Donating eggs

chaliepud

No not Tesco Value eggs!

I have been asked if I would consider donating my eggs to help another couple get further up the list for IVF, they have tried a few times and are not getting any younger. I have previously offered to do this for a very close friend who in the end decided her one child was enough for her. The "new" couple have no children.

Has anyone done this? Did the hormones that you have to inject for weeks before cause any side effects, was the process any more than mildly uncomfortable? It will be done at a private/quality hospital so I have no worries about professionalism.

Also, now the law has changed I think if a child is produced - which hopefully it would - they would be able to contact me upon reaching 18, I have very mixed feelings about that. My OH and I disagree on the implications of another child in the world that is mine but not mine but we need to talk further about that if I decide I want to go ahead,

Just for info, I have 3 happy healthy children of my own (no more) am 35 this year and have had no health problems with any of them, inside or out!

Sorry it is a bit long, but would appreciate any opinions

Hayley

wigginsmum

I've not done this but I believe they give you something like Clomid to make the eggs ready; my old boss was on Clomid and spent a week with her head down the loo feeling very ill indeed.

love2save

I had IVF treatment to have my last child (was sterilised whilst young.....long story) The drugs used to stimulate the egg production did cause me to feel a little ill, moody and bloated but were manageable. The removal of the eggs (I had 20!) was painful even after having an injection of pethadine (Doctors said it would be 'uncomfortable'). Unfortunately the 1st IVF attempt didn't work and on the 2nd attempt I paid extra to have a general anaesthetic whilst the eggs were removed which was definately worth it.

sparklymessygirl

Hayley,

I have had IVF treatment. Initially you have to sniff a spray to knock out your own hormones - essentially to put you into an artificial menopause. This can give you hot flushes. It can take 3 weeks to get you to the right place hormonally speaking. Then you have to inject yourself (or get non squeamish partner to do it) every day as close as poss to the same time. I disliked both of these things (I felt like I was injecting poison into myself - I NEVER go to the doctor as I like natural remedies and IVF treatment is as non-natural as you can get). You gradually create bigger and bigger follicles - may have to continue this for couple of weeks or longer to get them to the right size. Sometimes you can feel tender - like ovulation pain and you can get quite emotional (but that may be due in part to the stress and worry - more so if you are having the treatment for yourself). You will have to have scans probably on a daily basis towards the end to see how many follicles you have (and therefore how many eggs are likely to be produced). Then when you are ready to pop you give yourself a trigger injection and then the next day or so you have the eggs removed. For me this was vaginally with a long thin catheter thing - the needle they use withing the catheter (which is really a tiny pipe thing to contain the needle thing) does have to make a small puncture to get to the follicles. You can have a pre-med (I didn't) and then have pethidine (you may know how this feels as some women have this in labour). It makes you tender for a few days.

I hope this gives you an accurate picture of the treatment. Little things about it will vary from woman to woman and from clinic to clinic.

Re the anonymity thing - you are right and that any resulting child will be able to find out who you are when they are 18 (if they know that they were a donor child). I have donated some of my eggs (in return for cut price treatment - I did this prior to the change in the law - I would have loved to have met my offspring and would have no problem with that - my personal opinion is that if the child wants it then it is important for a child to know as much as poss about their genetic provenance.

It is an an act of supreme generosity in my opinion but one not to be entered into lightly. (You will be offered counselling). I should think it would be very difficult without the support of your partner - you need someone's shoulder to cry on with all those hormones running about.

PM me if you need further info. Bless you for thinking about it - even if you don't do it.

Sparkly x

trippy

HI, I am about to go through egg donation and have just got a referral from my GP. I'm waiting for my counselling session. So you could get that far, and if during the counselling you realise that it's not for you, for whatever reason, you can stop.

I think the change in the law is that you are just not allowed to be an anonymous donor. Your name will be on a register linked to the eggs you produced and any outcome. Whereas before I guess there was no record where the eggs came from. My literature says "The clinic has a legal obligation to record a donor's name which will not be passed on to the recipient or any resulting child. People over 16 who ask can be told whether they could be related to someone they want to marry. Fulfilling this legal duty will not involve the disclosure of any information which could identify donors."

It's a shame that there's this perception that a child can turn up on your doorstep after 20 years calling you "mum"! as from the literature that's not my understanding of it. I wonder how many women are put off the idea of egg donation simply on this basis?

Anyway, with regards to the drugs etc., having spoken at length to women who've undergone IVF, it can vary how poorly they make you feel. But everyone was in agreement that you need the full support of your partner.

sparklymessygirl

Me again!

Hopeully I've posted a link to the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Website from which you can see a leaflet on the legal consequences (and other factors) of donating sperm or eggs. Hope it works

http://www.hfea.gov.uk/ForDonors

Sparkly

trippy

Thanks for that. Interestingly my leaflet was last updated May 2003! I'm a bit annoyed about that as it's obviously hideously out of date and the information within is misleading. I'm going to have a word!

sparklymessygirl

You're welcome
Sparkly x

notakid

I did egg donation five years ago, and I will say it was horrible. You can get a reaction I think it is over stimlertion of the ovararies. I was told by the hosp that it could happen before donation but it happened after. It was very painful and frightening and when i called the hospital they told me to come in! I couldn't walk let alone drive 15 miles! I asked if it was dangerous to my health and they said it would pass so I stayed in bed for a day. It is the worst I have ever felt I never had any follow up phone call from the hospital but after 48 hours I was fine.

The drugs do bloat you up and going under general for the operation was pretty horrible too.

I also put on alot of weight but thats natural for me! I do not know if the egg donation was a success as I decided that I would donate and then walk away much as a sperm donor does.

Do you know these people as friends, will you see the child? Its something to consider.

With the change in the law, i don't know if I had my time again I would do it. Maybe, as I have had several misscarriges myself and understand slightly how awful it must be not to be able to have children and how can it be bad to help a new life into being? On the other hand, since I donated my son has been dianozed as Austisic, have I passed this on? It haunts me sometimes. Its strange, you only want to do something good but things can happen. I am glad I opted for not knowing the outcome as otherwise I could go mad thinking about it.

chaliepud

Thanks everyone for your replies, and for taking the time out to do it, much appreciated. I have alot of thinking to do but I am erring towards not doing it as the inconvenience and health implications may be too high when I have 3 children , 3 dogs and a small business to run.

Thanks again

H