Friends Husband/Divorce/Debt Problems

richdeniro

Hi There,

Was just wondering if anyone here could give me any advice for my friend.

Basically one of my best friends has just divorced her husband. It has taken her over a year to do so as he isn't a very nice person (long story I won't go into but he abused her) and was not very co-operative with the whole thing.

Anyway he has now effectively kicked her and their 7 year old daughter out of the flat that they rented meaning that she has to find somewhere to live. He basically won't allow them to live in the flat because it is 'his' flat and he will just be there too and will abuse her if she is forced to live there. She is staying with family at the mo but thinks she has found somewhere and should be moving in pretty soon-ish.

However the major problem is money (as it always is), she has a fair few debts - the recent stock market woes have pretty much wiped out her savings plunging her into real financial difficulty with some large debts. She was a housewife before deciding she had no option but to leave her husband and so is unemployed - however is applying for jobs. As an aside she has been suffering from depression through the whole thing and has found it very hard to apply for things but is attending therapy which is helping and I have found a few jobs for her that she has gone for so fingers crossed on that front.

However now he is trying to destroy her. He thinks that because she used the money he was earning that she should be punished for using it whilst they were married and is doing everything in his power to hurt her. He has even gone as far to report her for fraudulently using a credit card of his a few months ago to pay a parking fine and said he will be looking further into his affairs to see what else 'he can get her for'. She has asked him what he thinks this is doing to their daughter but he just doesn’t seem to care. Lets just say he is a nasty piece of work.

Anyway what I’m basically asking is what she is entitled to whilst she is unemployed and what she can claim from her husband (maintenance payments?) and how to go about it.

I have basically loaned her a bit of money until she can get herself sorted and employed. She’s applied for jobseekers allowance and tax credits for now but I was wondering what else might help?

Many thanks.

Pee

There is a very helpful benefits checker on here. She will also be able to make a claim through CSA - if they are still called that. If she has no assets, she should be able to get Legal Aid - I know, that's not called that anymore either - and take some advice.

Horrid position to be in and I do feel for her, but a new place and a fresh start is probably for the best.

I hope they manage to work together for the sake of the child in the longer term.

NAR

Was there no financial settlement as part of the divorce?

richdeniro

NAR wrote: »

Was there no financial settlement as part of the divorce?

I don't think so.

As far as I am aware he was such a nasty piece of work that she just wanted rid of him and he made it so difficult for her to divorce. I think she thought that he would at least contribute something for their daughters welfare but is even refusing to do that now.

He also has nothing and a few debts himself and so there was nothing she could claim.

NAR

Other than CSA all I can suggest is she goes to CAB who will be able to advise on what all benefits she may be entitled to claim.

Floss

She needs to go to the local COuncil's Homeless Office, and ask for help from them. They may put her in contact with a Woman's Refuge which will probably be a good idea for the support & security this will offer her.

Does she have any joint financial arrangements with him? She also needs to open a brand new bank account for her benefits, and to check her credit rating now, also writing to them all to ask for them to disassociate her from him.

If she contacts the CSA, she needs to ensure that they do not disclose her address or location to him.

What was the situation with the divorce & the flat? Did she divorce him without any legal advice & no settlement or accomodation?

RAS

Martin has a guide on domestic violence here http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1276963

I am astounded that her solicitor has not taken action to remove him from the flat and allowed her to divorce without a settlement, but....

The chances are this will be a long story. All one can hope is that he gets bored by her and moves to another relationship.

There is also a guide to benefits at www.entitledto.com.

The financial settlement should have been done between the decree nisi and absolute, so she missed that boat. Now her only real option will be going via the CSA. Given that he has very little, I suggest she will struggle to get money even then. If he stops working she gets £5 per week, if he pays it and non-payment periods of a year seem to be standard.

I am going to go through few of the basics which I would cover for relationship breakdown on the debt free wanabee forum. She may have done this already but it doesw not harm to do things twice.

She needs to make sure her name is removed from any utilities and advise them and the Council (re council tax) when she moved out of the property. That will limit her liability there.

If they have any joint financial accounts, she must insist that either her name is removed or that all further transactions require both signatories. That prevents him running up additional debts and then leaving her to pay them.

I would suggest she checks whether he has indeed reported her for fraudulent use of the card by contacting CIFAS. Whilst she is at it, She might be advised to ask for a protective listing on CIFAS herself. This prevents him registering on-line particularly, for new accounts in her name.

Your friend also needs to join www.freecycle.org, which is like e-bay but the goods are free. Very useful for clothes, furniture, white goods.

I suggest that she joins DFW as there are lots of things she can do to get small bits of income and goodies that do not affect her benefits. Reading the "Boost your income" thread is a good start.

There are certainly a number of people with similar stories.

With respect to her debts she needs to contact one of the debt charities listed here. http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loans/debt-help-plan#help

Georgie4

She needs to go and see a solicitor as soon as possible to sort out maintenance payments. Many solicitors do free half hour consultations though if she is on benefits she should qualify for free civil legal aid - it is usually attached to a house so has to be paid back but if they were only renting then there would be nothing to attach a payment order to

Did the maintenance not come up in the divorce proceedings ?

bargainbetty

If he continues to harass her and make false claims about her finances, particularly on the back of the previous abuse, she should also consider asking her local Community Support Police Officer to have a word with him, possibly requesting that he be given a formal warning under the 2004 Harassment Act. This would mean that further nasty communications could be construed as harassment, and he would be subject to arrest and prosecution.

If he fails to pay maintenance for the child, she should approach the courts for an order that deducts the amounts at source - his employers.

There are also injunctions etc. PM me if you want more details, I have a friend who works in the anti-social behaviour prevention area, and he might be able to offer some advice too.

Good luck to her x

richdeniro

Sorry for not thanking all for the replies. Have only just seen them.

Just want to say thanks to all and will be going to see my friend tomorrow armed with all the necessary info given here to help her through it.