Adult children as 'lodgers' (long, sorry)

Tamazapan

Id say £300 a month from them is a resonable amont i currently pay that at a friends house to live tehre with her bf and this covers all bills and food!! and then they can save £300 plus a month. :@P

skintchick

I would say to keep food separate - I have never cooked for my lodgers and that way you do feel you have your own lives.

Oldernotwiser

sillylittlejill wrote: »

Just try to be understanding that it is VERY stressful for them both as they have ran their own household and it is difficult getting used to being back with your parents again.



xxx

It can also be very stressful for the parents when adult children return home - these things work both ways!

Personally, I wouldn't do any housework/washing for them and I would eat and buy food separately. This makes it more of a practical arrangement and less of a situation of having a "child" in the home.

Oldernotwiser

Tamazapan wrote: »

Id say £300 a month from them is a resonable amont i currently pay that at a friends house to live tehre with her bf and this covers all bills and food!! and then they can save £300 plus a month. :@P

One would hope that they'd be saving considerably more than this, otherwise they're only saving what they're not spending on living expenses. £300 saving and £300 living expenses would leave large sums over out of a combined income of £31,000. If the parents are putting themselves out in this arrangement then I think that some sacrifices could be made on the part of the young couple.

Putting aside less than £4,000 pa is going to take a long, long time to save a deposit!

Sublime_2

£200 per month, so approx £50 weekly for the both of them. This doesn't include food, although I feel some flexibility can be offered here. Like you said you want them to be able to afford a new place soon, and want to help them out, but need a contribution to cover costs.

Itsgottabedone

On the assumption that you don't want to make a profit out of them nor be out of pocket, how about ...
RENT - Nothing
GAS/ELECTRICITY - They pay the difference between the bill in question and the bill for the same period last year
WATER - Nothing if not on a meter; apply same solution as gas/electricity if you are on a meter
TELEPHONE - They use their mobiles, not your landline
MEALS and OTHER HOUSEHOLD ITEMS - Agree a notional amount (£5 each per day?) to be paid whether or not they eat meals with you on any particular day. If you found the sum to be excessive or insufficient you could adjust it. This is the tricky one to estimate ahead of time, but I'm sure it would soon become clear.

And it would probably be a good idea to agree some sort of timescale with them in advance, just in case it all gets too much for one couple or the other. For example, agree to review matters after three months, and every three months after that? Then, if they slipped into bad habits (living the high life instead of saving!) you could re-focus them!

You deserve thanks for being willing to help the young poeple - here's hoping you'll all have some fun together!

Mark7799

Think differently - charge them something like £500pm, keep the profit and give it back to them after a period of tgime as a gift towards their deposit. That way you're helping them save as well.

dizziblonde

When I went back to live with my parents briefly what I did rather than pay rent was to do a weekly shop of the stuff we burned through at a rate of knots - the reasoning behind doing it that way was that I drove past a large Tesco on the way back from uni, and going to the supermarket was one thing my mother found hard to find the time to do, and that she loathed doing - so I kept the cupboards topped up between her once a month mega-shops.

Glamazon

Mark7799 wrote: »

Think differently - charge them something like £500pm, keep the profit and give it back to them after a period of tgime as a gift towards their deposit. That way you're helping them save as well.

This is actually a good idea especially if they are big spenders. My mum charged my sister £50 per week when she hit 18 - even though it didn't cost Mum anymore than before. Mum saved £30 of this for her and at the end she had a nice lump sum instead of wasting it on clothes, fags, alcohol and nights out!!

ellissa

My OH and I are living with my parents whilst our house purchase is going through. I think how much you charge depends on how long they will be with you. My parents knew when we moved in that it would be for 3 or 4 months (as long as house purchase moves as expected). They decided that they wanted to give us some money towards our house so the best arrangement for paying rent/bills was for us to pay nothing rather than them giving us a lump sum towards our house. This then means that whatever we can save whilst with them (approx £2500 per month because we've cut back on spending also) is like them helping us with our house deposit. This will only work if we are good savers - we want our own house so much that we are saving every penny right now! Of course, if we'd have moved in rent/bills free and then gone out spending every day they would have been hugely insulted and thought we were taking the P out of them! Therefore we have become social recluses and my OH is working every hour of overtime that is offered - I never see him but it's only short term pain for long term gain. I can't do overtime as it's not an option in my job.

However, we do buy our own food and I do the 'between big shop' shops as I pass a supermarket on my way home from work. My parents have said that if we are living with them longer than we originally expected then we would have to review the arrangement. From discussion I know that if we are here longer then they will only charge us the extra on the gas/water/electric bills compared to last year as they are all metered.

It is their choice not to charge us rent and it was their idea for us to move in with them to save money. If it goes on for longer than 3/4 months, they will not be out of pocket as we will top up the bills but equally, they will not charge us rent as they see it as their contribution to our house deposit.

I am not exploiting their generosity, we thank them every day and do as much as poss around the house. They know how much we appreciate it. We know how very lucky we are. My OH found it very difficult at first because he felt he was not paying his way but my parents wouldn't have it any other way and he helps them out around the house/garden as much as he can.

As for ground rules and the practicalities of all living together - set ground rules BEFORE they move in. At the moment it is working well for us but it is the small things that keep it working - cleaning the bath when you've used it, making sure the cars are in the right order on the drive for the morning so that nobody has to move 4 cars to get their own out etc! Don't be selfish - if youre washing youre own car, wash the parents' car too (that's advice for them!). And believe me, it's the small things that irritate you when things go wrong - going to cook your dinner to find you need to wash all the pots from the last 'cook' before you start! lol. Although I'd wash all the pots in my parents cupboards before every meal for what they have done for us - it's my lazy brother's pots I don't enjoy washing! lol. Love him to bits tho!

Good Luck
Ells x