*Updated - more confused now* Joint tenancy, or tenants in common?

gazza007

No you are not paraniod, he is just protecting his interests in the short term doesn't mean that he doesn't love or care for you. If things work out fine or you marry it can all be changed. I would suggest you do the same & draw up an agreement as I suggested earlier.

Barney088

I agree, not paranoid at all, my partner (now lovely wife and mother of three children) set up the same thing when we first got together. I always felt stiched up as her mum is a solicitor (joke) but we both knew the potential.

We did set up a will to give each other the share on death but to keep half each if we spilt in any other circumstance.

I'd say that statistically you are more likey to spilt up than die. Happy valentines by the way.

beckstrous

Barney088 wrote:

However, if you go with one over the other think about death, sad as it may be. In common the estate of the dead one will own the house and this is why the will would be an important thing to get sorted. In worst case scenario the estate could move in, that's you mother and father in law (I know you not married) his sister, brother. They could decisde to rent the house out, they could insist on it being sold.

Thanks, both of you, but I am worried about what you said above Barney. I don't know his parents at all. I have only met them once so they could effectively kick me out or do whatever they wanted. I'm not saying they will, but a year down the line or whatever if something unthinkable happened and he died, I then have to make some arrangements with people I don't know in order to protect what i would have come to look upon as my home. It's not about money or anything like that, if that makes any sense.

It's different from his point of view as he does know my parents. They are really easy-going people (not saying his aren't) and would always want to do the best thing, whatever that was. i am not suggesting his wouldn't be the same - they seemed like nice people - it's just the pure and simple fact that I do not know them at all. The reason for this is that they live up North and I don't feel a part of his family at all, whereas my parents, sister and brother in law (and my brother in law's parents) do consider him a part of ours. I do not resent him for that, it's just the way things are. Also, I think my family are, in a sense, less private than his. That is not a criticism of his family - my parents are old hippies basically.

It's not the agreement saying that x% is his and x% is mine that bothers me - I've no problem with that - it's just because he's effectively said he would prefer to have anything he put into our home go to his parents, I now don't know if he is as wholehearted about the whole thing as I am.

suki1964

I know where you are coming from. When me and (now) DH bought our first house, I had to bite my tongue whilst pension, half share and insurance all went to his his kids. At the time he was protecting those whos needs were more then mine, over time as the kids grew up things changed to my favour and well now we are married I inherit the lot untill I pass then it goes to his children (ive never wanted children). Its not that he doesnt love me enough or isnt comitted, just wants to see everyone right

beckstrous

Thank you again...I think we have sorted it now and you are right, he is commited, but wanted to make sure his parents would be OK in the event of his death. Which is perfectly understandable and natural and which I would want (for his parents as well as mine) too. I think he will make sure it happens via a will instead.

Gosh it's all soooo complex. thanks to everyone who replied. I really appreciate but never know when I am supposed to push the thanks button, as I want to thank everyone really!

suki1964

Glad you have it sorted and feel happier

Just remember house buying is the most stressful thing you will go through - planning a wedding will be a piece of cake after this

jesster_2

Out of interest - and while we're being morbid about death and things - there was a tax specialist chap on Richard and Judy tonight talking about inheritance tax.

He said it's a good idea for many people, including married couples, to own their houses as tenants in common. The impression i got from him was that this meant that each person could use their full tax-free threshold of £275k before any inheritance tax would be due in the event of a death. I'm sure someone who knows more will correct me if i'm wrong, but i think that meant the house could go up to 2 x the threshold, or £550k, in value before it would be liable for the tax. If you own it jointly then you only get one person's threshold, so the max is £275k. He said this would mean far fewer people would have to sell up on the event of someone's death in order to cover the tax.

Like i say, i could have misunderstood him as i was making fajitas at the time, but more info on channel4.com/richard&judy apparently...

sleepy

I saw that too, but as far as I could tell, it only applied if you both died at the same time. Otherwise when one of you dies, if they leave their half to you, when you died your estate would still own the whole thing.

Barney088

Just going back a few posts, you mentioned that he wanted to know his parents would be OK in the event of his death.

Why? I'm not being rude but what does he need to make sure that they are OK for. I want my children to be financially secure if I die before they are old enough to fend for themselves but my parents would not and do not need my support.

I don;t want you to start a fight with him but if he wants to ensure that they get, say £100K on his death it would be possible to take a life policy for this ammount, and leave the property to you, the love of his life? The life policy would give him £100K on his death, he can ensure that this money goes to Mum & Dad.

I guess the reason he wants to make sure they are OK financially will potentially offer a few more solutions.

claz

my partner and i have taken out a level term life assurance property, this means that we will always get £135,000 if either one of us dies so we will be able to pay off the mortgage and have money to make sure all other bills etc can be paid

are his mum and dad not very well off? and is this why he is worried, unfortunalty i agree with barney i mean this is extreme and unlikely to happen but what happens if he passes away and then you find out your pregnant a month later (it has been known to happen)

if you haven't managed to talk to him properly about this perhaps you should let him read this thread and then he can see other people views as well