Possible Disability Living Allowance for child

bluebird36

Hello,

sorry, I have asked this before in my diary, but thought I repeat the question with a bit more detail, to see if some more of you have been in a similar situation or know how best to proceed.

My son (who is 10)has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (Autistic Spectrum Disorder) last week. Part of his disability are terrible anger and rage outbursts, where he breaks many things or inflicts damage to the (rented) house, eg kicks in doors, rips out light fittings or plug sockets.

I have been told that I can apply for DLA for him, but not for a carer's allowance for myself as I am working. The money would then be used to repair things he has broken or to purchase books about his condition, or for days out, or possibly a change in diet (casein free seems to help some children) or anything else to make his and our life as a family a bit happier. It would not always be the same things or the same amounts spent.

My question is if the OR will be using my son's DLA money to calculate an IPA if this money would bring me over the £99 limit. The other income I have comes from CT, WTC, CB and my wages. I just think that would be very unfair, as it is meant to help my child, who would effectively be punished for my bad money managment pre BR (which will take place on 28 April)
Also, if I put a claim in for DLA, I have been told that it may take quite a long time to be processed and awarded (some people had to wait almost a year). If he would then receive a lumpsum, would the OR take that of him?

I hope some of you may have any ideas or experience with DLA money for a child and can advise me what to do for the best, eg claim or wait until discharge to claim..

Thank you!

aproblemshared

OR has not taken my son's DLA into consideration at all, it was ignored because its not mine its his.

As a side issue it is very difficult claiming for Aspergers via DLA. They are very sceptical about the condition and think its banded around to easily in lieu of ADHD. My son is on the autistic spectrum with aspergers tendencies but don't expect much from DLA, my son gets the lowest rate.

bluebird36

Thank you for your quick reply,

this puts my mind at ease a bit. Yes, I know about the difficulties about Asperger's DLA and do not expect much anyway, but it is worth a try. Our situation is so bad, that I may loose my job over it, as my son is getting excluded from After School Club on a regular basis.
He just cannot cope with the social structures and perceives other children in the wrong way. He is particularly bad in big group situations and turns his stress into anger. I thought for a long time that he may suffer from ADHD, but that has been ruled out.
Just glad that the possibility is there that the OR will not touch it, as we really could do with the extra, just to off set all the damage caused and the income lost when I once again need to pick him up and leave work... x

debt_doctor

Thats a diificult position to be in and must take all of your strength. Certainly if DLA is awarded for your child then the OR cannot claim it.

DD

bluebird36

Thanks again, so relieved... Do I need to inform OR if my son gets awarded any DLA? I presume if he would get any, that this would be well into my BR as I am at the beginning of all this and have not even got the forms yet...
Do I need anotherr SOA then or will they just say, it is not yours, forget about it...???
Many thanks for your input!

debt_doctor

My thoughts are that all income that could possibly affect an IPA or an amount to be claimed as an asset needs to be informed. So I would say that you should inform, yes.

If any of that money were attempted to be taken from you (not that I think it will, including any lump sum back date) then post back on here, and definately PM me.

DD

bluebird36

Again, thank you! I feel a lot more confident now, and will look into the claim process. Will keep you updated and am grateful for your offer to pm you if difficulties arise dd!

Happy Easter to all of you.:p

debtfreenewbie

HI there, when you get the dla forms, think of the worse situations with your child. There are webpages which can help you fill the forms in. They tell you to put down everything you need to do EXTRA with your child that you wouldnt normally. With my son its more time as he has to be supervised constantly and we are always having to mend things. There are extra bits you can claim for too, the cinema card is a good one. https://www.cea.com.
Good luck with it all.

tmcd01

Just to let you know, i get higher DLA for my son (cerebral palsy) and we didnt even include it as an income on the SOA. Mentioned it to OR but she not interested as the money is technically his and is neither means tested nor a taxable income. It does mean that things are much more managable post BR than for some people. Its one of those things - feel lucky to have the money, but would rather not have it (if that makes sense!!).

Tim

bluebird36

Thank you for your kind replies.

I am just still in between non believe and actual relief after the diagnosis. My son's behaviour was/is so extreme, but for years people (like the school, friends, other parents...) were implying that if I only would be stricter, or using a 'starchart', or not be divorced.... that he would not behave this way.

Nobody seemed to think that I have also a wonderful daughter, who behaves politely, is kind to others, learns well at school, is popular, helpful and generally well brought up. By me!

I approached the GP, the school, and various other professionals over the years and was always sent away after some condescending remarks along the lines of 'boys will be boys'. Meanwhile the behaviour became worse and worse. He is emotionally like a 3 year old (scared, unpredictable, quick tempered) in the body of a 10 year old (tall, strong, academically intelligent) who does not understand other people's point of view.
He is also sensitive to loud noises, certain textures on his skin, mostly only eats cold food....
The texture problem will show when wearing clothes. IHe insists on wearing certain schooluniforms, will not put on others and may destroy anything he feels is uncomfortable on him by just ripping it or cutting it.:mad:

And when he falls into a rage (which can now happen several times a day) nopossession is safe. I currently own 3 glasses, all others have been smashed.The hoover was thrown down the stairs and broke. The last washing machine was kicked to death... I think you get the picture....:eek:

It is very, very hard for me and my daughter to go through this every day. I hardly sleep, as he also suffers from sleeping difficulties and needs constand supervision. I work to earn enough money and pay all bills.
Many of the things I bought on the catalogue or on my credit card were replacements, for broken things. I lost £1000 deposit on my last rental property, due to the damage he inflicted...:eek:
I think I also spent some money to make myself feeel better at times, not huge amounts, a CD here, some books there, new shoes... but it all sums up.

I just cannot go on like this anymore. The impending BR is a first step to try and turn things around. My son's diagnosis will hopefully enable us to manage his condition as best as possible, even if this means earning less money. I know we can be happy on a small income, as long as we have enough to survive and time to repair all the broken things...

I am grateful to you for all your tips regarding DlA. I will contact the National Autistic Society and ask for help with the forms, as I have heard from several people now that they are very complex. :A

We have another consultant appointment this afternoon and I hope that the medication can be adjusted.

Wow - this was a long rant! I apologize.... is there a way to add all this to my diary? seems a shame to not add it to it... Anyway, thanks for listening! xx

JG1984

our son is diagonsed with autism hes 4 now, just had to put in his renewal forms and then br the week after my poor brains gone to pot , i didnt include his dla as household income but will be informing the or when i have interview about it. i did include my own dla as income but i also put the same amount as outgoings.

have a look at asdfriendly.org theres a lot of help on there with regards to asd and dla forms, now we just have the fun part of waiting. waiting time is typically between 8-12 weeks from my personal experience