6yr old with aversion to Clothes

cannyscot_2

My 6 yr DD hates clothes-she hates socks and pants in particular. She will only wear pants for school and we can spend 20 mins in the morning getting socks on her. Now she hates jumpers and wants to just wear her polo shirt. (it's snowing!)The whole thing is costing me lots of money-new socks,new pants, new sweatshirt -trying to find ones she will wear. It is driving me mad -truly. My other two get thrown out the door in the morning as I spend all my time with the 6yr old. I can't work out if it is behavioural or something else. She has a visual impairment which makes her a bit more tired and grumpy than your av. 6yr old. I have tried cutting back on food additives and giving her vitamins but very little change. She has had mild patches of eczema in the past.-anyone got any ideas before I really lose the plot!

mae

I'm not for one minute suggesting she has this but there is a thread on here about aspergers and a grandmother was asking for advice re her grandchild not wanting to wear particular clothes especially pants...Search under aspergers at the top under chat forums and its a thread called Aspergers and Sensory Disorder..Hope this helps

Becles

Try sending her to school with no socks and jumper on (have a word with teacher first). After spending a day freeling cold, she might put them on quicker in the mornings.

I've marched my two along to school in various states of undress and finished off dressing them in the yard. That sharp cures the problem

wigginsmum

I was going to suggest reading up about Aspergers as well; I know several Aspie kids and adults who are very particularly about clothes (and food, and bedrooms, and routines ...)

rchddap1

Have to agree with Becles. If they refuse to wear socks, pants and jumpers then leave them to it. This could be her way of controlling you.

cannyscot_2

Thanks. When I read the sensory dysfunction info it does seem to be about her. She has a visual impairment which is effectively a sensory disorder so I often excuse a lot of her behaviour as a result of that but??

I just don't like the idea of her being labelled at school. I recently found out that despite the fact she is actually very clever she was put in the bottom set -it is sorted now but it's partly her eye condition which makes her seem a bit stupid-because she is slower and partly her reluctance to go along with the school/social rules of communication /behaviour etc so the sid thing would make sense.

She makes me weep sometimes because she makes life so hard for herself.

Is this Sensory dysfunction recognised in the UK or is it a US thing?

mae

Sorry I don't know anything about it but I think your first port of call would either be a health visitor or doctor to give you the best advice and help..Also some parents insist that they send their children to main stream schools and in alot of cases this is the right thing to do but it always worth visiting special schools and exploring different possibilites because I've read stories were children are much happier once they go to a school were they are not labelled as stupid and completely feel they are being accepted and not labelled. Please don't take offence by any of my comments I am not suggesting for one minute she needs or should go to a special school I just think that as with all children its best to keep our options open and be armed with all the info..And just finally can I say she sounds a lucky girl to have such an understanding, caring ,worried and willing parent. Good Luck with finding out the info you need.

jenniferpa

Some kids are just more sensitive to textures than others (I have one that is and one that isn't). Socks in particular were an issue. She simply hated the way the toe seam felt and I had to be very careful about making sure that this seam lay flat, and that the sock was thin. Labels were also an issue. I think she must have been in her teens before her clothes had any labels on at all. She was (and still is at 20) hypersensitive to food textures and tastes as well. When she was very young, she found the extremely difficult to stick to rules that made no sense to her. Her nursery school teacher tried to tell us that something was wrong with her, so we finally took her for testing. It turned out that her IQ was 150+ and her intellectual developement was such than she was more like a 12 year old trapped in a 5 year old body. It didn't solve the problems, just made them a lot easier to understand. As she grew older she learnt to "play the game", although her tendancy to analyse can be disconcerting at times.

What I'm trying to say is that there are a wide range of "normal" behavours, although you wouldn't know it sometimes from the way the educational system deals with it. I know it's difficult when your child seems to be marching in the opposite direction to everyone else, but the most important thing to remember (and I know you know this) is that you need to be her advocate and first and foremost accept her and support her as she is. It's a lesson I learnt the hard way with my children. I got it right with DD, and not so right with DS, who has other issues. It's taken several years to get him back on track and we're not entirely there yet, but that's another story.

A book I found most useful is called "Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic"
by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka

Jennifer

P.S. The pants and jumper thing? I was that child! I suspect that some aspects of this may be inherited, which is why I never found the clothing issue to onerous.

cannyscot_2

jenniferpa-Thank you that was a lovely post, that is exactly it she is always marching in the opposite direction. She is such a confusing child for me but also for the teachers. I was shocked at first when I discovered about the bottom set -I wondered why she was bringing home baby work as she is bright and at home would do quite difficult sums etc by herself but after I calmed down I realised she is very difficult to fathom. Now they have worked out that she just shut down becuase the work was so easy they have accelerated her up to the top section and fast tracked her on 2 levels. We always have some challenge to face with her and I just keep wondering if there is something I am missing. I was after this morning's chat wondering about having her tested /see a specialist privately so I might go ahead with that.


-and of course having a visual impairment also throws people-even teachers who don't always understand that she can't see even with glasses. In order to focus she puts her head to one side and it looks a bit strange and clumsy.


It's a challenge but that's motherhood.

andycarmi

HI. Its sounds like she needs desensitizing to these items. She is over-sensitive to them. I have seen this behaviour before in children.

You need to make some time when you have no interuptions, start by her just touching the socks, when she touches them she gets a reward, (what ever she likes) Ie smaties. (Don't give smaties for anything else.) Then when she does this move on get her to put the socks on the toes - rewarding the smallest achievment, move on until she has the socks complety on! Its takes time.

Also get her used to things touching her feet,
songs like Round and round the garden, This little piggy went to market... Get her to do it to you too!!!
Tickling games,
Painting Hands and Feet and printing them on paper,
Walking in sand, drawing partterns with your toes...


Good Luck. x

Liquorice_Twirls

My son has been pretty fussy about what he will wear from very small. He hates seams in socks and any stitching on a garment that comes through to the underneath like a logo on a top. We've had to give away so many lovely things over the years that we've just come to accept this is how he is. If he didn't like spicy food we wouldn't serve him curry all the time just so he would get used to it. Accepting that he was like this took the stress out of the situation. Everyone is different and maybe these little differences make us who we are.

Good Luck