Rude Shop Keeper...ethical questions

ecoelle

Hi, i am a bit startled as i think i may have just been called a racist? The conversation went like this

Me: Hello, i came into your store a couple of days ago to try a wedding dress and i just had a few questions i wanted to ask about where the dresses come from

Shop keeper: No-one has ever asked me that before. Why do you want to know?

Me: We are trying to keep our wedding as ethical as possible so i was wondering if you could tell me where the dresses are made.

SK: Do you ring Zara and H and M and ask them these questions?

Me: No, but i don't tend to shop there. All i wanted to know is if your dresses are made ethically

SK: Are you suggesting that because we are an indian shop we would employ children to work on our dresses for no money?

Me: No, not at all, i just wanted to know where your dresses are produced,we are trying to buy products for our wedding which support worers and even our food is going to be local and ethical, i did not mean to offend you or suggest that your dresses are produced in sweatshops, i just wanted to know where they are made that's all.

She then went on the sompare their prices to the prices of dresses in other shops, and tell me about how you can buy the exact same bag in Primark and Next and all sorts.

I feel really upset about this, i try to live nicely, don't like offending people and i feel like she has totally misunderstood what i was asking. Do you guys think it is unreasnable to ask where clothes are produced? I do really like the dress but i was actually really upset by her reactionn to my question which has now lead me to think that maybe they have something to hide, i don't know. What do you guys think.

Is it ok to ask these questions and if so is there a better way i could have asked them?

~*Plushroom*~

ecoelle wrote: »

Hi, i am a bit startled as i think i may have just been called a racist? The conversation went like this

Me: Hello, i came into your store a couple of days ago to try a wedding dress and i just had a few questions i wanted to ask about where the dresses come from

Shop keeper: No-one has ever asked me that before. Why do you want to know?

Me: We are trying to keep our wedding as ethical as possible so i was wondering if you could tell me where the dresses are made.

SK: Do you ring Zara and H and M and ask them these questions?

Me: No, but i don't tend to shop there. All i wanted to know is if your dresses are made ethically

SK: Are you suggesting that because we are an indian shop we would employ children to work on our dresses for no money?

Me: No, not at all, i just wanted to know where your dresses are produced,we are trying to buy products for our wedding which support worers and even our food is going to be local and ethical, i did not mean to offend you or suggest that your dresses are produced in sweatshops, i just wanted to know where they are made that's all.

She then went on the sompare their prices to the prices of dresses in other shops, and tell me about how you can buy the exact same bag in Primark and Next and all sorts.

I feel really upset about this, i try to live nicely, don't like offending people and i feel like she has totally misunderstood what i was asking. Do you guys think it is unreasnable to ask where clothes are produced? I do really like the dress but i was actually really upset by her reactionn to my question which has now lead me to think that maybe they have something to hide, i don't know. What do you guys think.

Is it ok to ask these questions and if so is there a better way i could have asked them?

I don't think there is anything wrong with what you asked, the shopkeeper was being rather OTT there. All you wanted to know was if their dresses were made following ethical guidelines - the fact that they acted like that towards the questions suggests they may not be.

I personally would take my custom elsewhere after that incident as I'd feel like I was encouraging their behaviour - plus I'd be a little worried by the fact that they didn't answer the question on if it was ethically produced.

rainmac

I think it's fine to ask where things are from/made and from your conversation above you were friendly and polite about it. I know they are different products but I always want to know where my food comes from in order to reduce air miles etc. I think the shopkeeper was either in a bad mood or is someone who takes offence at everything. I really wouldn't worry about it and wouldn't let it put me off asking the same question again.

ecoelle

Thank you for replying, she did seem to rather over react. I don't understand why she didn't just say, sorry i don't know, or yes they are produced in... I just feel really bad, i'm now searching the oxfam bridal shops to see what they have.

Dave101t

i think the shop keeper was shocked you found out their dirty secret....

southernscouser

Blatantly came from a sweatshop.

elsien

I think it's ok to ask, if it's something that is important to you.
Perhaps they would have taken it differently if you'd said you do check with other places so they didn't feel it was just them - I've asked questions in Tesco before now. I don't think you were being all all racist, but I can understand them getting the hump if you inadvertantly gave the impression that you were singling them out.

The only thing I would say (and this applies to any shop) is how can you be sure that the answer you are given is truthful? They could give you all sorts of assurances and be lying through their teeth.
Good on you though for thinking about where the clothes come from - it's one of my good resolutions that tends to evaporate when I spot a bargain.

sylphraven

I agree with others, sounds like she didnt want to admit where they came from, or maybe she didnt want to admit she didnt know.

If she knew they were ethically made she would of smiled sweetly & answered you in a polite, nice manner.

Well done you on being so ethical & forget about the rude woman.

miss-coordinated

I agree, it sounds like they might have something to hide judging by their overreaction!

Have you tried here

xJayJayx

smells like a sweat shop to me!
No way was that racist it was a simple question that only needed a simple answer and clearly you have found their secret out.
Good on you for asking!

ecoelle

Thanks for all the replies, i have felt so bad about this, i found it hard to sleep last night. I knwo that probably sounds really stupid but it's so important to me that i don't offend people, i try to be a good person who treats people well and i just felt like 'oh my goodness is that how i come across', well i think i can move on now, i am most definately not buying my dress from there. I have checked out some of the websites people have suggested but am also looking at some second hand dresses as i hate waste so maybe if i buy second hand i can give some of the money to charity or something. Anyway, thanks very much to all of you. I may even pop a pick on of the dress i decide on!