Newly single mum of 3 - Just don't know where to start!?

webbedfeet

Hi there,

I'm new to posting here and was hoping to find some advice as to what I should do. My partner of 9 years has just left. We have 3 children (7, 3 &2). I have no income of my own at present and my ex partner works part time. We are/were in receipt of working and child tax credits and some housing benefit. The thing is, I don't know where to start. I'm worried sick about how I am going to pay my rent next month. I just don't know where to start. The split is amicable and my ex I'm sure will do all he can to support us - although he now has to pay rent for someone else (he earns 900pcm).

Can anyone point me in the right direction please? Any advise gratefully received - I'm in a wilderness right now!

Rebe

Hello,
Sorry to hear about your situation, I feel for you.

Firstly (if you haven't already) contact the child tax credits, working tax credits and housing benefit as now you're on your own with the children and not working, the amount you're given should alter.
Sit down and talk to your ex, work out where his finances go and see how much he can reasonably contribute towards the children for food, rent, clothes, education etc.

Hope this helps a little x

HalfPint

Contact your local CAB, they are a wealth of information and will help you get all the benefits you may be entitled to.

Rebe is right, contact CTC & housing people, let them know you are now on your own with 3 children, the sooner you tell them the better.

If the split is amicable, try and get your ex to help as much as he can reasonably afford to do so.

I know what you're going through having been there myself....financially it isn't easy but it is possible and it does get better as you learn to manage things all on your own. If you need an ear, feel free to pm me.

Don't be afraid to ask for help from organisations, thats what they are there for.

There is also lots of useful money saving on here which will make the money you do get go that much further.

hth. Laura x

back_on_track

Hiya webbedfeet!

Ist of all dont panic. Your going through a tough and unsettling time at mo, but things will settle down.

Do you have a citizen advice bureau near you? They are great at helping out about benefits and other help etc. Thay can get things rolling for you too,
If you have one near, go asap and speak to an advisor.

You will need to contact jobcentre to claim income support, and possibly full housing benefit depending on your rent.
You should contact tax credits to declare change of circumstances, as you will now qualify for single parent child tax credit, and no wtc.
You could speak to your landlord and explain your situation, and that you are trying to get things in order asap, im sure he/she would be simpathetic, these things happen, and you are being upfront about any problems in paying next month.

Anyhow good luck, take a deep breath. Im sure lots of people be along to support and advise you on here. xx

Rebe

Webbedfeet,

Like HalfPint said, if you want to chat anymore (I know what you're going through) feel free to pm me also.

Rebe x

webbedfeet

Thank you so much for your kind replies. I've been in contact with the tax credits office and Housing benefits so that's a start. I have to be realistic and it looks likely that I won't be able to meet my rent payment on the 1 April. I'm going to contact my landlords agent and let them know.

Before all this happened I was planning to go into business - nothing too high flying - just a little gardening whilst the kids are at school/pre school. I'm determined not to let all this put a stop to that. I'm going to look at my first job later, was going to cancel but have decided to crack on! I don't think I'll make much money, but at least I'm doing something!!

Rebe

Thats good, hopefully the credits will get sorted soon!
I live in rented accommodation and when I first moved in they wanted the rent on the first of the month, but I dont get paid till the first Wednesday of the month and the dat varies. They were very good about it and said as long as they received it in the first 2 weeks of the month it was ok, so all should be ok there.

Don't let all this put you off of the gardening, I think its a great thing for you to do, well done and good luck, hope your first job goes well.

Rebe x

bestpud

Another one going through the same, although I am a couple of months on now and starting to feel more easy about it all, thank goodness.

Is it housing benefit you get, for a Council or HA house? Or is it a private rent?

Either way your HB will be backdated to the Monday following the date you informed them - or the same day.

You are right to contct your LL asap and if it is social housing, you are unlikely to have a problem at all tbh but it sounds as though you have a private rent...

You need to get an Income support claim in asap as they will only backdate to the day you claim. You only need to take proof of ID and mine was set up in less than a week.

I also found tax credits to be very quick so hopefully it will be the same for you.

If you work under 16 hours a week, you can keep the first £20 and the rest is taken pound for pound from your IS, but so long as you are getting some IS, you will be exempt from NHS charges, will be entitled to the maximum LHA/HB available to you, and will get free school meals for your eldest. Plus I think there are things you can access for your toddlers, but I'm not sure about that.

If you work over 16 hours, you can access wtc and help with childcare.

I'm glad you are sticking with your plans but please don't make the mistake I made and go headlong into doing everything right now. Break ups are exhausting (I completely underestimated the emotional toll) and you have your hands full with three young children, so do take care of yourself and allow yourself some breathing space.

Oh and one last point - if you claim wtc, you can keep all child maintenance your ex pays to you, but if you claim IS, you can only keep the first £20 a week.

I hope that helps a bit.

pupsicola

Very sorry to hear your news.

As your children are so young your health visitor should be able to offer some advice.

I would also go to a website called entitledto.co.uk. Just fill in their questionairre and it will advise you what you can claim for.

Sarah

webbedfeet

Hello,

Thank you again for your kind comments and advice. Bestpud - you are so right about rushing headlong into things, thanks x

I'm in privately rented. Took the plunge and rang my landlords agent this morning. They were really sympathetic and are going to write to the LA to advise that I am now solely responsible for the rent and they'll remove my ex from the tenancy. They are also letting my landlord know...

I've also been into the LA office and got the ball rolling there. They're going to process as an urgent claim - have to say, they couldn't have been more helpful. Gave me loads of info about self-employment etc.

Have decided to register as S/E from the start of the new tax year rather than lumber myself with loads of extra paperwork. So I've put in a claim for IS today. I'm hoping come the 6 April, I'll come off IS and onto WTC (I'm planning to work 16 hours and get some assistance with the childcare costs).

Just hope I'm doing all the right things at the right time...such a lot of things to think of..

A productive morning fuelled only by large amounts of caffine!!!