court order payments

koolmummy

Damzel_In_Distress wrote: »

What a lovely motherly instinct you've got...You baby will be so lucky :rolleyes: /quote]

Now that's just not nice. Whether we agree or disagree with the view of the OP there really is no need to be saying things like this.

Damzel_In_Distress

koolmummy wrote: »

What a lovely motherly instinct you've got...You baby will be so lucky :rolleyes: /quote]

Now that's just not nice. Whether we agree or disagree with the view of the OP there really is no need to be saying things like this.

Perhaps in your opinion,not,and i respect that but i find it difficult not get angered when any woman thinks her new partners other children are somehow worth and deserve less than the child she is having.:rolleyes:

How anyone can call themselves a mother and then go on to view children in that manner is concerning.

And really in my honest opinion she deserves nothing less than what i have said,and i wouldnt feel any sort of pity or sorrow if she came pack posting she was getting no money from her childs father in a few years as in this case its deserved.

koolmummy

Damzel_In_Distress wrote: »

Perhaps in your opinion,not,and i respect that but i find it difficult not get angered when any woman thinks her new partners other children are somehow worth and deserve less than the child she is having.:rolleyes:

How anyone can call themselves a mother and then go on to view children in that manner is concerning.

And really in my honest opinion she deserves nothing less than what i have said,and i wouldnt feel any sort of pity or sorrow if she came pack posting she was getting no money from her childs father in a few years as in this case its deserved.

I absolutely disagree with the Op's view. I am the wife of a NRP and we struggle to pay a large amount of maintenance via the CSA. The reality is that my step son does not see the benefit of the money as his mum spends a large part of her income on booze and cigarettes and fails to pay her rent. Consequently my step son has moved home 5 times in 4 years as she is always being evicted. He has a rubbish diet at home and no decent clothing/ shoes etc. |

I am the on the other hand am a PWC of 4 children, their father earns over £100k per annum and has paid nothing in over 5 years. The CSA have started committal proceedings and his debt is now nearly £40k all of which would be payable to me in the unlikely event that he pays, we work and do not receive any benefits.

My husband and I struggle tro pay the CSA for his son and all the associated costs of traveling 240 miles per week to have him for the weekend and to provide him with decent clothes etc. We struggle to pay all of the enormous costs of having 5 children. Do I begrudge his son the CSA money?- absolutely not. We have never missed a payment and believe it is part of our responsibility as parents to pay.

I have every reason to feel aggrieved but I stand by the fact that I think that your comment to the OP was very unpleasant.

Damzel_In_Distress

Well you should be very proud of your morals and family.

And as i said i can understand you opinion on what i said,and i respect it,but also stand by my view.

Fullhouse

I am also the wife of a NRP and we have continued to make payments to CSA even though OH is not working or claiming any kind of benefits (money comes out of my wages). I also do not begrudge this, shared finances and all that!! I am on a dmp with CCCS, and I do know that they will take into account maintenance payments when working out your budget, so maybe it is worth looking to reduce your payments to your DMP (£100 per monthfor food is just not realistic as I'm sure your dmp company will agree!!)

emlou2009

i think the key thing to remember here is that everybodys situation is different. she openly boasts that she doesnt struggle for money as mummy and daddy are wealthy and give her handouts left right and centre yet she still claims benefits for everything she possibly can, obviously these handouts arent getting reported to the relevant people! she drives and fuels a range rover sport, somehow i doubt that she could even afford to insure it on the money she receives from benefits and the csa!

i think its very harsh for you to comment on my motherly instinct, my motherly instinct is to provide for my child the best i can which if i have no money to do so i cant. if i thought there was any chance of the child going without then i would undoubtably have a different opinion. when this woman was pregnant she didnt bother telling my partner and it was only a week after the baby was born and she was trying to claim benefits that she was told she would have to go through the csa, and so sent him a text while she was in the benefit office to say he was a daddy and the csa would be in touch shortly! my partner was heartbroken despite only being 17 at the time, he loves children and feels that he missed out on a huge part of his daughters life and he has just been used as a benefit generator. i dont begrudge him paying money, i know it is his financial responsibility, his daughter was part of his life years before i was and despite the fact the payments are so high i have not complained once in the time we have been together until i have been trying to work out where out money is going to go over the next few months, i agree wholeheartedly it is his duty to pay his way! i have been covering over half the rent and buying all food for both of us not to mention covering all costs for our car since we moved in together but for the time being i am on maternity leave with under half of my usual wages coming in, the csa taking £305 per month out of his minimum wage, the council refusing to take into account these payments which make us ineligble for any help with our rent, there is nothing else we can do but try to reduce these payments to make ends meet. if money was easier i wouldnt have spent hours trawling the internet to try and save some, i stumbled across an article that said the payments could be reduced and as far as i was concerned it was a complete lifesaver - not an excuse to get out of payments but a way for us to actually make ends meet!

thank you fullhouse, we are with the cccs and contacted them on monday for a budget review but our budget is so tight even they agreed that £100 per month is all we can put by for food, we are only making token payments to our creditors currently at the moment as it is, there is literally nowhere else that any money can come from.

LizzieS_2

TBH from what you've explained about when & how he became aware of fatherhood, I get the distinct impression that she had no intentions of either telling him or asking for money - it's the benefits claim that forced her hand.

What people have doesn't always give a true picture of their finances - she could have more debts than you. Grandparents may well be helping out generously, but to be fair it is not compulsory for them to pick up shortfalls on behalf of both parents.

Is the £305 to cover an existing schedule and arrears, or just arrears?