Thats it. I've giving up helping people. ARGH!!!!! (Not leaving MSE!)

skylight

Why do people ask for help then chuck it back at you??

I've spent a fair time going through (ex)SILs finances. She owes a scary amount of money, lives with her kids, currently unemployed (but could do a spot of work on the side if she wanted to as she was a mobile hairdresser), lives in a council flat in the town centre and only owns a car in her name.

So she has several options.

a) Go back to work as a mobile hairdresser. She could earn £2500 a MONTH based on her old client list, and most of these keep asking for her to come back. On a good household budget she could be free of debt within 3.5 years on a self-managed DMP (Or rather me managed!). But she hates cutting peoples hair so refuses to do this anymore. So that option is out.

b). Go bankrupt and not work, therefore being free in 1 year. She could do a few heads on the side to supplement her income (if she chose to do this - not condoning it). But she wont go BR. She has just phoned me to tell me that she cannot possibly go BR. Its nothing to do with assets - she is happy for them to take the car. She cannot bear the thought of losing her NEXT account. HER FLIPPIN NEXT ACCOUNT.....

Despite me mentioning that Next are likely to default her soon and expect them to close the account in a few months anyway. No. She cannot bear to cope with a life of her kids in Primark clothes or hand-me downs.


Bloody Stupid Idiotic Crazy Greedy Pathetic Lazy Good For Nothing woman.


She's on her own. I give up. :mad:


(flippin wasting my time like that.... :mad:)






PS. Re-reading my title that I cannot change?? I didn't mean MSE. I love this place too much!

mighty_sheep

I agree, but dont give up your knowledge and experience because of one person, everybody on here who has helped me and others are legends as far as im concerned;)

k2nga

I think you have taken it well..........If i was you i would just sit back and wait for her to fall flat on her face as i for one these days like to sit there saying i told you so.

Vain about the Next card and how this nation has become and i for one on the otherside of being BR now love getting a bargain in clothes from the cheapest place i can get them.

dottydora

She'll learn soon enough! I too love a bargain and have no problems now looking through charity shops and the likes of Primark and driving around in my little old car as opposed to my sporty no. I had before - the little old one is paid for!

Toni23

I think Next should be the least of her problems. Of all my creditors they were the only ones I had not missed payment to, yet when I placed an order they carried out an additional credit search ( showing no footprint on the credit report ) they then found my defaults and refused my order and closed my account anyway despite the fact I was in credit and had not missed a payment as I always kept the balance relatively small.

When I called to query, they said that the search had revealed that I was not the type of customer that they wanted to attract!! I did mention that the only credit search I had consented to was the one at the time of opening the account and that was in my maiden name over 4 years ago and they had no authority to search me again in my married name whether this left a footprint or not.

Nevertheless, at some point she will realise that you have tried to help as much as you can and come to her senses. I'd be irritated too if I had put myself out to that extent. Don't let it dampen your day, the advice of the regular few on this forum is always valued by the many that read it, even if we don't always leave a reply.

gettingbetter

skylight

please dont stop with the advice

i for one read what you post
and have taken onboard
a lot of what you say :T:T

thanks

kas xx

Bluebelle72

How ridiculously snobbish of her!! I'm sorry skylight, she's takin the p***!! You've gone to all that trouble for her when you absolutely didn't have to?! Only for her to be like that?! Huh! I have to say that my little boy certainly dresses is Next clothes, which are all second hand off ebay! Along with other makes such as mothercare and M and S, all the clothes I buy are bargain basement prices and they all look fabulous, who cares that I didn't buy them new!! If that is her attitude then I agree with k2nga she should fall flat on her face, you've done all you can for her.
please don't stop giving your advice to the ones that WANT to listen though hunni! Like ME for instance lol xx

Tobiwan_Kenobi

As you know, you can only offer people advice, you can't force them to take it. Sensible people listen to advice from a large number of people (or those with relevant experience) before deciding on their best course of action.

Sounds like your ex-SiL is refusing to face up to the situation, no doubt she will be forced to at some stage in the not too distant future...

skylight

Oh.
I know I moan about it. But I bet that I will be one of the first to help pick her up again.

She is a silly girl (and I get my Next stuff from Ebay too!).


And thanks for your comments. I wasn't planning on leaving MSE. Just got a bit fed up about why you help people. But it is her choice I guess.

iquit

Your advice is appreciated hear so please know there are people that value your contributions. Sometimes the only lessons people want to learn are the hard ones

dalip

Sky to edit your title. You click edit on your post twice and you should then be able to change the title.

I know exactly what you mean about helping people who are just not interested in helping themselves,my daughter being the one i refer to not this forum.lol

You can lead a horse to water but you can not make them drink girl:rolleyes:

Stick to this forum where is is very much appriciated:A