MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Would you give up a £50 train seat for a pregnant woman?

matchmade

This is a well thought-out question because the conditions on crowded trains can be absolutely barbaric. I fail to see how the train companies can justify letting people onto a train when they don't have a booked ticket, because from health and safety reasons alone the train must be illegal. I have stood on a packed train for five hours from Manchester to Reading, despite having a booked seat - I simply could not get to my seat as there seemed to be more people standing than sitting down. There were people in tears because they could not get through to go to the toilet - it was absolutely disgusting.

As regards the pregnant woman, of course one feels one ought to give up one's seat, but one is the pressure but on the lone brave individual (usually a man) to make the sacrifice, with everyone else studiously ignoring the situation in typical British manner? I think I'd try to make some humour out of the situation and say that I'm prepared to enter a sweepstake or draw straws to give up my seat if anyone else is prepared to join in, and then take my chances. Anyone else who doesn't volunteer to join the sweepstake should promise to write a stinking letter to the train company about the cattle-truck conditions we're travelling in . . .

roslancaster

Of course, I would give up my seat. I think it is the only decent thing to do. Someone said she should have booked. How does anyone know the circumstances of her journey. Actually I wonder if that is a man. Having been pregnant with twins myself, I know what its like. There's little enough courtesy these days> Lets try and keep what little remains

Bogof_Babe

I think this has little to do with courtesy, and everything to do with trying to arrive at your destination without a crippled back or totally jarred bones. The only way to avoid having to stand is to book a seat, so whatever the woman's circumstances she should have made an effort to do so, and if it was not possible because her chosen train was fully booked then find another one where it is possible.

It would have to be the most exceptional of situations (e.g. sudden bereavement) for a pregnant woman to need to travel at short notice if she finds standing uncomfortable and couldn't get a seat. Even anti-natal appointments are known about long enough in advance for the person to book a seat.

As for those "baby on board" badges, I hate them enough in cars, and they would certainly not influence me if worn as an adornment. What's to stop every woman under the age of 50 from sporting one? Perhaps I could get one made with "knackered knees on board".

I'm afraid in this day and age you have to look after number one, because no other blighter will.

I agree with the poster above who cites the appalling way trains are allowed to become overcrowded to the point of endangering passengers. Buses simply won't let you on if they are full and have the allowed number of standing travellers. Trains presumably are too greedy to take this approach.

Perhaps we need another poll - would you (a) travel in sardine conditions, standing if necessary?, or (b) wait for another train if you haven't booked a seat and none are available?

dbfisokay

This is a straight forward dilemma between my personal comfort and a pregnant woman's comfort + an unborn baby's comfort, as that is inextricable from the mother's comfort. Admittedly there is an argument that she should have pre-booked and that my payment gives me rights, however this is a live situation in which I either do or do not. My actions will directly reflect my value system and if £50 was put before a pregnant mother/unborn child that system would be self evident. It might be that giving up the seat on the understanding that it be returned to me if the pregnant woman gets off before I do is a possibility. In all likely hood if I don't give up my seat another person will and I will be left with my conscience, which at the end of the day is better at paece than in financial profit.

shays_mum

Hell yes I would!
The issue is not the money, the issue is helping out someone who genuinely needs it, this goes for anybody not bodily able for whatever reason, not only a pregnant woman.
When i was growing up, it was just good manners, something we instinctively did. Judging by some of the attitudes here, i am really saddened if they are the sign of the times

Rab19

Definitely YES to sharing the seat - having been in the same position myself.

I tend to travel by car when pregnant, but the second time round, I had SPD, which is REALLY painful & put me on crutches & unable to drive for a bit.

We'd got tickets to watch West Ham play in my 8th month & got the tube from Hornchurch - only 8 stops away - and I'd taken my crutches in case I was 'feeling it at the end of the night. We got on the tube home - jam-packed as you can imagine - and I told my Husband to get on first to ensure I'd be able to get on - fully expecting to have to stand.

To my delight, a man in the priority seat, seeing a pregnant woman on crutches, gave me his seat immediately & I was really grateful to him!

Unbeknownst to me, Hubby had already "had a word" about him being in a priority seat & his heavily pregnant wife on crutches would need that seat - I had NO idea!!! But I know most people won't stand up unless they're asked, so I was really glad Hubby did.

I'd have stood if I had to, but was more than glad to take the seat - I don't travel by train often & it reminded me why not!


Rab x x

shays_mum

Rab: SPD!, you have my sympathies, i had it twice from 10 weeks onwards & was literally crippled all the way through , but then again, its a good form of birth control - Never again

mr-tom_2

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Perhaps we need another poll - would you (a) travel in sardine conditions, standing if necessary?, or (b) wait for another train if you haven't booked a seat and none are available?

Nice idea, but in my case:

• One of my trains is hourly, so the impact of waiting for the next one is really high. Especially if I can't get to work.
• As a season ticket holder, I am not allowed to book seats.

The_Darkman

PeteW wrote: »

Of course I would, and I'm disgusted that so many people wouldn't, clearly you've never seen how exhausting pregnancy can be - a friend of mine was still commuting when she was heavily pregnant and passed out on a regular basis as !!!!!! on the tube wouldn't give up their seats.

Crowded trains are dangerous places for pregnant women - a friend of my wife lost her baby at 35 weeks when a busy commuter elbowed her bump trying to rush past her. If people had given up their seat that baby would be alive.

That's a sad story mate and I feel real sorry for them. However, this is a one in a million chance and it doesn't change the fact that if you've made the effort and paid the price to obtain something for yourself, it's yours. The principle is sound, but it'd be for one of the other "hope to get lucky with the seat" passengers to do the right thing, not you.

Forsure_2

Just been diagnosed with SPD - my sympathies go to you all !! I also have suffered from pre eclampsia in my past 2 pregnancies and my consultant reckons I will suffer from it again in this pregnancy so will need to be induced at 38 weeksand he has put me on aspirin, have already got 2 children to look after as well, so for all those people who are still saying they wouldnt offer a seat, please think about what you are saying before making a harsh comment.

I hardly ever travel on the train, but I di this morning on my way in to work.. The train was packed and so I did not expect anyone to get up for me ( like the other lady with SPD said ), but the stop after I got on, a lady got up out of her seat to get off ( a seat I was standing next to by the way ), so as I went to sit down a man jumped in it before I could even move ( I am alot slower due to the pain and discomfort of SPD ). I really could have said something, but thought ' whats the point '. he then took out his mobile and proceeded to play on it, knowing full well what he had just done....Oh and I was on crutches too..........

What a lovely guy !:mad: