Do you think this will look cheap?

*Louise*

floss2 wrote: »

If she has expressed little desire to wear it again then she should expect not to have the dress available to her....get them onto Ebay!

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I agree - sell them on and get some money back on them.

As for buying her blimmin underwear....I'm speechless at that one!! :eek:

MsConfused

Thanks everyone. She's my best friend, but I am painting a more negative picture than it really is. She has said she'll have things that makes me happy, and the shoes thing I think was more the fact that they looked a bit uncomfy. We haven't actually got the dresses yet - just seen the ones we like, so we're gonig to look properly in a few wks. I'll see how she reacts when we actually have the dresses and then take it from there. I haven't actually said Im paying for their hair and makeup yet, and I think you're right that she could probably do her own.

Thank you all for your responses - and honestly, I'm making it sound much worse than it is! I think she just has that traditional image in her head of how it works. My parents are paying for a lot of the wedding, including my dress, so I think that's also why she believes that the bride buys everything for the bridesmaids.

We're still a long way off (next year) so I'm sure it will all work out ok.

MsConfused

Oooh, can't keep up with reponses! lol

No Herbiecat, you are not out of line at all. I appreciate your honesty, and it makes it better for me, as I don't really know what the etiquette for all this is. I feel bad as I have only said the negative things which does make it look worse than it is, but you've all given me some good ideas on how I should be looking at the situation. Thanks all.

bluezone

flaming hell! Are you sure you want her to be your bridesmaid? Mine are doing their own hair wearing their own underwear and buying their own shoes. I have paid for the dress 70 us dollars each and paid £10 for a tiara and necklace each ( i have 6 bridemaids - big family!)
I would just say like the others have said that she can keep the dress as her present. To be honest I would tell her that it would be best for her to buy her own shoes

kelda_shelton

esh.. she sounds like a bit of a bridesmaid zilla.

My friends have offer to pay for part of their dress if they go for an expensive one.. ie the difference between it and Landy prices, and I feel bad about that..
and I'm still trying to steer them towards Landy, but what they said was.....

If you hadn't asked us to be bridesmaids, we'd still be coming anyway and buying a new outfit etc etc...

MsConfused

I also thinks its just coz its new. Hopefully when I sit down and ask her to help me out with the budget she'll realise how expensive these thing are. I honestly thinks its ignorance rather than spite so should work out fine. Good point Kelda about needing to buy an outfit anyway - might use that one if need be!

Horace

What a cheeky mare - if I were you I'd let her pay for her own dress etc. Friend or no friend to be honest with you. Sure she may be nice in some areas but otherwise she is not - its your day and you choose how its done not her, in fact why bother having her as a bridesmaid at all - just have one instead and you can put any money that you would have spent on her dress towards the deposit for the house.

HTH and good luck.

Tigerlilley1980

OMG. Who is your bridesmaid. Firstly I would tell her that she should share the cost and that you will only pay for her dress, shoes, tiara, and other neccessary items such as the bolero. Secondly find some pics of dresses you like and get onto milly or Landy and email them for prices. Mine are costing £40 each for the dresses. Next go to Ebay and buy the shoes from there, you can get some really good shoes very cheaply on there. Thirdly remind her that it is your day and not hers and if she wants to take part then to stop being so demanding. Tiger x

prettypoppyknickers

i agree with the necklace as a thank you gift.

my bridemaids (there 4 of them) couldn't decided on dresses when all i wanted was simple 50's prom dresses so i gave them 24 hours to pick 2 dresses each and then i would decided.

and i made them choose from landy and ebay god i'm evil hehe i just didn't see the point in spending lots of money on something they are only going to wear once theyre dresses are going to be under 60 pounds and there shoes 20 pounds and there necklaces i'm going to choose will be under 10 pounds. make up they can do them selves and the same with the hair as they are going to have there hair down with a few little curls through it which i know they can all do.

and the hankie idea is lovely!

MsConfused

Thanks guys. My other bridesmaid Kelly has been really supportive too, so I think when we start shopping properly it will all be fine.