a bad situation

loopylisa

hi this is a long one but i really need some advice...well here goes
my parents split up and my mother moved into a council house when still owning hers and my fathers so i came to the rescue and took my mothers name off and mine name in her place. great stuff early inhertence!!! but then my father meet someone and moved her in after 2 months and now hes asked me to take my name off so he can put hers on (what i refuse to do!!!) so now he said he will write a will stating that she will get all his pensions ect and i get his other half of the house but his new girlfriend con live there untill she dies. shes only 43 and very fit and active. i dont mind her stopping there but what if i should need to sell the house or rent it out for an income??? i know this sounds awful but he hardly knows herits just someone he meet in a nightclub (hes 50 going on 20!!!) he thinks the sunshines out of her a**e!! dont get me wrong shes lovley but we dont know her. before she met him she was strugling to pay her rent and never been abroad and now shes got 3 pensions a house to live in til she dies and there going away again for the 2nd time abroad!!!! ive tried talking to my father but he just threatens not to talk to me or his grandchildren!!! some advice needed please
thanks for "listening"

Bossyboots

Firstly, did your mother get a court order giving her a share of his pension when they divorced? If she did then that will take precedence anyway. If she did not, she needs to check whether it is too late to do so. Why did your mother not get her share of the property when they split up or did you pay your mother's share to her. I am guessing not as you consider that to be your inheritance. You mum really needs to make sure her own position is secure before anything else. I know you have summarised the position but it doesn't sound as if things have been done properly in regard to your parents' divorce. This may be important in relation to this property.

Secondly, ultimately what he chooses to do with HIS money is his choice and this is not yours by right so if he wants to leave it to her that is up to him. I can understand your concern but his pensions are really nothing to do with you but they could be important to your mum.

Lastly, I am not entirely sure he can do what he is proposing in relation to the house. You can leave a whole house to someone with a lifetime interest to someone else to live in it, but I don't think he can dictate what happens with your share so he can't make a will allowing someone to live in property he technically does not own. How do you hold the shares, as tenants in common or joint tenants? This would become important to your mother or future spouse if you were to die before your father. There is of course nothing stopping him leaving his half of the house to this woman anyway and in addition, whatever will he makes now he can change later.

As for him threatening not to talk to you or his grandchildren, thats just cutting off his nose to spite his face and he will lose out more than you or the children. Although grandparents are important, the children will still have you and that will be more important to them.

rchddap1

Certainly a difficult situation and one that is hard to find a solution to. From my point of view I see that you have been given a stake in the house in place of your father paying her off. If this were me I would certainly resist simply handing my 'inherited' half of the house back to him. I would probably suggest that if he wants the whole house in his name the best way forward would be to get the house formally valued and for him to pay me 50% of that value. My arguement would be that this half of the house rightly belonged to my mother or myself in her place after the divorce and so he cannot demand that it is simply handed over to him without the appropriate financial compensation.

As for the 'living in the house until she dies'....the point above is a good one. As you own 50% of the house he cannot dictate what happens to that 50%. Whether this means that this particular part of the will cannot be enforced is only something that a lawyer can answer....and so you will need to get advise on this bit.

I can understand you wanting to use the house for income upon your father's death....but there are more important things. If your father is 50 then he may not die for another 40 to 50 years! My grandfather is 91 and is still going strong. As for your father's girlfriend being 'only 43'.....the age difference between my partner and myself is 7 years, and I know there are couples out there with a difference greater than that.

From what I read in your message it sounds as if there are relationship issues between your father and yourself. The situation you have outlined is simply a symptom....if you want to stop things like this happening again you have to resolve the cause...your relationship with your father.

Its not only important for you and your children but also for your father. Perhaps he loves her so much that he simply cannot bear to be without her and this is his way to trying to explain it to you. Just because she comes into the relationship with nothing it doesn't mean that she's only out for as much money as she can get.

My OH came into our relationship with an ex-wife, 2 daughters a few debts + a few extra 'bonuses' as time went on. He's a manual worker at the time and I had just come out of University and was on a graduate scheme. What I had didn't matter to him one little bit....and what he had didn't matter to me. It was important to me that I shared what I had with him....and if I did die first I would want him to take whatever I had.

The message is simple...don't write the girlfriend off as someone simply looking for a bank account just because she wasn't doing so well. And try to work on your relationship with your father and his new partner for the future.

madmumatuk

I hope your mother received the financial portion of the house before she took her name off it. If she hasn't had a financial settlement she can go to court and receive one. If she doesn't work then she may very likely get legal aid.

As for your father wanting to give the remainder of his money to someone else. Very sad for you, but there is no law saying parents have to give their inheritance to their kids and a lot of kids would be much better off if they stopped counting on their inheritance! My brother-in-law made things really difficult recently for my father-in-law when he met a younger woman (He's 60, she's 33, so I wouldn't be too worried about your dad's new girlfriend!) - and he doesn't even have the advantage of being on speaking terms with his mother! It was all because he thought she was just after his money, not that he's rolling in it! The rest of the family thought she was very down to earth and kind and normal, but because brother in law didn't even give her a chance she left rather than cause family strife. Very sad situation all round.

loopylisa

hi thanks all . im not bothered about the age thing theres a big difference between my and my OH my main concern is the house situation. my mother gave it to my as an ealy inheritence so i wont take my name off but can he say who lives there after he dies? weve never really got on myself and my father we are just polite to each other!! thanks again