Foster Care

purple12

Just wondering if anyone else is a foster carer? Myself and my partner have been through the process and last week our first foster child arrived. Things are going well but obviously we are just at the start of things and the local authority haven't been as open with support as we thought they might be.

I'd be interested to hear other experiences.

mookiandco

I'm not a foster carer but a Child Care Solicitor so I see the other side from the parent's point of view. I'm afraid that social workers are so busy that quite often foster carers are left to get on with it and are not given the support they should have. Quite often the local authority will simply put alot of the responsibility on the foster parents which should be the social workers. Parents of the children will also see you as the enemy, after all you have their child. If you can work with the parents and show that you are simply looking after their child whilst they are not in a position to do so this can help. Also parents often want to give the children familiar things such as toys or clothes. If you can accomodate this it will go a long way to helping relations with the parents. A foster carer on one of my cases also bought a mother's day card and a little bear for one of the mums of the child that is placed with her. The mother was absolutely thrilled with such a thoughtful gesture. Its small things like that that make good foster carers, excellent foster carers.

Foster carers are invaluable in the work that they do so just wanted to wish you luck.

Phantom_Flan_Flinger

My wife and I have been Foster Carers for just over 2 years now with Bedfordshire Council.
We're down for taking from ages 0-14. We're currently on our 4th child, 3 of which have been newborns and 1 toddler.

To be honest, we haven't really needed much support as we've just had to deal with normal baby/toddler behaviour.

We have had some issues, not directly with our link worker(s) but with the Social Workers for the kids. Things are better now though.

I can try and help you with any questions where I can.

purple12

Thanks for the replies. I'm not overly concerned at the moment as things have been going swimmingly to be honest. But am just getting occasional nerves because we don't have any children of our own and so sometimes there isn't an instinctive knowledge of what is right or wrong other than common sense and wanting the best interests of the child above all things. The boy placed with us has English as a second language but we've been using phrase books and dictionaries (and youtube is a great source of cartoons in various languages!). Of course, we have two weeks of Easter holidays too and he doesn't have any friends outside school..
I didn't want to sound critical of the social workers - I know they are busy and they have always been helpful. Are there any forums or sources of online support that you know of? We've been told the local authority signs us up for the Fostering Network and the local group of foster carers.. so I'm expecting that we'll have some more people around in that form.

But it was the little things really and just somewhere to ask the 'stupid' questions - especially, as I said, because we don't have kids ourselves.

Phantom_Flan_Flinger

There are regular support group meetings in and around our area. We haven't been to any, but on the courses we've been on there's always people there who know each other through the groups and other social evenings.

As for forums, if you Google fostering forum, there seem to be plenty out there.

And there is of course the Fostering Network website.

dumb_blonde

just thought id say what nice people i think you are.My hubby and i talked about fostering but 1)we dont have a spare room at the mo
2)we wondered about the affects on our own children.
Anyway best of luck to you all and well done on doing such a wonderful thing.

Phantom_Flan_Flinger

dumb_blonde wrote: »

2)we wondered about the affects on our own children.

Bedfordshires policy is not to place children within a year (or is it 2?) either side of your own children. This is supposed to minimise any direct competition that your own child(ren) may feel arises.

Is I mentioned above, as we've only had babies, there hasn't been any problems. Our youngest (6) has always understood that we're not the childs Mummy or Daddy and that they won't be with us for ever.

dumb_blonde

can u request that you only want babies,sounds daft but then surely they can stay in your room and you dont need a spare?

purple12

Thanks again for that feedback - and we are approved to foster school age kids but the very first question we were asked was about having a spare room, before we had specified any details at all..

starsinmycrown

fostering is a long term ambition of mine and i've read into it a lot. the part i don't understand is that they say you cannot work full-time and foster. Does this therefore mean that you have to be in a "position" where you arent working anyway, e.g. retired? or do they give you enough income for you to manage when one/two give up their jobs?

i met foster carers at work and they weren't working, but obviously it was a bit of a personal question to ask.

purple12

Just going on our own experience, the local authority we are registered with requires one 'stay at home' carer. My partner doesn't work and I am fortunate to earn a wage that covers us both anyway. However, one of the things they haven't told us - even at this rather late stage, is how much we are actually getting. Of course, we don't do this for money but we haven't got a clue what the fostering allowance is yet and considering we have jumped into it with both feet, it feels a bit mean to keep hassling the council about telling us about pay but then again, it is the reason that partner isn't even looking for work (which he would be otherwise). And the boy who came to us, came in only the clothes he was wearing so obviously we've had to buy a fair amount of clothes (and toys/books!) for him!
I will be more than happy to pass on the details, starsinmycrown, as soon as we get them ourselves!