Custodial Parents Rights

marshmallows

Do you have a residency order??

as you were married your x therefore has pr so he CAN get the kids hair cut without your permission , he can buy clothes for them (as can anyone in the world) but he will need your permission to take the kids on holiday abroad , he can take them away within this country in his contact time without your permission
but if you dont have a residency order then you also cant take the kids out of the country without your x's permission

marshmallows

if your x has a contact order and you moving will affect his contact then he can take you to court to try and stop you

my hubby has joint residency and therefore his x can move where she likes but can not take the kids with her if it will affect the joint residency order

Paparika

I thought about leaving the country with my ds and i was told i would need the ex's permission, he was my husband and the father.

mazza111

Actually they can stop it unfortunately, I was living in England and my x got the joint tenancy house. Council wouldn't help me because he wasn't physically abusive. Got a housing association to take me on in Scotland. Courts in England told me I wasn't allowed to take the children out of Sussex as this would stop their father from seeing them.
After about 6 weeks he gave up the fight and I was free to move, however I don't know what would have happened if he hadn't given up the fight if u know what i mean.

shandella_2

Thanks for all the replies.

I think I will definately have to look into this - I remeber seeing an article in The Daily Mail about what a non-custodial parent can and can't do (e.g. the hair cutting example).

As i said i am not planning on moving away as our local schools are very good. But I just want to be prepared for when he next starts spouting off to me what i should and shouldn't do.

For example - I always let him know when parent's evening are, school fete's christmas plays are happening etc. A friend of mine said i shouldn't have to do this, as i am not his secretary :rolleyes: , and if he really want's to go then he should ring the school and get them to forward him all relevant school holidays and any other information that may concern him. Ditto for hosptial appointments etc.

What does everyone else do and what is the protocol for these kinds of things and another thing what do you do if you pay for your childs birthday party and invite him because it's the right thing to do for your child but he doesn't contribute in anyway or hasn't given you any maintenance for months!!

I really want to keep things as nice as possible and not let things upset the boys - but where do you draw boundaries.

Any advice would be extremely well appreciated.

Paparika

I've never told the ex much about how his son is doing purely because he was too nasty and violent to talk to when DS was smaller.

The only time i did ring him was when DS was rushed to hospital with suspected meningitis and i felt that he had a right to know.

He never gets involved with what DS does anyway, only see's him once a fortnight for a few hours, the promises of taking DS on holiday in the holidays, the day trips etc, they never happened because he said he couldn't afford them, but he would be seen at the weekends at pubs and clubs trying to pick women up. Although every holiday time i always ring him and say that it would be good to spend more time with his son, get bonding with him etc... he never does

Although a few weeks back he did have DS for a few nights when i was taken to hospital when my back went, so not all bad, and he was concerned about me and how i would managed when i got home etc... he finally twigged i was ill.

everyone does things differently depending on how they get on with the ex, i told the school that he was not to be trusted and so all information comes to be, he never asks so i never tell. DS i am sure fills him in 'Son how is school' "s'alright" ....

marshmallows

Shandella fathers that dont have parental responsibility can not get a child hair cut, they also cant agree for them to have medical treatment if something should happen, no say in what school the child attends, religious beliefs

If both parents have parental responsibility and none of them has a residence order then they are on equal footing

As you call him your x husband you were married therefore he has parental responsibility. If you have a residency order issued by the courts then he will need your permission to take the children abroad but you will not need his.
You are only deemed resident (custodial) parent if you have this residency order in the eys of the law, in the eyes of the csa whoever claims the child benefit is resident parent


My hubbys x does not inform him of anything to do with school or anything in general really, the school send him information because they have been informed of the situation and he has joint residency, as do the doctors.
Your x husband should be contacting the school himself , i agree its not your responsibility
As for the birthday party its a tricky one because me and hubby will throw a party for the kids and they will have a seperate one with their mum and her family