Lonely mum

MX5huggy

Is religion an option? Churches Mosques and Synagogues generally welcome people.

MyRubyRed

Any way your mum can post on here for chats?

FBaby

She will have to accept that in these days and age, people don't come to you, you have to go to them. I was very lonely when I first arrived where I am and it was really hard, but I quickly realised that unless I made the first moves, it would remain like that. The best thing I did was to listen (not too rudely to conversations) and would interject when I would hear someone asking for advice or help with a 'I'm very sorry I was earsdropping, but I heard you were looking for the name of a very good plumber, I happened to have had the help of one recently who was very helpful if you are interested'. At school, I would just approach parents 'hello, I believe you are the mum of x, my boy has been talking about him a lot and I was wondering if you would be ok if he came over to play'. Then when the drop the child 'Would you like a cup of tea before you go' or when they come to pick them up.

It is really hard to do at first, but it does pay off. I have made so many good friends this way, especially as it is then becomes easy to become friends with the friends of friends etc...

Voluntary work is a great way too, I certainly met most of my friends either from my children, or through work.

kazwookie

What about the local library, I 'think' you can get free access on to the internet from there.

She could also ask about different local groups she may be interested in.

She needs to go to gingerbread meetings.

Primrose

If she has a library nearby they often have a noticeboard with local activities, groups, organisations an volunteering opportunities advertised. Presumably her youngest is at school, so she could also see if there's a local branch of the Womens Institute or Townswomens Guild.
Fbaby is right in that if you're lonely, nobody will beat a path to your door. You really have to go out and make your own opportunities. Local churches often have social groups which don't necessarily involve church membership and most charity shops are always looking for volunteers if she has one nearby.

McKneff

May be out of the question but could you possibly get her a cheapie laptop for Christmas and point her to the boards.

wajoda2002

Thank you everyone for your kind words.
She has arthritis in both hands so being on here wouldn't be for any great lenght of time and in her words ''she lieks the sound of her own voice'' unlike me, whenever I mention MSE I always say ''my friends on MSE told me...'':rotfl:
I am going to contact the libary tomorrow as our is open on a sunday and see what they have and pass on your thoughts and suggestions.
Thank you again.....:beer:

wajoda2002

Emmzi wrote: »

search your town on meetup.com and see what there is near you - usually at least a mums and coffee group and a stitch and !!!!! in most places.

Will look into this thank you. Whenever I typed anything in Google it just kept bringing dating sites...was driving me mad!!! :mad:

SailorSam

Perhaps if there is anything like this in her area it will help her get out to meet people,
helping herself and others at the same time.
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Debs1968

Hiya, I too live in the same area as your mum. In Rayleigh (five mins drive from Eastwood) they have a volunteer bureau. Its right next door the the flower shop on the corner of Eastwood Rd & High Road. They are always looking for people to help at various schemes all over Essex, she could just call in and see if anything is suitable for her.

I know a bit how your mum feels though. I moved to Eastwood from East London 8 years ago. In East London I couldn't walk to the paper shop, a three minute walk from my front door, without being stopped for a chat by various neighbours. When I moved to Eastwood I couldnt believe how insular people are here. It took my next door neighbour - who had two little girls of a similar age to mine, nearly a year to talk to me (I had been waving and smiling at her like a loon for quite some time). I had an 8 month old and joined so many different mother & toddler groups that we were hardly in lol. I met a woman through one of those groups who, 8 years on, despite our children being at different schools - we still meet up for coffee and a natter every couple of months. The thing about Eastwood is that it is primarily a very elderly-based neighbourhood, though, obviously that is changing as more and more families move in.

Tell your mum to ask about joining the school PTA - ours is always crying out for new members and are a very friendly group. What about your brother/sister joining brownies/scouts - she could see if they needed any help - i bet she'd be dragged in before she finished offering lol.

Like another poster said, unfortunately she will have to do most of the work until she establishes herself a group of friends. But, hopefully, it will be worth it in the end.

I wish her well

Debs x