Working holiday with baby

rjh090384

Hi

This is going to sound really strange. I am feeling totally midlife crisis time at 24! i am fed up with living in this country and just having generally down depressed time and currently on anti depressants. i need to get away but not just for a few weeks. problem is, i have no money cos noone will buy my bloody house. was thinkiong of doing a bit of working and travelling but i have a one year old and she would be coming too.

does anyone have any suggestions where i could do this? my first thought was au pair but i cant seem to find any websites that arent agencies.

at the minuite just me and my baby,...not sure how to broach this subject to hubby until i get some concrete suggestions. but it would be great if he could come too - if not shouldnt be a problem!


thanks i nadvance for you help.

phatbear

Ok gonna try and play devils advocate here, so please dont take offence.

What makes you think that working in a foreign country will be any easier? you will be away from friends and family, and potentialy have to deal with a foreign language too. Ive worked abroad and its far from easy if you are on your own and dont have anyone relying on you, as you do.

I really think you're gona struggle but I wish you all the best with your search.

nico26

I agree with Phatbear finding work abroad will be very hard just now.

I know in Malaysia here they are not renewing some foreigners work visas because someone local should be able to do the job. Unemployment is high everywhere just now.
Having to accomodate a one year old as well would make it even harder. What happens if the wee one is sick and you are unable to go to work? You will really struggle if you have no finances behind you will get yourself in a pickle.

Take it from me as well Its hard ! Being away from family friends.Getting used to different cultures customs and foods .I have my hubby here and financially security and get fed up at times. Everyone says it must be great going to all the different places but once the novelty of a new place wears off.You are just back to a normal routine just like you were at home.

You dont say whether you work at home. If not,why not try and find a wee job at home.It would take you out the house a bit.

I think you need to have a really good talk to someone and get to the root of your depression before making any big decisions. Running away does not always help.

You don't seem to be including your hubby in all of this. I think you need to let him know what you are feeling and thinking. Maybe your marraige is the root of the problem I dont know. Maybe your hubby would like a change as well and you might be able to look for something as a family.

I know its not the advice you were looking for but please think long and hard before making any rash decisions. if you want to talk to a stranger PM me and rant away.

slig

You can do working holidays in Australia, New Zealand and Canada (amongst other places). However, I'm not sure what the situation is with regards to dependants - I suspect you cannot get the visa if you are bringing children, but perhaps look into it. Or you can work anywhere in the EU without needing a visa, but you'll need to speak the language.

Generally the type of work people do on working holidays is bar work, seasonal work, maybe admin, etc. None of which would be suitable if you have a child, as you wouldn't make enough to cover childcare. Au pair work is an interesting idea; if there was a way of setting up a placement in advance and it was one they were happy for you to bring your child, then perhaps it is feasible.

The big issue here is that you are considering this huge life changing decision without yet mentioning it to your husband. Is this the real issue? Do you feel like you've missed out on things because you've settled down quite young? (This might not be true at all, please say if it is not!)

If there was a way of doing this, you will still need substantial funds. I am hoping to do a working holiday in Australia next year. I will be saving up about £5k to bring with me, excluding flights. I think the minimum for the visa is about £2.5k, but I want as much as possible as the economy probably won't have fully picked up by next year so it might be hard finding a job straight away. If I had a baby I would want to bring a lot more, as staying in dorms is out of the question, the baby will need things, what if there's an emergency, etc.

If you would need huge funds for a working holiday anyway, what about doing an extended non-working holiday? You'd have to do a lot of research about travelling with children (there's lots of blogs and books out there), but if this is something you have to do for your own sanity and you can do it without risking the health, safety and wellbeing of your child, then you could spend a month or two travelling. If your husband can't get that much time off work he could join you for two weeks.

The other option is permanant emmigration. As nico says this is not an easy option. But if you and your husband both wanted to get away and live somewhere new, it could be worth considering. But it's not a short term solution - it'd might be years before you could actually go.

What if living abroad doesn't cure your depression? You might end up sad and lonely with no support network, thousands of miles away from home. Are there other issues you need to sort out first?

RedCanadaHat

^ great answer :-)

i don't have a great deal to input but good luck in whatever you decide.

rjh090384

thanks very much! i think i am going to end up just doing amonth or two - have ben looking into au pair work too though...problem is i have a mortgage which needs to be paid and my salry pays this ( i work 3 days a week) i love my hub and am more than happy to have settled down younger and i love my daughter more than words can express - i am suffering from pnd and generally very down and just feel the need to be anywhere but here - i dont have a lot of friends apart from hub and baby and work at the minute is a totally toxic atmosphere (though i am looking for something else). talk to hub a good bit about how i am feeling and he would be happy for me to do some travelling but i dont think i could save up the money i would need to travel plus take two months from work as i need to cover mortgage. gp has advised me to take tioem off work but cant afford to.

sorry for my babbling - hope i am making sense!

Diamond_Olly

If work is getting you down, then how about looking for some voluntary work locally. A change of scene locally might help??

rjh090384

thanks for the suggestion! i wish i had time! between cleaning cooking looking after daughetr and work i get very little time to myself! plus due to childcare it would have to be something i could take my daughter to.

mummytofour

Hello Op.
I am so sorry that you are feeling do down. Depression is a terrible thing to suffer with, I have been there and have the tshirt. I can remember at 24 having 3 under five and sitting on the phone crying to dh while he was at work everyday.

My advice is to take one day at a time it really will get better but you need the support network you have, dh, family work and the things that are familiar to you. Going off to a new place alone when you are not feeling very strong will not help you.

Perhaps you, dh and the baba could have a holiday or a few days away, time to be together somewhere differnt may be very good for you.

rjh090384

thanks but we are so so broke at the minute so holiday isnt relaly an option until next year - it all came to a head its work that i definately the problem and i am so so fed up woth it i just feel like walking out but i havent got anything lined up and am required to give 6 weeks notice.