Help Me :-(

Loui1979

I have had a Lloyds TSB mortgage now for two weeks.

Thing is, i have a joint mortgage with my boyfriend (of one year) and two weeks into the mortgage i am having second thoughts about the whole thing and finishing with my partner.

I really dont know what to do :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

How does it work if i cancel the whole thing?

Doozergirl

Oh dear. You know it's supposed to be harder to get out of a mortgage than a marriage?

You will have to sell the house and hope that you can get more than you paid for it in order to cover the legal and agent's costs. Otherwise, one of you can try to buy the other out if they have enough of a deposit and can get a big enough mortgage on their own. That person will have to apply for a new mortgage and both of you will need solicitors.

You may also have a penalty to pay on the mortgage if you redeem it so soon within any tie-in period - it could be 2% of the value of your home or more. You'll need to speak to the bank to find out if there are penalties and how much they will be.

Either way, it's going to cost money. I'd be considering very hard whether your relationship is salvageable, otherwise, you'll have to take it as a very expensive and stressful lesson.

[Deleted User]

This is a very difficult situation. I think your options are either to sell which means both of you could lose out. Another option could be for you to move out and see if you can sublet one of the bedrooms. This of course could pay your share of the mortgage. But your first step is to talk to your partner and of course if he would be willing to sublet. He may be difficult and not accommodating to your suggestion. Either way, it's a very hard lesson for you to learn.

Loui1979

I feel so sad. I know it dont matter but i am just 20yrs old.
I dont know what i want. _pale_ _pale_ _pale_ _pale_ _pale_ :wall: :wall: :wall: :wall: :wall: :wall:

Doozergirl

What's making you have second thoughts? Is it something that could change? Have you talked about it with your boyfriend?

Every relationship goes through bad patches, some worse than others. But these can be the things that make your relationship stronger; each time you struggle and come through the other end, you know next time that you will beat it.

Here's my favourite piece of prose from Captain Corelli's Mandolin...

"Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being in love, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two."

Heth_2

So did you just buy the house 2 weeks ago, or a year and a half ago?
First I'd think about what you really want for a while, don't rush in to anything. Perhaps your relationship is just going through a bad patch and you can work things out. It does seem that you have done a big step very young, and getting out could be costly.
What is your house like? If you have more than 1 bedroom you could rent one out, so you don't have to live together. If not, assuming one of you can't buy the other out, then you'll have to sell. Chances are you'll have a redemption fee on the mortgage, especially if you took out a fixed deal, as well as the costs of selling/buying to recoup.

Loui1979

Well, Heth - we actually bought the house two weeks ago.

Thanks for that passage Doozergirl :T i will have a tidy read tomorrow as leaving work now.

I am going to stay with my mum for tonight. Basically for the past few weeks i have been feeling mixed feelings and thought they would go away when we moved in. I think it was the final strew yesterday when he went out and didnt come back til late and turned out he'd been with some girls that he classes as friends but i am not sure. (even though i do trust him).

We do have quite a spaceous house and If it comes to the worst, we do have two bedrooms spare anyway.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. :cool:

If i could turn back time.

tanith

I hope things do look better tomorrow and living together is always a case of adjustment to begin with .

If things do not get better maybe you could rent out the house for the time being , maybe 6mths and then see how things are ?

Best of luck and don't forget to ask your Mum for advice.....

frugglewump

The best piece of advice I got when starting this whole house-buying business was to remember that after the stress of dealing with the sale there was bound to be a month or so when it will be hard to see why it was worth it.

claz

my partner and i are due to move on friday and we have had one problem after another with the purchase.

it has taken 3 months in total and during that time we have nearly come to blows (on my part more than his) during arguments and we are still having problems at this late stage

buying a house is so stressful but we found that the only thing that got eachother through was one and other. its worth sitting down and talking your feelings through you have made a comitment to him perhaps its worth explaining what you expect from him in a relationship and then he knows why you get p****ed off, also perhaps see it from his point of view that he can finally chill out properly again after all the stress of moving

Barney088

They do say that buying a house is the most stressful thing that you can take on.

I really hope that you can resolve it but if not your mortgage offer will have it written in black and white exactly what it will cost you to get ou of the mortgage and sell up.

However it's not your only option, you could rent it out, stay there and rent a room to someone?

Don't rush into anything, give it couple of weeks and see what come along.