Would you?...

shellsuit

Have a small intimate wedding (service and meal afterwards for around 30 people) and then go away on a cracking honeymoon for a fortnight somewhere hot abroad for you and your family (so including your 3 kids)
OR

Have the same wedding in the day and have a big party in the night - but no honeymoon/holiday? Well, maybe a weekend away, on our own, but int his country.

I like one of those ideas and OH likes the other.

We will compromise, we always do, but we won't have the money to do it all at the time we want it.

What would you girls prefer??

kelda_shelton

I guess it depends on your circle of friends... Id b tempted to do the first on I ahve to say you could always have a massive house party on your return!!

chardonnay_2

the first one. the most important people will be at your wedding and as kelda says you could hold a house party when you get back. you could have a byob barbeque or something to keep costs down.

shellsuit

kelda_shelton wrote: »

I guess it depends on your circle of friends... Id b tempted to do the first on I ahve to say you could always have a massive house party on your return!!

I do want a party, but I'd rather go away for a fortnight, because I really begrudge paying out money to entertain everyone else, rather than on us to go away as a family. Especially as I only know 5 members of OH's family! (And 2 of them I've only met once even though we've been together for almost 7 years)

If we get married, have a small meal, then have a party at night, we won't be able to afford to go away until about a year later.

Argghh decisions, decisions :rotfl: :rotfl:

shellsuit

chardonnay wrote: »

the first one. the most important people will be at your wedding and as kelda says you could hold a house party when you get back. you could have a byob barbeque or something to keep costs down.

And that's who I'd prefer were there. :T

I HATE being noticed and I hate the thought of being the centre of attention, especially when I don't know people.

I mentioned to OH about having a party after coming back from honeymoon, which would be ideal, as we could do the catering ourselves then as we wouldn't be running around on our wedding day flapping like chickens!

Us doing the catering = save £££££££££'s

Keep the answers coming please girls, as I'll show OH and make him see sense! :rotfl:

chardonnay_2

some guests might actually prefer the first option as party or bbq etc would be less formal and would therefore save them loads as being a guest at a wedding can be expensive. you could also look into having a blessing at home by a humanist minister (couple of hundred quid) to make the occassion a more special occassion for you and guests etc.

Zazen999

Big parties are vastly over-rated...small intimate gatherings are much more refined and memorable...if you had a big party you'd probably not have time to talk to too many guests [half of which you probably don't even know].

aimee21j

I am doing the 1st one (except I haven't got kids). Just having 30 to ceremony and meal after but no evening reception.

We saw it as the people who were there were the ones we really wanted there. We have far too many collegues/ friends so not inviting any apart from one couple who we work with but socialise with too. We then had the money left over to blow on a cracking honeymoon. I too can't stand being the centre of attention and to be honest, it would wreck my day.

s4aRainyDay

we're having a boy bbq/engagement party, cuts down on cost of inviting everyone for the big day, and if you have more then 30ish people at the wedding you'll never spend anytime talking to anyone-you'll have to rush around and talk to everyone for 2mins and won't be able to ahve a real conversation!

LucyB-Bride_to_Be

Definatly the first one!! Like everyone says at least the important people will be there and then you have your honeymoon/holiday to look forward to as well! Give me a holiday over a big party anyday!!

Norma_Desmond

The first option without doubt! Like others have said it's YOUR day and so much more memorable with just family and close friends - I too hate being the centre of attention and we just had a small wedding, then lunch (with a few toasts etc.) and then we escaped on honeymoon to Italy.
When we returned we just asked all our other friends/workmates/assorted loonies to join us in the pub one night; it was great, no stress or hassle!