I have just uninvited my brothers

seashellshel

Logged on under different name because I dont know whether I have done wrong but I just blew up and acted on impulse.
My small family wedding has just got much smaller.
OH doesnt like my brothers.I told him they were coming to the wedding anyway and if we banned everyone just because we didnt like them then his dad couldnt come either.
I knew one of my brothers dabbled in drugs,well I had been told but hoped it may just be gossip, but I didnt believe that the other one did.He just dialed the wrong number and thought he was phoning the dealer but phoned my house instead and spoke to OH.I went absolutely berserk,phoned him back yelling that he is stupid,useless,idiot,druggie,etc,etc,etc, and I dont want to set eyes on either of them again.
Mum phoned me in tears,they are at her house.If they dont come to the wedding she cant trust them to be left at her house so she cant come either.
I told her I dont want the stress and its up to her entirely,of course I desperately want her to be there but if thats what she wants to do then she isnt to try to make it my fault.
Devestated and angry.

xJayJayx

I think you have done the right thing, there are people in my family who are 'druggies' and i really don't trust them so they haven't been invited.
I'm sure your mum will make the right choice and come to your wedding.

gill_81uk

I think you have done the right thing also.

I'm sure your mum doesnt sit in the house with them all the time? She must be able to leave them alone so surely it wont be an issue for the wedding.

hollydays

Surely they must have been in the house on their own alone at other times?

hollydays

Are we talking hard drugs?

Horace

hollydays wrote: »

Are we talking hard drugs?

No such thing as a soft drug these days:rolleyes:

hollydays

I am not looking for an arguament, (the OP is upset and doesn't need a side argument about the use of the contraversial term "soft drugs")but are we talking about cannabis,which is very prevalent or something more serious? Or class A (for the pedants).

Mrs_Huggett

Cannibis is much stronger than it was a few years ago and is now mostly skunk, try telling anyone who has a loved one who smokes it that its soft, it can lead to problems with mental health, the OP has done the right thing, maybe they will take notice and turn themselves round, I really hope so. Mum will find it almost impossible to get help so try and understand that she must be feeling very low about it all, after all no parent wants to have to deal with this frightening and worrying issue. I hope it all works out for you and your wedding goes smoothly.

hollydays

Yep,but is it worth banning someone from your wedding because they smoke cannabis.I had a member of my family had massive problems with it,but that isn't really the point.

Neeny82

OP does not need a debate about drugs and whether they are hard or soft. All that matters is that she is feeling let down by certain family members and has come on this forum for a rant and some support.

SeaShellShel - Your mum will attend your wedding as she will regret it for the rest of her life if she doesn't but you must not give in to anyone elses demands. If she says she cannot come because your brothers are not invited then tell her you are very sorry that she has made that decision and she will be sorely missed but you must stick to your guns - it is your day! Big hugs x x

seashellshel

hollydays wrote: »

I am not looking for an arguament, (the OP is upset and doesn't need a side argument about the use of the contraversial term "soft drugs")but are we talking about cannabis,which is very prevalent or something more serious? Or class A (for the pedants).

Its the hard stuff they do.
I just found out they use all their money for drugs then live off mum and use her money too when theirs runs out.They either nag her so much that she gives in or steal from her.Her jewellery box is empty now.She cant pay her bills as all her money goes on drugs too.I know mum has been having money trouble for a while but apparantly I dont know half of it.I have helped her out with paying bills before and sent groceries quite often but I have to stop doing it because supporting her is supporting them.
She cant get them out of her house.She gets peace from them them very occassionally but they come back and beg to in for a drink of water or to use the loo and thats it,once they are in they are in.They have stolen the extra key before so she is worried they will let people she doesnt know into her house while she is at the wedding.She only ever pops out for doctors appointments or to the corner shop.