it and it screwed my head up for a long time as I wished I could have been there for him and stopped him.
At the moment it might seem that there is now way out for you but please try to be positive and all us on here will be thinking of good things for you and hopefully some good things will start happening for you soon.
Best Rgds
Paul.

dopester

lostinrates wrote: »

Although I didn't lose it all financially I spent a lot of what I had accumulated, and I've had to relearn preety much everything from how to use a knife and fork to how to talk coherantly. People have amazing resource of strecnth they just don't know about.

Yes LIR, I've long kept in mind your situation from previous discussion via PM - and have admired your inner-strength, powers of recovery, and positiveness - together with your ambitions. Not everyone has that resource of strength. Quite a few do hopefully, but I've got experience where a family member let an illness make them too negative of mind.

What happened with NDG disturbed me quite a bit, and that awful PM she received, so immediately after I disabled my own PMs - with a mind to keep all stuff to forum only. You don't have to PM me. I was half-teasing before. Accepted what you say, and also know sometimes my views are a bit too negative, or out-of-place, and not worthy of an agreement thank.

pickles110564

dopester wrote: »

Yes LIR, I've long kept in mind your situation from previous discussion via PM - and have admired your inner-strength, powers of recovery, and positiveness - together with your ambitions. Not everyone has that resource of strength. Quite a few do hopefully, but I've got experience where a family member let an illness make them too negative of mind.

What happened with NDG disturbed me quite a bit, and that awful PM she received, so immediately after I disabled my own PMs - with a mind to keep all stuff to forum only. You don't have to PM me. I was half-teasing before. Accepted what you say, and also know sometimes my views are a bit too negative, or out-of-place, and not worthy of an agreement thank.

Reading these posts tonight is making me think I might have been a bit to nasty when taking the mick out of the Norwich fans in the last few weeks.

lostinrates

dopester wrote: »

. Not everyone has that resource of strength......

What happened with NDG disturbed me quite a bit,.

I think a lot of people do. Rememeber, its not just me who has been through this, my family, but primarily DH suffered more than me in very, very many ways. He had to find a strength he didn't know he had either, and for someone else, not himself.

NDG events horrified me. Truely horrified me. I had taken a break from MSE for a while, and was just aghast when I heard the rumours. I infact had arranged to meet with two MSEers and DH mde me cancel the appointment. He has since relented and I have met an MSEer in real life now, which was super fun and that person was truely who they appeared to be online which was really nice.

I don't only thank to agree.

Sometimes with posts I find interesting, particularly yours and Bubbles money I just find them text heavy. Despite that I am logged in most of the time:D I actually usually buzz about while reading and I think the longer text heavy more information posts are harder to take in unless you are actually sitting down and committing rather than flicking the refresh button.

SingleSue

lostinrates wrote: »

I think you could. I think more people could than know they could. Although I didn't lose it all financially I spent a lot of what I had accumulated, and I've had to relearn preety much everything from how to use a knife and fork to how to talk coherantly. People have amazing resource of stregnth they just don't know about.

BTW dopster, I tried to pm you and you no longer take them. I'm sorry about that, I had wanted to say something to you via PM.

That is certainly true....when my marriage broke up, I really didn't see how I could go forward (it didn't help that I was also mid break down) and rebuild my life. Those dark thoughts expressed by andygb did pass my mind more than once, I felt like I was on the scrap heap, unwanted and not really employable with so much excess baggage in the children and their difficulties.

I did give myself a kick up the bum after a while when I realised that this could be the making of me...no-one to bring my enthusiasm down anymore, no-one telling me I was crap anymore, I could literally do anything I wanted to with my future.

So I took the bull by the horns and signed up for my first course..just to test the water so to speak, see if the old brain cells still worked and when that worked out ok, went onto phase 2..a proper long term course.

Phase 2 is almost complete (only one module to go which I should complete in less than 4 weeks) and phase 3 has already started in my degree.

Phase 4 will overlap with phase 3 as that is the getting back to work phase in the career I want (this is aside from looking for work in anything which I continue to do).

Phase 5 is then using my degree when completed, to get an even better job combining my two loves of shipping and law.

Thinking of it like that makes it seem worthwhile and gives a sense of achievement...and keeps those dark thoughts away.