Why have I reacted like this?

waterwatcher

I am busy battling my debts. I'm fortunate that I can manage to make all payments and stay within my income so it is all gradually being paid off. Feeling quite proud of myself.

I was talking to a very good friend today who earns substantially more than me, has 2 incomes in their household who then proceeds to tell me that his mortgage is £58 a month at present ... mine is £460. I think of all that money sloshing around in that house and what fantastic productive things I could do with it and I've got really angry.:mad:

I'm fed up of struggling, battling along. I suppose its a touch of the green eyed monstor.

Just needed to offload to a board where I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way!

savingholmes

There is no point comparing yourself with others - our mortgage is £753 and I lose my job next week - there are always people better and worse off than you....

We all get jealous and naffed off sometimes tho - that is what makes us human

Merlinexcalibur

I think of all that money sloshing around in that house and what fantastic productive things I could do with it and I've got really angry.

Actually, I don't feel jealous of anyone like this. It's nothing to do with me, none of my business. So why should it bother or be bothering me? Money is not everything and I find people get jealous of far less in life than just financial matters. There is plenty more things of a precious nature in our lives for example. If your friend feels the need to rub your nose in it like this, which it seems to me they are by saying it to you then maybe your friendship isn't worth much from the getgo. Some friends you can do without for example. If anything your friend obviously knows of your struggles so nothing to feel jealous over from what I see of your post. Wait until they struggle then see who comes bleeting the quickest.

I think of all that money sloshing around in that house and what fantastic productive things I could do with it and I've got really angry.

So, it's not your house and, therefore, nothing to do with you. What I am saying is get on with what you are doing sod what they are doing. It does nothing to help your situation.

Shoe_Gal

waterwatcher wrote: »

I'm fed up of struggling, battling along. I suppose its a touch of the green eyed monstor.

Just needed to offload to a board where I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way!

I think we all feel like this sometimes, I certainly do But most of the time I try to look on the positive side that I am moving forward, not further into debt. We never know what goes on behind closed doors either, I suspect people were envious of my lifestyle sometimes, without knowing that it was built on very shaky foundations - credit cards

Nargleblast

We always think other people are better off than we are, but most of the time we don't know the full story. Your friend with the £58/month mortgage is probably up to the eyeballs in debt or other issues, so don't worry about it. The only thing that concerns you is your situation, and it seems like you have a good grip on it at present from what you say. The moral of the tale is don't worry about keeping up with the Jones's - drag them down to your level instead.

zippeh_2

dont peg yourself against anyone else as everyones situation is different to your own. You sound like your heading in the right direction which is all you can do.

waterwatcher

It was interesting Nargleblast what you picked up that he might have other worries. Seems from talking to him today that he is really unhappy in his marriage but doesn't want to leave as he knows the money etc would have to be split.

Its true that money lined pockets dont necessarily lead to happyness. And thanks to all who pointed it out, yeah I am doing alright, slowly but surely wins the race XX

GrammarGirl

I do agree that everyone gets jealous of others from time to time... but why would you presume the friend was bragging or rubbing your nose in it, and why would you think they probably have loads of other debts too?

Other people deserve to be happy as well! They sound like they have good jobs, have earned their money and have been fortunate with their mortgage. And using his unhappiness in marriage to get one up on him is really not nice. Score! They might have an inexpensive mortgage but at least their marriage is failing!

I'm not saying this is your attitude... maybe I'm just reading the posts wrong. But jealousy can be a horrible, bitter emotion - don't let it ruin your friendships.

waterwatcher

i dont think I'm coming across right, I dont think he was bragging and thats why I was confused about my reaction and how I felt angry/jealous what ever. I'm not happy his marriage is failing, I'm unhappy that a very good friend of mine is staying and a marriage that makes him unhappy due to money.

I'll stop posting now I think. I only wanted to talk to people who might know how it feels, maybe I have it all wrong. Sorry

GrammarGirl

waterwatcher wrote: »

i dont think I'm coming across right, I dont think he was bragging and thats why I was confused about my reaction and how I felt angry/jealous what ever. I'm not happy his marriage is failing, I'm unhappy that a very good friend of mine is staying and a marriage that makes him unhappy due to money.

I'll stop posting now I think. I only wanted to talk to people who might know how it feels, maybe I have it all wrong. Sorry

No, don't be sorry and don't stop posting! I didn't mean any offence with my comment, and it was mostly aimed at other peoples' posts rather than your own.

I just wanted to put across the point that jealousy can eat away at you if you let it. Concentrate on you and your life, don't compare yourself to others and you'll find things much easier.

Hope that makes my point clearer.

Karen_30

.....'I just wanted to put across the point that jealousy can eat away at you if you let it. Concentrate on you and your life, don't compare yourself to others and you'll find things much easier.'.....

Grammergirl - This is a great way of putting, funnily enough OH and I were having this discussion this afternoon and on and off this week. I've been down because my finances have delayed us slightly in life BUT what you have written has just hit home. It's important to focus on me (us) and our life and not what others are doing/have....we're all different.

Waterwatcher - it's hard not to feel a little envious as this is what all of us are wanting to achieve (an easier life) but I guess even when debt free or financially stable there will/may be other things to overcome in life. Good luck in clearing your debts! I hope that your friend is ok and things turn out ok for friend and his family.