£100 Funny Money Joke Contest

Former_MSE_Archna

The Orignal Thread:

To see all the original entries See the original thread. However be warned there are hundreds of them, the poor MoneySaver Towers team may be suing me for distress after forcing them to read the all to shortlist!

The Poll

Poll started: 28 February 2006. Poll Title: £100 Funny Money Joke Contest. The following are my lucky thirteen selections of the many hundreds of entries for the funniest jokes about Money and MoneySaving. Now I need your vote for the winner, so I can dish the prize. A few are a bit rude, hope you don’t mind. Vote for your favourite.

Prices are going up since the European currency came along, you used to be able to spend a penny, but now it's called 'euronating'!

Why did the Irish name their currency the 'punt'? Because it rhymes with 'bank manager'.

Q: How does the Pope cover his Ebay debts. A: Papal

A MoneySaver is walking down the street when he comes across a homeless man who says, "any chance of 10p for a cup of tea, mate?" The MoneySavers eyes light up. "Here's 20p, get me one too!"

Husband: If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here! Wife: "My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here".

A banker fell overboard on a friend's sale boat. The friend held up a life jacket, not knowing if the banker could swim and shouted "can you float alone?" "Obviously", the banker replied, "but it's a heck of a time to talk about business."

What do you call a rich bear? Winnie the Pools.

Business ethics: A customer orders £50 worth of widgets. You wrap them up and receive a payment note. As they leave you realise they've given you two £50 notes. Now: Should you or shouldn't you tell your partner?

Why did the scarecrow get a bonus from his boss? Because he was out standing in his field.

Husband: "Going down the pub, get yer coat on". Wife (surprised): "You're taking me to the pub?!" Husband (growls): "No, I'm going alone and turning the heating off".

Got stung by a bee the other day - paid £20 for a jar of honey!

A child is admitted to hospital, having eaten a £5 note. The next day, his mother asks the doctor how he's doing. The doctor replies "no change".

What's the collective noun for bankers? A wunch (that's right, a wunch of bankers).

Click reply to discuss or vote here

nelly_2

I cant decide between the first one and last one

Ken68

No doubts.........this one......Husband: "Going down the pub, get yer coat on". Wife (surprised): "You're taking me to the pub?!" Husband (growls): "No, I'm going alone and turning the heating off".

Peter-Pan_5

Husband: "Going down the pub, get yer coat on". Wife (surprised): "You're taking me to the pub?!" Husband (growls): "No, I'm going alone and turning the heating off". hilarious

no 4 as oulde as the hills

Cat-astrophe_2

Hello!

Does anyone know when the voting ends for the jokes? :rotfl:

Cheers

Donna

KizzyK_2

Husband: If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here! Wife: "My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here"

:rotfl:

Former_MSE_Andrea

Poll started: 28 February 2006. £100 Funny Money Joke Contest. The following are my lucky thirteen selections of the many hundreds of entries for the funniest jokes about Money and MoneySaving. Now I need your vote for the winner, so I can dish the prize. A few are a bit rude, hope you don’t mind. Vote for your favourite.

Top Ten

1st. - The Winner Why did the Irish name their currency the 'punt'? Because it rhymes with 'bank manager' 16% (411 Votes)

2nd. Husband: "Going down the pub, get yer coat on". Wife (surprised): "You're taking me to the pub?!" Husband (growls): "No, I'm going alone and turning the heating off". 14.9% (384 Votes)

3rd. A MoneySaver is walking down the street when he comes across a homeless man who says, "any chance of 10p for a cup of tea, mate?" The MoneySavers eyes light up. "Here's 20p, get me one too!" 14.1% (363 Votes)

4th. What's the collective noun for bankers? A wunch (that's right, a wunch of bankers). 12% (311 Votes)

5th. Prices are going up since the European currency came along, you used to be able to spend a penny, but now it's called 'euronating'! 11.5% (294 Votes)

6th. Why did the scarecrow get a bonus from his boss? Because he was out standing in his field. 6.8% (175 Votes)

7th. Q: How does the Pope cover his Ebay debts. A: Papal 5.9% (153 Votes)

8th. Husband: If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here! Wife: "My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here". 5.2% (134 Votes)

9th. A child is admitted to hospital, having eaten a £5 note. The next day, his mother asks the doctor how he's doing. The doctor replies "no change". 3.2% (83 Votes)

10th. What do you call a rich bear? Winnie the Pools. 3.1% (81 Votes)

11th. Got stung by a bee the other day - paid £20 for a jar of honey! 2.6% (68 Votes)

12th. A banker fell overboard on a friend's sale boat. The friend held up a life jacket, not knowing if the banker could swim and shouted "can you float alone?" "Obviously", the banker replied, "but it's a heck of a time to talk about business." 2.1% (55 Votes)

13th. Business ethics: A customer orders £50 worth of widgets. You wrap them up and receive a payment note. As they leave you realise they've given you two £50 notes. Now: Should you or shouldn't you tell your partner? 1.9% (51 Votes)

Total Votes: 2564


So, the winner, with 411 votes and 16% of the vote is:

Why did the Irish name their currency the 'punt'? Because it rhymes with 'bank manager' by brokebuthappy

Huge congratulations, can you send me a private message brokebuthappy, and we'll sort out your prize

Don_Smith

Extra Joke from Don Smith
Girl to friend:- "I think I've become a witch"
Friend:- "Why?"
Girl:- "I hitched a ride in a truck the other day. When I put my hand on the driver's knee he turned into a lay-by"

juno

I found that joke funniest, and I've been telling it to everyone!

elvis_bloggs

MSE_Andrea wrote:

Huge congratulations, can you send me a private message brokebuthappy, and we'll sort out your prize

A Mercedes will do nicely.

brokebuthappy

MSE_Andrea wrote:

Poll started: 28 February 2006. £100 Funny Money Joke Contest.

So, the winner, with 411 votes and 16% of the vote is:

Why did the Irish name their currency the 'punt'? Because it rhymes with 'bank manager' by brokebuthappy

Huge congratulations, can you send me a private message brokebuthappy, and we'll sort out your prize

Hi Andrea just wanted to thank you so much and I've pm'ed you.
Roisin x.