Private Fostering Or Not???

tori.k

My best friend past away 2 weeks ago, leaving behind a 15 yr old son he had been with me a few days before his mum had passed, social services contacted me the day after to say"they were aware that i had him and if i was happy for him to remain in my care for the time being they would leave us be till after the arrangments for mum had been sorted" after some advice on here i phoned them back a week later just to say that i had him with me as the law states i had to contact them, gran/grandad have parental rights over him as mum had been a single parent and they are happy for him to continue living with hubby and me, so as far as im concerned its a private fostering..and we are happy to take finacial responsiblity for him...but there seems to be a issue if its classed as a private fostering as i am not related she was my best friend for over 20 yrs....its his wish to stay with us as his life is in our town and he has been thru enough upset ,and his grandparents live elsewhere. i talked to someone who has fostered in the past and she told me as i cant provide him with his own room (he shares with my 14 yr old son like he always does when he stays) and as i have 2 younger children (boys aged 11 &14) they might not be to keen on letting him stay with us...does anyone know if it would be a private fostering or just a fostering? i have spoken to the short term/private fostering services but he didnt seem to know either but didnt see a reason why if we are all happy that due to him being 15 that they wouldnt leave him where he is, we will have a meeting next week...is this just me worrying about nothing? i just want to do best by the lad....sorry for the long post...everything is just a mess at the moment...

katiejones

Hi, sorry that i cannot help. I do remember the thread you started before, just wanted to ask - when will he be 16?

tori.k

he will be 16 in october

oscarbobbins

I foster for a local authority and they always bear in mind the childrens wishes. If he wants to remain with you social services will probably honour what he wants. At nearly 16 he is nearly an adult and I know my authority is very reluctant to step in and remove children of that age and put them into foster placements (they usually run away!!). Good Luck - I have fostered teenagers for 6 years now and it is never boring!

easilydistracted

Hi Tori.k

You are best working everything out with the involved social worker, however generally the difference between private fostering and fostering is that with fostering the arrangement is made by 'social services'- (now Children and Young People's Services) when they already have care orders for the children and with private fostering it is a private agreement by the parent. If the grandparents have a residence order or parental responsiblity I would think then it would be classed as a private agreement between you and the grandparents if there is no care order. However its not a situation I've come across before (I'm a social worker who has done a few private fostering assessments).

The private fostering assessment is a lot less complicated than being assessed as a foster carer for a child you don't know although involves various checks. I wouldn't think anyone would expect you to have a bedroom just for him although they would for someone applying generally to be a foster carer. Hopefully the social worker should be able to put you in the direction of extra support. Private fostering applies to children under 16 or under 18 if they are disabled. There is a website https://www.someoneelseschild.org.uk which is meant to explain things better but is actually a bit scary. However there is a link on one of the pages to each local authority's website which should explain whats involved.

By the way if there is a care order involved things are a bit more complicated although the lack of spare bedroom wouldn't necessarily rule you out as you are someone connected to the family personally. I am sure the meeting will be fine and don't worry- social workers aren't generally as scary/ inept as the papers like to make out.

easilydistracted

[Deleted User]

You are in a private foster carer, it's a legal term used by us social workers. All it means is the authority will check on the childs welfre but is not responisble for him in full nor will they pay they you. So long as you are happy, the child is happy and there are no concerns things will carry on as they have been with odd phone calls or visits, until he is 16 or 18 if he has needs.

It's just a means of making sure children dont slip through the net, being looked after someone who ends up hurting them, as in Victoria Climbie who was murdered by her aunt.

More information here http://www.wirral.gov.uk/LGCL/100010/200046/content_0000295.html

Savvy_Sue

I am sorry for the loss of your best friend, and for this lad on the loss of his mother.

How soon is he 16? The closer he is to 16, the less likely it is that Social Services will want to remove him from your care. They are probably just highly relieved that they haven't had to find a placement for him at short notice. Yes, they have to carry out checks but you'd expect and welcome that, wouldn't you?

Don't forget you can claim Child Benefit for him, and if he stays on at school then he should apply for EMA. Not a lot, but every little helps.

415SanFran

I know this sounds silly but are you the child's Godparent?
I know that is not legally binding, but it would show in writing that this was your friends wishes.

Savvy_Sue

You might also find this thread useful.

tori.k

thanks for all the advice...no i dont have any worry's with social services "checking us out" both hubby and myself have crb checks as i work in a care home and he is a cabby...he is not my god son SanFran as mum was not religious, but in my eyes he is my nephew and in his im Aunt tor....he was under social services watchful eyes...lol...as mum had a mental heath issue...but she is a great mum and altho he was her carer they didnt have any worry's on that score and just left them to it, i just dont want any more upset he has been thru enough over the last year, i just want him settled, its a big year as its exam year and that will be enough stress by itself, i suppose like so many i've just lost faith in the system, thanks again

tori.k

The mess continues.....
im hoping that someone with experience with social sevices can enlighten me
We thought that we were in a private fostering arrangment,after my friend died.
A social worker paid a visit to us and the lad we are looking after grandfather and were happy to let us get on with it and started the assesment, we have since had a phone call from the social worker saying their legal team says it cannot be a private fostering as no-one has PR on the lad, we all thought that PR went to the grandparents as next of kin, not the case it seems.
And we now have to apply for a resident order and we have to make a socitors appointment to do this.
Does anyone have any idea of the cost involved to do this?
We are on a real tight budget at the moment like most, child benefit and DLA have yet to pass on his benefits as yet, our working tax wont pay out for an extra child untill child benefit do,
social services tell us they are not finanically responsible,
we can cope with the day to day expenses and are more than happy to have the lad living with us, but surely social sevices should be paying for the resident order not us?,we have almost wiped out our savings as it is as he came with not much more than the shirt on his back, i did try and contact my MP but he never returned my messages,
This should be so simple,:(