partner's self employed work has practically

Deals_2

dried up and when i try and talk about our next step as a couple for work etc to share the burder am told am a nag. think he is depressed and cannot deal with things but i need to deal with it and when as a couple i think things should be discussed. my friend thinks he is putting his head in the sand . any help appreciated.

spirit

I empathise with you there, my now ex husband and I faced the same thing. Mine truly did stick his head well and truly in the sand. I used to come home from work and he'd be in his study 'working'. Unbeknown to me he'd been doing nothing all day (apart from annoying the neighbours practising playing his drums). His sitting at his desk when I got in was to fool me into thinking he had been busy all day and still working.

He's accusing you of nagging because he doesn't want to face up to it. Yes it does sound like he is depressed too and should be encouraged to see his GP.

Are you working? Do you have children? You may be entitled to some benefits although the guys on the benefits boards would be better at advising you further.

Good luck

adecor

Problem is men often see themselves as the breadwinner of the family & when they can't provide for you anymore they regard themselves as a failure - everyone knows these days that's rubbish, but think this is a ground in 'rule' for some.

Can't you try and get him to look at other avenues of work (even salaried). Maybe it would be a good if the ideas came from another member of your family (like his mum).

Deals_2

he thinks he knows it all! but i know that he is also angry that if he goes for a job and it is him against others he keeps saying that are more likely to take on a single person than him with children. very hard to deal with . he is very good at what he does and very capable and multi-skilled/talented but dont think he realises at times!!!

adecor wrote: »

Problem is men often see themselves as the breadwinner of the family & when they can't provide for you anymore they regard themselves as a failure - everyone knows these days that's rubbish, but think this is a ground in 'rule' for some.

Can't you try and get him to look at other avenues of work (even salaried). Maybe it would be a good if the ideas came from another member of your family (like his mum).