Do you think this will look cheap?

MsConfused

Edited: Thanks for all your help everyone. Now getting rid of this to destory the evidence!

sparklylime

You could always tell the bridesmaid that her thank you gift is being able to keep the dress, shoes etc afterwards.

davetrousers

It's your day not her's!

MsConfused

Well I did hint that she's keeping the dress so that should be a huge part of her thank you pressie, saying "Obviously as long as its in the colour scheme, I want you to choose the dress you like so you can wear it again" and had the response "Why would I want to wear a bridesmaid dress again?". I did feel like shouting "Well give it back to me so I can sell it and get my money back then!!" but stopped myself! lol - Sorry I'm making her sounsd horrible, and she really is lovely - just a bit snobby when it comes to having expensive things and has this thing about me being rich because I'm thrifty - I don't think she realises that's all about to be spent on a house deposit!

Sorry Davetrousers, posted before seeing yours. She has been really good in other areas, and I know Im being too weak, but she's my best mate so don't want to cause tension between us.... plus Im a wimp at controversy! But thanks for the peptalk - I know I need to start being stronger.

So do you think the handkerchief's a rubbish idea guys?

MsChazzer

I got mine some jewellery rolls, they were about £8 each, I think a small keepsake present is fine but then mine aren't really having to do anything apart from turn up and look pretty. They've picked their own dresses within the colour scheme from places like Coast, Debenhams and Phase Eight.

I have to say that unless a bridesmaid is paying for the outfit herself she can't really be too fussy. Obviously you want to get her things she likes and looks good in, but it is your money after all. I think if you're paying for their jewellery though then that's their thank you gift.

MsConfused

Thanks MsChazzer. I think you are all right - I should emphasise that all the stuff Im getting is as a present not a "right" of bridesmaids. You've all made me feel less mean!

floss2

MsConfused wrote: »

.......Anyway, my point is if I buy all these do I have to get them a thank you pressie aswell? It's looking like each bridesmaid is going to cost me £300 as it is

How does that £300 on each compare to the £s you will be spending on yourself?? Personally I would suggest that as they will be having the dresses for wearing afterwards (if that is the type of dress you have chosen) then they should cover some of the incidentals like new shoes & knickers while you cover the dress, jewellery & bolero as you wish them to match (can she not do her own face?)

MsConfused wrote: »

.......so I was thinking as a thank you pressie I might just embroider them a handkerchief as a keepsake. Do you think this looks cheap though? I thought this way I may be able to get away with cheaper jewellery - what do you think?

I think it sounds lovely - personalised & unique, who could wish for a nicer thank-you gift.

*Louise*

Or.....

Sort out all the dress and things but hold off on the jewellery. Then on the morning of the wedding hand over the jewellery in a wrapped parcel as a 'Thank you' gift then. (along with the hankie which I think is a lovely personal touch x) That way you don't have to buy something seperate.

I think it's shocking that she is being so damn demanding, I'm not sure I would want someone so awkward being my bridesmaid - is she a relative or best friend??

I really think you need to put her straight that you are on a set budget and can't be throwing £300+ about like it's not important

floss2

MsConfused wrote: »

...... saying "Obviously as long as its in the colour scheme, I want you to choose the dress you like so you can wear it again" and had the response "Why would I want to wear a bridesmaid dress again?". I did feel like shouting "Well give it back to me so I can sell it and get my money back then!!" but stopped myself! lol .........

If she has expressed little desire to wear it again then she should expect not to have the dress available to her....get them onto Ebay!

MsConfused wrote: »

...... has this thing about me being rich because I'm thrifty - I don't think she realises that's all about to be spent on a house deposit!

Maybe you should sit her down & tell her that? She may change her tune if she knows where your savings are going if not on the wedding (as she probably thinks).

floss2

*Louise* wrote: »

Or.....

Sort out all the dress and things but hold off on the jewellery. Then on the morning of the wedding hand over the jewellery in a wrapped parcel as a 'Thank you' gift then. (along with the hankie which I think is a lovely personal touch x) That way you don't have to buy something seperate.

This sounds like a great plan to me.......

Herbiecat

Sorry MsConfused I hope you dont think im out of order here but I would tell her that shes a cheeky mare!

Im having my 2 best friends as 2 of my bridesmaids, they are buying their own dresses and paying for their own shoes, knickers, bras & hairdos, all im buying is their tiars (£5ish) and the flowers. They both know im trying to do a wedding on a very tight budget and are doing all they can to help me.

I'm getting married abroad and they are even paying for their own flights and accomodation.

I think you have to be upfront with her for your own piece of mind.

I hope I havent upset you because I think you have enough stress without me adding to it xxx