What do you enjoy/hate about retirement

margaretfeb

The thing I hate most about RETIREMENT (my husband's retirement that is), is that he is "under my feet" 7 days a week!
No more quiet days, just me and my dog, life was much easier when he was at work. I had all my housework and shopping organised. Now I have to take him with me!
If I go out on my own, I feel guilty.

margaretclare

Are you saying you don't get on with your husband, you don't like his company? Why can't you share the housework and the shopping, enjoy walks out together with the dog?

It sounds as if you and you husband have, over time, drifted into living separate lives and only coming together for meals and bed.

I couldn't live in a set-up like that. If I really felt that strongly about it we would have to split up, divorce even.

Maybe I'm lucky. DH and I enjoy each other's company, we do things together, we have interesting conversations, we have fun together. I couldn't live any other way, and neither could he.

Margaret Clare

nearlyrich

I am in the situation where DH is retired and I still have a few years to go,
:eek: 20 plus if this government keep pushing my pension date forward.

However I have always said I would start to scale back my work committments once my 2 children were through their education, one next summer and the second the year after.

I am sometimes a bit envious of his new life, doing what he wants when he wants, he agrees he has never found it hard to fill the time and some of the jobs he planned to do around the house and garden are still waiting 3 years later.

One of my main reasons for joining this forum was to see that I had all the tips and tricks to get best value from every penny so I can afford to retire early without being too short of cash because I still have a lot of things I want to do.;)

Dora_the_Explorer_5

margaretfeb wrote:

The thing I hate most about RETIREMENT (my husband's retirement that is), is that he is "under my feet" 7 days a week!
No more quiet days, just me and my dog, life was much easier when he was at work. I had all my housework and shopping organised. Now I have to take him with me!
If I go out on my own, I feel guilty.

First off, don't feel guilty - going out on your own will give you things to tell him about which he should find a little interesting, if not downright entertaining. If he doesn't like it, ask him what he would like - there may be room for negotiation. Second off, do everything in your power to get him to go out on his own, so he'll have things to tell you about.
People who have lived a certain way during 40 years of marriage get very used to it, and having to live a very different way on retirement takes a lot of getting used to and a fair bit of adjustment. The current retired generation is the first generation where the majority of couples will retire and spend 20+ years in each others company, so there's no previous experiences of others to fall back on. It's easier for some, and more difficult for others. Nowadays it's suprising how many people divorce after 30 or 40 years of marriage, again something that's rarely happened before.
Finally, don't forget the old joke "I married you for better or for worse, not for lunch!"

I am sometimes a bit envious of his new life, doing what he wants when he wants, he agrees he has never found it hard to fill the time and some of the jobs he planned to do around the house and garden are still waiting 3 years later.

A perfect example of work expanding to fill the time available for it :rotfl:

BertieMeldrew

Sofa_Sogood wrote:

Did you seek out financial advice Bertie? Or was it fairly accounted for by yourself?

In terms of planning my retirement - no... just drew up a spreadsheet with a budget against income. However, I did err on the side of caution... i.e. over-estimating if anything!

I did seek financial advice with some investments...

[Deleted User]

margaretfeb wrote:

The thing I hate most about RETIREMENT (my husband's retirement that is), is that he is "under my feet" 7 days a week!
No more quiet days, just me and my dog, life was much easier when he was at work. I had all my housework and shopping organised. Now I have to take him with me!
If I go out on my own, I feel guilty.

I would give my eye teeth to have my late husband 'under my feet' again.We retired ten years ago, and I lost him three years ago this July. When we retired we 'downsized' the house and moved down to Kent from London as both of our married daughters lived down here. We watched our grandchildren be born, and grow into toddlers and now young people. I took up new hobbies , i.e. I learnt to swim, I went to adult-education classes, I joined the local Family History society (I have always been keen on genealogy)
My husband was quite happy for me to do these things as he knew that I was fulfilling all the things that I never had time for before. We had seven great years, and we always made a point of having at least one day out everyweek for going for a drive and lunch somewhere.
It was our 'day off' from being at home, or with the grandchildren. He filled his time reading,crosswords ,doing odd jobs about our house and our daughters houses.
As my husband was 13 years older than me we always knew that there was a possibility that one day I would be on my own. We had faced that fact nearly 40 years before when we married, and it was something that I knew would happen one day. I still miss him , but as I had already had a lot of outside interests it helped me cope when the time came .
Treasure any time you have with your partner/husband/wife as one day they may not be there to be 'under your feet'
I now travel quite a bit, and if the mood takes me I just up and go.I think my husband was very wise in encouraging me to get outside interests. It still would be better to have someone to come home to and tell about your day though

margaretclare

Treasure any time you have with your partner/husband/wife as one day they may not be there to be 'under your feet'.

JackieO, how I agree with you. I know what widowhood is like. I'm lucky, having been given a 'second chance'. But widowhood is not something I'd wish on my worst enemy. I used to get irritated over silly things when my first husband was alive, and when he died, I was like you - I wished he was still there, still doing all the silly things that used to irritate me so much - like wiping his paintbrush on his handkerchief.

Incidentally, marrying someone older doesn't guarantee that they'll die first. My daughter married a man 10 years older, but unfortunately, she died first aged 39.

The thing I hate most about RETIREMENT (my husband's retirement that is), is that he is "under my feet" 7 days a week!
No more quiet days, just me and my dog, life was much easier when he was at work. I had all my housework and shopping organised. Now I have to take him with me!
If I go out on my own, I feel guilty.

I read this to my now DH. And what he said was: 'If I thought you felt like that about me I would be out of the door. I don't care if I have to go to a grotty bedsit or sleep in the car - I wouldn't stay'. And you'd better believe that he would do just that - he walked out on 2 previous marriages having given them a good go (19 years and 10 years respectively). But to be treated with contempt like that - no, that's not something he or I would ever tolerate. We do have separate interests - he teaches 'silver surfers' and I'm involved in adult literacy - and as Dora says, we have things to talk about to each other.

I had a bad headache during the night and was sick - I slept and dozed most of the day until DH said 'Come on, it's beautifully sunny, put something warm on and come and watch me cut the grass'. Which I did. Just doing simple things together gives us enormous pleasure. And I appreciated the way he took care of me as tenderly as a mother while I was being sick and wanting nothing more than to crawl back to bed.

I can't believe how lucky we are in retirement in this country and yet so many people whinge about it. We have enough income, even if we think we should have more!!! We watched Channel 4 'World without Water' last night. There are people in many countries who don't even have the luxury of turning a tap on and getting fresh clean water to drink and to keep clean. Women our age having to carry pails of water on their heads for miles. People in the richest country in the world - the USA - without water. In the same country, they have to pay for all their medication. My DH gets his insulin free, together with his little test strips at £27.50 for 50 but free to him, and we know of people in the USA who can't afford to pay for them - without their insulin it's a death sentence.

We are so lucky!

Margaret Clare

Sofa_Sogood

BertieMeldrew wrote:

In terms of planning my retirement - no... just drew up a spreadsheet with a budget against income. However, I did err on the side of caution... i.e. over-estimating if anything!

I did seek financial advice with some investments...

Thanks Bertie

I'd better start a spreadsheet.

And to margaretfeb. It's your view obviously, and I think my Mum would have seen it your way. I can't, but good luck ...

pennineman

I'm very newly retired (at 54) and still find it a little odd not to have to go out to work in a morning.

I miss my friends and colleagues at work and the hectic lifetsyle I had,

But, looking at it another way, I don't miss the hectic lifetsyle I had.

I'm slowly beginning to adjust to being able to do the things I want to do when I want to do them.

Being able to sit out in the garden, in the sun, taking my time eating breakfast or lunch is really great. Before, lunch was taken on the move whilst working.

Now, I feel much healthier and can see what work was doing to my health - basically wrecking it.

So, retirement? Wonderful. Now just have to get OH out of her work as soon as is possible.

Thanks for this thread, JackieO.

KMK

I agree! Being retired is wonderful. You really do appreciate the small everyday pleasures that passed you by when you were working. The clematis in my garden gives me so much pleasure now that I have time to admire it each day. I live by the sea and this week the weather has been so beautiful for walks on the beach.

I do not buy books any more. Instead I have the time to read reviews in the papers and then reserve brand new books in the library for 85p. What a wonderful service the public librairies give and yet when I was working I did not have time to use them.

Today I was the oldest student doing a GCSE Spanish oral exam and it did not bother me at all. I do not miss work, which must mean that it was the right time for me to go.