Non-biological's dad rights after divorce

Princess_Jane

Hello all,

my male friend's divorce has just gone through.

I don't really understand the legals but he says it was all instigated by his now ex-wife, on the grounds they had lived apart for two years, which again he says was her decision.

He has just told me today that he isn't the biological dad of his eight-year-old daughter and his ex has told him she won't let him see the little girl any more.

My friend is completely devastated as he brought the little one up since she was a year old, bio daddy isn't on the scene and she is the only dad she has ever known.

CA have told him he has no rights as adoption process was talked about but never started.

I have advised him to keep trying, writing letters to his daughter and keeping copies, send presents for birthdays, Xmas etc and to put money away in an account for her.

That way, when/if she comes looking for him in later life, he can prove he never stopped loving her.

BTW I have no reason to think the wife is keeping the kid away from him because of violence or abuse - he seems genuinely broken-hearted and doesn't know what her motives are.

Advice please..

faye6174

Bumping your post.

In addition, my partner has just gone through divorce and I'M NO EXPERT but the arrangements for children must be sorted before a judge will grant a divorce, even if the child is not biologically his. They are called 'children of the family' (or something like that)

Hope this helps!

puddy

is this in the UK?

if so, he goes to court, completes an application for contact called a c100. she will need to explain to the court why she doesnt want him to have contact, the court may either order a report by CAFCASS or make an order for contact without it (rare).

during that report, CAFCASS will want to focus on the impact on the child of mother refusing for 'father' to see her, where does this child think the father has gone, does the child know that the father is not her real father, did she ever think he was the father. social workers will not look well on a mum that does that, the emotional impact of lies and deceits on children is huge. she will need to do som work to resolve this for her daughter.

UKTigerlily

My Stepdad had to take his ex Wife to court as her two kids weren't biologically his & he was allowed to still have them at weekends, take them on holiday & to be in all intents & purposes their Dad. Their 'real' Dad lives in Liverpool & they never see him & always called my Stepdad 'Dad', so yes it can be done! My Stepdad's ex Wife didn't want him seeing them but the court ruled he was ok to carry on as normal, I think they were both under 2 when he met or Married their Mum & 5 & 6 when they split/Divorced! It's great he still wants to see his Daughter x

Princess_Jane

Thanks so much.

Just told my friend and he is overjoyed that there is a ray of hope.

I've found details for our local county court, but the HMCS doesn't say if it does family work, just divorce.

But he's got the number, and the number for our local CAFCASS office.

I'll keep you updated.

Princess_Jane

[QUOTE=UKTigerlily;20660991}_It's_great_he_still_wants_to_see_his_Daughter_x[/QUOTE]

Yes it makes such a change from deadbeat dads.

He says whatever happens she will be his daughter, even if he never sees her from now until he dies, he'll never stop loving her.

Nearly had me in tears in Starbucks!

UKTigerlily

Awww he sounds fantastic & as I always say, the Dad isn't the sperm doner but the man that brings the child up, loves it & cares for it! My Stepsiblings at 5&6 were maybe too young to say what they wanted but he wasn't going to let the Ex stop him seeing them & really why on earth would any Mum want to stop her child seeing their dad so long as he's good to the child?? To me it can only be a good thing! But it's maybe 20 years now since my Stepdad had to get access to his kids & so i'm sure it's come on even more nowdays & courts will be even more in favour of keeping contact up! I'm sure he'll get access, good luck x

puddy

also, it wasnt clear, but if he always thought he was the biological dad and was put on the birth certificate, or was married to her when the child was born, he will have PR, thats parental responsibility. it means that he has equal 'rights' (although the children act never talks in terms of the parents rights, its about the childs rights to family relationships and contact) to the mother, he has to have a say in her health, education and other decisions affecting her welbeing. she is not allowed to exclude him.

if he always knew that she was not his child AND is not on the birth cert, then ignore that bit

a good website is 'families need fathers' they are not like fathers for justice, they offer really good advice about representing yourself in court and completing the right forms etc

Princess_Jane

jenner wrote: »

also, it wasnt clear, but if he always thought he was the biological dad and was put on the birth certificate, or was married to her when the child was born, he will have PR, thats parental responsibility. it means that he has equal 'rights' (although the children act never talks in terms of the parents rights, its about the childs rights to family relationships and contact) to the mother, he has to have a say in her health, education and other decisions affecting her welbeing. she is not allowed to exclude him.

if he always knew that she was not his child AND is not on the birth cert, then ignore that bit

a good website is 'families need fathers' they are not like fathers for justice, they offer really good advice about representing yourself in court and completing the right forms etc

My friend is completely devastated as he brought the little one up since she was a year old, bio daddy isn't on the scene and she is the only dad she has ever known.

he never thought he was the dad, no, but thanks for the info ' bout families need fathers.

puddy

in that case the courts will want to know from mum what effect she thinks that taking that relationship away from the child, will have on the child, if the dad has been there since she was small, the child knows no other paternal relationship, therefore this relatonship between her and your friend is hugely important and to take that away means the child will be suffering significant loss.

IF for whatever reason, mum states that there have been incidents of violence, abuse whatever, he will need to ask the court for a finding of fact hearing, so that mother will then have to provide evidence of this

Princess_Jane

I just wanted to say a HUUUUUUUUGE thanks to everyone who contributed to this thread.

My pal and his little girl are now re-united.

He wrote his ex a letter, very nicely worded, containing all of the points you clever lot made re the law.

She contacted him and they have agreed access. Said she never intended to deprive him of seeing the kid forever, but blamed "illness and stress".

Anyway, he is sooo happy and hopefully things will continue as they are, but if they don't, he knows what to do.

You have really made a difference to the lives of one doting dad and his little girl.