Bank is throwing money at my son!

EverDecreasingCircles

This is a bit of a vent really but if anyone has any advice it would be much appreciated.

DS is 21 and has a Lloyds TSB loan for £4500. Lloyds wrote to him recently offering him a 'top-up' which, with interest, brings the total amount he'll owe to just under £13,000 :eek:

He doesn't manage his money well at all, goes up to his £500 overdraft limit every month and twice has exceeded it (he banks with Lloyds too). He borrows money of us most months and never has enough to pay for things like his road tax or MOTs or repairs to his car etc.

I'm just sooooo angry with Lloyds for keep offering him more and more money. His income is ok but he lives way beyond it.

Sorry to go on, just so upset about this. DH and I don't borrow money or run up credit cards so it's totally unfamiliar to us.

EDC

copier_guy

There is not an awful lot you can do. Just hope he makes the right decision.

When your young its easy to see it as 'free money'

lf846

Similar thing happened to me when I was his age (not too long ago). I had accounts with 4 banks, loans with others and many credit cards. As a student and shortly after banks just couldn't stop giving me money.
I can honestly say I had NO understanding of the value of it and the reality of the situation. I got very heavily in debt and it has taken a few very hard years recently to sort it out.
To be honest there is little you can do except let him make his own mistakes. My only advice would be give as little help as you can. Even if it seems harsh at the time. A few hard learnt lessons now may stop further problems. Being constantly bailed out didn't really help me, it just taught me there was always a way out i.e. further debt.

Gorgeous_George

You could prepare a letter for your son to send to Lloyds. Something along the lines of:

Dear Lloyds

Please stop trying to sell me debt. If you persist in offering me further loans I shall move my account elsewhere.

Regards



GG

pogofish

lf846 wrote: »

To be honest there is little you can do except let him make his own mistakes. My only advice would be give as little help as you can. Even if it seems harsh at the time. A few hard learnt lessons now may stop further problems. Being constantly bailed out didn't really help me, it just taught me there was always a way out i.e. further debt.

I would second this as very good advice - IME, you really don't learn the value of money till you are right up against it.

Robert_Sterling

Young and foolish.

angelicmary85

Hiya,

If he's had his LBM, could you not ask him to post his SOA on DFW and maybe he's listen if people closer to his age could give him some advice? He may not be listening as he doesn't want to 'get a lecture from the old dutch'?

CompletelyLost

At 21 he is old enough to know what he is doing, to make his own decisions, and therefore face the consequences (should there be any). Leave him to it.

I wouldn't go blaming the banks in this instance either - they are a business, trying to make money, noone is forcing him to take the credit that they are offering.

This is coming from a fellow 21-year old

Sol00

I agree, you can't blame the banks for this one, and I do not like banks at all.

They can't see how he's managing at home and they will be basing this on the repayments he's currently making.

The only thing you can really do is warn him of the consequences of his non-payment.

iceicebaby

He's an adult and able to make his own decisions. Just don't bail him out if he comes unstuck or he will never learn

Zelie

Whilst I agree with those saying that the OP's son is responsible for his own money I am not in the camp that says the banks are only running a business. From the month I turned 18 I was inundated with phone calls telling me about fabulous loans. I kept saying I wasn't really interested but (being brought up to be polite) I answered their questions about vague aspirations I had to buy things. Which only led to more phonecalls saying 'You told us you want to buy a car, are you ready to do that yet?'.

For somebody not used to the hardsell it was difficult to know how to get rid of them without just capitulating. When a business is so hard-nosed and refuses to take no for an answer they must take some responsibility for the problems their debtors might then face.

That's neither here nor there to the OP though! OP, it might be worth you and his dad sitting him down for a general chat about money. Give him the tools to get himself out of debt and explain the impact not repaying debts can have on future plans. After that you just have to let him get on with it.

Oh and stop bailing him out. If there are no consequences to his actions then how can he learn?