Pocket Money - How Do You Do It?

Spendalot_2

Interesting thread. Me and OH used to allow a set amout of cash per week each to spend as we wish.

What it lead to was us both spending say £50 on crap (mags, CDS, takeaways etc) that we did not need. It was a waste of money.

kathfisch

I'm not in a relationship at the moment but I think if I was (and we were at the stage of joint finances) I would want a small amount each week/month that I knew I could spend on whatever I liked. And if I wanted to save this money for 3 months and buy something big I could without feeling guilty about a big purchase, IYKWIM? Also it would stop me from feeling annoyed if OH spent their money on something totally useless (IMHO) because that would be their decision.

I think its essential to have some things in a relationship that are just yours to control and enjoy; be that some money, a particular hobby or one evening a week with friends rather than OH. This is speaking as someone who has been in a very dependent relationship; closeness and sharing is good but not when it becomes suffocating.

And what that has to do with pocket money I'm not sure... off on a tangent again... apologies!

Alleycat

I assume that at the moment, your OH spends most of the £60 spends each week, leaving you with not a lot? If this is the case, then by splitting the £60 equally (£30 each per week), he would have to spend less but he couldn't complain as it would only be fair that you both have an equal amount of pocket money each. What he chooses to spend his on is his own affair, but if he wants more, tough, you should not have to go without. If you choose to save most of yours to put to bills, then that would be your choice, but at least he wouldn't be able to continue spending most of the £60 without a look-in for you.

Just read that back and it doesn't make much sense, but I understand, honest!

rdwarr

mdeebee wrote:

Then we are very different types of men - I am one of the good 'uns! I don't have to provide for anyone else, which is probably a good thing.

Glad to hear it. I'm one of the "everything I earn is ours" brigade as well. I can't understand how a "couple" can share all aspects of a life with somebody, except the money. It's not really THAT important.

tyllwyd

If your husband is putting the £20 in a jar to give himself something to work towards while he is giving up, I can see his logic but equally, I can see why you resent a third of your weekly £60 going into 'his' jar.

Why not sit down with him and try to negotiate a compromise. Maybe stick with what he is doing for the next five weeks, which would give him £100 which would be a pretty good incentive with his smoking. Then agree that afterwards the £60 goes back to being treated equally between the two of you - or perhaps that he continues with the £20 but saves it up for a joint treat, like a day out, something that you will do or enjoy together.

FrankieM

Hi Peppa,
My DH and I get £10 per week each that is pocket money, on which to spend whatever (crap!) we like. Its not very much but all our 'needs' are covered in the budget and we've been paying CC off.
I'm sure if I gave my DH more then he'd spend more!!
HTH

piptiddlepip

Me and my OH have separate money at the moment, though we have a joint account for bills. I give myself £20 a week pocket money, though this month that has to go on having my laptop repaired (

BertieMeldrew

rdwarr wrote:

My daughter's OH is the same. He chooses to spend all his income on going out with his mates and buying cigarettes and luxuries. She is then able to spend her income (which is half of his) on rent, council tax, bills and food :mad:

Tell her to spend some of it getting the locks changed next time he's out!!! Why do people stay with people who are so selfish?

DeniseNZ

We get $20 per week (nearly 8 pound) each. I tend to spend mine on lunch (once a week on Mondays when theres nothing in the fridge), snacks and drinks for work. Today I have brought water to work from home. Little things like that make all the difference. Also try and put aside some money out of that each week so I can weigh in at WW once or twice a month.

homersimpson_3

£60 per week for 'me money' is loads even for 2 people. if you think oh is spending more than his fair share and you feel neglected- split it in 2 and if you both want take away etc share the cost. if you don't spend yours save it and buy something/go somewhere really nice. praise him for giving up smoking. any way you can persuade him (gently) to take coffee/snacks. can you used saved money to do something really nice together at end of week e.g. weekend away; day trip; romantic meal. can you target £20 from stopping smoking towards debts and only have £40 me money etc. £5 a week 'me money' is plenty- although I would say alot depends on people's moods and what else happening in their lives. people generally tend to spend more when things are going bad, they're feeling a bit fed up etc - they focus less on money saving because all the other things happening in their lives.