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Is having a preferred name the same as being known as?
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Sorry was a bit sensitive as all he has done and is continuing to do is cause s**t in every area possible.
A FLO is samily liason officer in a school. It was her decision and she was really excited and happy about now however he has brainwashed her tiny mind and she wants to keep him happy. she is 7. So im going to get the preferred name off today, however she is so confused the poor little mite and just wants everyone to be happy.
It annoys me that someone can have a child not provide for them and then leave when the are 3, not see them for the 2st year and half after that, then see them for all of 3 times the following year, then make up a load of allegations about someone because they are jealous, take you to court and then get everything they want all whilst commiting benefit fraud and not paying maintenence for the child they supposedly care about!!!
sorrry rant over.:o
Apologise again for the outbursts.
Hey, no problem mummy, I understand it must be very difficult for you. :grouphug:
But really, at 7, I think her needs wishes need to be taken into consideration and not be allowed to bulldozed over by her 'father'. Could the flo help you with this?
Poor little mite, she has so much on her shoulders, trying to keep everyone happy, and although it's never nice to have a selfish chilD, butin this instance I think you should encourage her to stand up for what SHE wants.
(Re flo, all I could think of was aunt flo!)Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear0 -
If the school using the SIMS software then there is an option on the record for preferred forename AND preferred surname. Hope that sheds a it of light to other posters, however I wouldn't have a clue about the legality of it and whether you'd be breaking your order. The registers often have the preferred names on but I think this is just a setting that the school can choose when they are printed out.0
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Hi, you can use whatever name you like for day to day purposes, but on legal documents, you MUST use your legal surname in this case.On school records it asks for surname then legal surname, so you've done nothing wrong.:A Your Always in my heart, you never ever will be forgotten-9/9/14:heart2:0
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Thanks to everyone for your comments even though i think i didnt break any order i have changed it back for now as i cant be doing with the aggro it is causing!! I think maybe in a couple of years when she is a little older and if she still wants the name to be different i will take it to the court again to get that rule taken off. (thats if it doesnt get taken to court again before then if he continues to break his parts)
Again many thanks as i couldn't find any information on the internet about this matter x0 -
Thanks to everyone for your comments even though i think i didnt break any order i have changed it back for now as i cant be doing with the aggro it is causing!! I think maybe in a couple of years when she is a little older and if she still wants the name to be different i will take it to the court again to get that rule taken off. (thats if it doesnt get taken to court again before then if he continues to break his parts)
It's a horrible situation for you and it sounds as if he's doing things to get at you rather than having any interest in his daughter so it's best to do as you plan. Try not to let him get at you. He will probably give you the opportunity to ask the court again about this and, as your daughter gets older, her requests will be taken more seriously. Stick to the letter of the law now and you'll win out.0 -
I'm sorry but I'm of the opinion that you did break the order, and that there is no excuse for it. The order said plainly that your child was not to be known as any other name than that of the birth father. Therefore if the child is called Jane Smith in school (ie her stepdad's name) but her birth name is Jane Doe, then it doesn't matter whether the school paperwork also has the Jane Doe name on it, she is being known to the school, the teachers working in it, and the other parents as Jane Smith.
Your child is 7, and to be honest she is too young to take a decision to change her surname to that of your current partner, whether or not you dislike her natural father and tell your daughter he was just a "sperm donor". It was your responsibility as the parent to ensure that the child was registered as Jane Doe only, and that there was no reference to Jane Smith anywhere at school. Should you be convinced that your child feels strongly about the issue, and is capable of making a permanent decision to change her name, then the only course of action open to you is to apply to the court to set aside their first order.
It is not an option to pick and choose which bits of the law you will follow based on your own prejudices and wishes, and not a good example to be setting your child. The court made its order for a reason, whether you agree with the reason or not, and in the best interests of the child (as it is required to do). If it is now in the best interests of the child to change the order, then it will do so, but as the relationship between you and the child's father has broken down to the extent that you are unable to make joint parenting decisions in the best interests of the child, what the child is called from now on is the court's decision to make, not yours unilaterally0 -
When my son was small, his father and I divorced and I later remarried, when he started school, I simply added my new surname onto his full name and explained to the school why I had done it. (one reason was because they would have automatically assumed I was Mrs ..... (my former surname) if he had retained his fathers name) also I didn't want him to have a different surname from any future siblings had I been lucky enough to bear any!
Gradually he became known just by his new name, and when we applied for a passport, we were told that it would have to be issued in his New name as this is the name he is known by! We visited the passport office with his birth certificate and a copy of our divorce documents and the passport was issued in his new name with no problem, it actually came with a note on one of the pages to say that this person is also known by the name of.....(birth name)!
He is now in his 20's and has had no problems at all with national insurance or anything, which have all been issued with his new name.So we never had to do anything officially to change his name.0 -
Your child is 7, and to be honest she is too young to take a decision to change her surname to that of your current partner, whether or not you dislike her natural father and tell your daughter he was just a "sperm donor". It was your responsibility as the parent to ensure that the child was registered as Jane Doe only, and that there was no reference to Jane Smith anywhere at school. Should you be convinced that your child feels strongly about the issue, and is capable of making a permanent decision to change her name, then the only course of action open to you is to apply to the court to set aside their first order.
It is not an option to pick and choose which bits of the law you will follow based on your own prejudices and wishes, and not a good example to be setting your child. The court made its order for a reason, whether you agree with the reason or not, and in the best interests of the child (as it is required to do). If it is now in the best interests of the child to change the order, then it will do so, but as the relationship between you and the child's father has broken down to the extent that you are unable to make joint parenting decisions in the best interests of the child, what the child is called from now on is the court's decision to make, not yours unilaterally
I never call him a sperm donor in front of her at all and all she knows is that we dont speak, she is too young to be told this, when she is old enough she will realise for herself what he is!
I will be going to the courts about the issue but i will do it when there is more evidence that he is breaking his part as to not having to spend my life in court!
Thanks for you advice tho0
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