Its all about the kids!!!!!

kelloggs36

Absolutely! I couldn't agree more. There are some NRPPs who need to be reminded of that fact (Jacklink for one!) Many NRPPs are fantastic, but again it takes the bad ones to give the rest a bad name.

overthehills

I think what concerned me about the original post was it was all about the kids but HER kids. No where did you mention "our" They are his kids too.
My husband pays his maintenence yet his ex has weedled him out of his life for no reason apart from "I want you out of my life and out of my daughters life." So, she goes on to marry and then changes the childs name to be "known as" Infact, the woman stooped so low she got an eight year old child to write a letter to daddy telling him she didn't want to see him. Now, you may all assume he was a bad father, but I can tell you this. He isn't. He bent over backwards for his daughter. He adjusted his work to enable him to get a then 2 year old to nursery and pick her up. He looked after her for 3 days a week. In my experience, I don't know many men who would do that, my ex certainly didn't. Yes he played the mind games with the kids but he never wanted to look after them. Too much maintenence. The ex wife got bitter because my husband moved on and met someone else. he has a letter from her admitting she didn't know why she had an affair. HUbby had her back 3 times, and she continued to be deceitful. I suspect she thought he would wait around until she got it out of her system because this is when all her stupid games began. The 3 days hubby had his child were wittled down to one and then to nothing. She dictated terms as to when he could see his child and when he couldn't. The times he had her, the ex arranged play dates and sleepovers so if hubby said it was his time with his child, he would look like the bad person.
So, hate this woman? I despise her. She doesn't deserve to have the title mother because she has done nothing to encourage contact or a relationship between father and daughter and THAT is what being a parent is about. ALLOWING children to have relationships with their parents whether they receive money or not.
For a long time I didn't receive anything for my kids but I love them and know they would be damaged if I started these stupid control games to get back at their dad. Why would I want to damage the most important people in my life? So, I am a great mother and if hubs ex was ever worried I was the better mother than she, she's damn right. I am because my kids still see their dad.

catenorfolk

Blimey!! i was referring to the kids as mine because I was talking to you guys on here. I have never tried to stop my ex seeing my /his/our kids. I moved 200 miles closer to enable my/his/our kids to see their father and I take them to visit and they see him regularly. I have never played mind games with the children as in my case the Children come FIRST. All I have ever wanted is to be able to support the children, but also to be able to be there for them and not have to work 24 hrs and put the kids into child care. I would also just like to mention that for whatever reasons our relationship broke down, this does not and never did make any difference to me wanting a good life for the kids. I cant be bothered to hate the new partner of my ex, even tho she was the one who helped to break up my marraige, firstly because I dont like hating anyone, it makes you bitter and twisted and life is far to short and nice to bother with that and i just hope that my ex's partner loves the kids even a little of the way I do, then i think this is good for the kids. secondly if there is hate between people, then this rubs off on the kids. Life in general is pretty OK but obviously there are hick ups along the way. If his partner feels like this about me as you do about your partners ex, well then she should just get on with life and enjoy what she has and not worry about things she cant change. It's so sad when someone takes on a hatred for another person. Perhaps part of your hatred for this person is because your ex has treated you badly and maybe you are venting some of your frustration about your ex on his ex!! maybe i am wrong. all I say is just enjoy everything you have and treasure it, dont waste your hate on anyone, they are just soooo not worth it (ps. it gives you worry lines lol)