Teaching kids the value of money

chardonnay_2

she sounds like a horror. you and your husband need to sit down with gran and explain that by going behind your back to bail her out she is setting her granddaughter up for a life of debt.

charging her board is a good idea but not if she keeps spending before you get it. do her wages get paid into her bank account? if so get her to set up a standing order to transfer the money each week. you can get the form from her bank and all she needs to do is sign it (you can fill in the details for her) - she will need to realise that if money isn't in account to meet s/o the bank will charge her. it's time she grew up.

make sure you are also not buying her too much with the board money - she should be paying for luxuries herself or saving up for them.

if she continues to treat your house like a hotel, take away her luxuries and make her pull her wait around the house.

good luck

rushnowt

I started a training course over 4 yrs ago now called living with teenagers, LOL and im still going :eek: it was once a week but i go once a month now just to meet up with old and new freinds and keep up with new ideas, obviously ya can tell it aint worked LOL.

She has a tv in her room, given to her by, nan, we took the one we bought her away a couple of yrs ago, but not to go into too much but if we tried to take anything from her now, it would result in violence :eek:

Yes i did stick to my guns at christmas, i felt awful not getting her anything but i had to make a stand and with 4 others to buy for, i aint made of money and she has to learn somehow.

rushnowt

Hiya chardonnay, and thanks for your advice

I know a few of you have read about my plight with my daughter a few months ago, when we had all the problems with her and she left home, it was a really difficult time for us but i was hoping that she would realise what the real worls was like and change her ways.

Unfortunately, the top and bottom of it is, she stayed in the house she was given for 2 weeks, she had 3 warnings within that time and was evicted, she learnt absolutely nothing, shes back home now and worse than ever.

Although she's hardly ever home, she causes nothing but problems when she is, shes argumentative and can become violent when harrased with both her dad and me and the younger kids, so i try to keep things as calm as possible, she doesnt lift a finger around the house and does treat it like a hotel and im just her skivvy

She gets paid by cheque that she has to go and cash somewhere, we have no idea about much stuff because shes very secretive.

Im at my wits end to be honest, i know shes almost 17 and she has to learn from her own mistakes but it just worries me that she spends the way she does and mostly on beer and cigs, my main concern is where she will go to borrow money from and to what lengths.

im sorry to go on so much but i really hope that someone out there as had a similar experience and can give me some adive or encouragment to make me feel that things will get better

Savvy_Sue

Well Rushnowt, have you suggested to your mother that your eldest daughter should move in with her?

Or to your daughter that she should move in with her mate?

And if neither will have her, what does that tell her?

I don't know if that helps at all ... my heart goes out to you!

Spendless

Do you watch Little Angeels on BBC3 Rush?

At the end of the last series - it said they were going to do a series on teenagers.

It hasn't been on yet - but when it is it might give you some ideas you haven't thought of.

chardonnay_2

perhaps the weeks she runs out of money to pay for her board you should just not do anything for her. don't buy her all the nice things she likes, don't buy her any toiletries, makeup, don't do her washings + ironings + put away her clothes + don't cook her any meals. if she treats your house like a hotel then don't treat her like a member of the family. she might learn that her behaviours have consequences.

the idea about getting her to move out to stay with gran is a good one.

good luck - hope things get better.

Lucie_2

My nephew (16) is fantastic with money. He's car mad & can't wait to learn to drive at 17. He's been saving all his birthday money since he was 13 for a car. Now he has a Saturday job in the local chippy (£30 & all the chips you can eat!) & is saving that too. I joked to him that he'd be able to buy a better car than me at this rate & his reply was "ah, but I'll have to pay for the insurance & everything too, so I'm only going to get a cheap car". How mature is that?
Sadly his sister spend money like it's going out of fashion!
My other nephew is currently on a school ski trip to Austria & has earned all his spending money himself (collecting eggs at the local chicken farm). BUT he's decided not to spend very much of it because he wants an iPod. How much he has when he comes home will be a different matter, but at least he's thought about it & realised that if he wants something then sacrifices must be made.

KG

I don't have kids myself, and the sites here are american sites, but you might want to take a look at the sites listed here:

http://www.ltscotland.org.uk/communities/files/lessonsfromtheus.ppt#33

Particularly the sense and dollars website.

KG

1connect

I have 2 Lads, 12 & 13 years old.
When they hit 12 we opened them both a Halifax account
(11 yrs min joining age), they get their own card that allows 'solo card' purchases that they sign for and they can draw out their money at cashpoints, it is not a cheque card so they cant go overdrawn, only ever down to a zero balance. We also applied for online banking for this account, so they can manage it at home.
On the same day we opened the accounts we set up a revolving standing order for an allowance of £5 each which is paid weekly to their accounts.
Also we told their grandparents what we were doing they thought it was a great idea and decided that instead of buying them sweets and other crap and money in hand, they would spoil them in future by also paying £5 a week each by revolving standing order into their accounts.
So now they get £40 a month each
They can see what they have with online banking
They can pay solo for purchases
They can use cashpoints
Also they can see on screen what they have spent money on and how much this builds them a mental picture for future spending

If they are very naughty we ground them and if appropriate they get their payments suspended.

Also we NEVER top up this arrangement

The above also provides a place for their birthday and christmas money to go into, they did this off their own bat, as they were very keen to top up their accounts.

So there you have it, this is what we do, and it works brilliantly.
they become money aware, manage their spending within a budget, and both of them actually have a bit of a cash stash, the next step will be to link a higher rate savings account and get them to transfer the surplus ... just like real life eh...

rushnowt

Savvy_Sue wrote:

Well Rushnowt, have you suggested to your mother that your eldest daughter should move in with her?

Or to your daughter that she should move in with her mate?

And if neither will have her, what does that tell her?

I don't know if that helps at all ... my heart goes out to you!

Thanks Savvy_Sue,

things did get really bad last year and i did insist that my mum had her for a while till things settled, she was still in her last year at school at the time and it meant me having to collect work from school and taking it over to her, but it was worth it for the break.

My mum just about coped for 4 weeks but she was pulling her hair out by the end and told me she's impossible to deal with, which is amazing as she didnt have to deal with a fraction of the stuff we had to while she was at home.

This is really why i dont understand my mums bebehaviour, shes all for backing me up and even suggests ways to deal with stuff but then softens as soon as it comes to it. :mad:

As for her friends, she does stay out most of the time, but most of her friends have given up on her now, to me she's just a sponger and is at her happiest when they are dishing out to her, but when it comes to giving back i think they've started to realise what she's like, its just a shame she wont listen to me or realise what she's doing to them, if i try to talk to her she just storms off and pays no attention.