Green shoots spotted!!!!!

mewbie_2

Well as we're moving through this thread like the Comic Relief night - gentle unfunny jokes to start with and gradually getting more savage I'll do the bit in between.

There are a lot of people worse off than you (sad music plays, cue shots of worse off people), and you need to give some money to make them, and you feel better. Cue X-Factor style sad story which makes people either donate or make a cup of tea.

Now back to the jokes and coming up in the next three hours - but I can't tell you when or you'll set the video - is Cleaver and his madcap sidekick Mr. Broderick.

Martinslovechild

They closed the whole city centre of Liverpool earlier because a suspect package was discovered in a parked vehicle.

It later turned out to be a tax disc.

Cleaver

Martinslovechild wrote: »

They closed the whole city centre of Liverpool earlier because a suspect package was discovered in a parked vehicle.

It later turned out to be a tax disc.

Reported for racism. Mods: arrest him.

vivatifosi

An oldie but a goodie:

A man was coming home from work one day. He noticed that there was a lot more traffic than normal. As he got further up the road all of the traffic had come to a halt.
He saw a policeman coming towards his car, so he asked him what was wrong. The cop said, "We are in a crisis situation. Gordon Brown is in the road very upset. He does not have the billions needed to fill his black hole, and everyone hates him. He is threatening to douse himself in petrol and start a fire."
The man asked the police officer exactly what he was doing there.
The policeman said, " I feel sorry for the Prime Minister so I am going car to car asking for donations."
The man asked, "How much do you have so far?"
The police officer replied, "Well as of right now only 99 litres, but many people are still siphoning as we speak!"

treliac

Quote:
Originally Posted by Martinslovechild
They closed the whole city centre of Liverpool earlier because a suspect package was discovered in a parked vehicle.

It later turned out to be a tax disc.

Reported for racism. Mods: arrest him.

Surely not a 'him.' Would a man call himself that?

shuze

Dan: wrote: »

I hope shuze donated his fiver.

Sure did, I even remembered to do the gift aid thingy, so HM govt. is even worse off than before teehee.

thanks for the joke replay, I will treasure it always...

mewbie can I nick your e-tumbleweed? I have a feeling it may come in handy at a later date.

mewbie_2

shuze wrote: »

mewbie can I nick your e-tumbleweed? I have a feeling it may come in handy at a later date.

Of course you can. I nicked it from elsewhere. I am not a fan of emoticons but that one works for most of my 'material'