Just told mother to like it or lump it or stump up the cash!

nat82

After telling my mum about my black cab idea and her freaking out about it I have now informed her that I am seriously thinking about using artificial flowers from https://www.sarahsflowers.com - I think I nearly tipped her over the edge! So far:

Not getting married in a church :eek:
Going to hotel in black cab :eek:
Getting dress from Landy :eek:
now artificial flowers :eek:

Before she could get into full flow I told her it was my wedding and my money and seeing as she wasn't paying then she would just have to accept the way we are doing things and that the important thing is that we're getting married and why should I break the bank for everyone elses sake? I don't need the approval of everyone else! :mad:

I'm fed up with her criticising every aspect of my day. I am dreading taking her with me to try my dresses on and I wish I could just go and do it without her but the trouble it would cause wouldn't be worth it.

The problem is that my sister had 'THE' wedding but also had my mum pay for her £3000 dress and her inlaws stump up cash as well as paying for their honeymoon. Unfortunately we are paying for it all ourselves which makes a huge difference to the type of wedding we are having (although I am happy with all the choices we have made).

She asked about the black cab again - and I've told her again if she wants to pay the £600 it's going to cost to hire 2 wedding cars then she can go ahead but if not then she'll be taxying it with me!

I sometimes wonder if we should just go away and come back married!

Thanks for 'listening' while I let off steam!

x x x

val_84

Hi Nat,

Thats not a good situation but well done for telling her. Hopefully it will make her realise that it is your day and she needs to just be happy for it. she should be glad that you are independent and dont need her to pay for the wedding.

Hope things work out

floss2

"He who pays the piper calls the tune" springs to mind........ and I think you've done the right thing by sticking to your budget - as you have said, if she wants to help out financially, then fine, but if you are paying, you have the right to chose how you spend your own cash!

ellionic

:T Good for you stand your ground its YOUR wedding NOT HER'S
I had the same thing happen to me not from my mam but my gran, I thought she was going to have a heart attack when i told her i was not getting married in church :rolleyes:
As long as you both love each other she should be happy even if this means getting married in the middle of a field wearing a black bag.
Oh and whats up with Landy dresses they are fab and i think thats more than enough to pay for just one day.

space_rider

I got married but it wasn`t my wedding. It was my mum and Gran`s. My sister got married and it was her wedding and her husbands as they paid. My mum wasn`t happy and was really horrid to my sister who was frequently on the phone to me in tears. I had to tell my mum enough is enough and it was my sisters wedding and not hers.

My sister had a great day and I enjoyed it too. It was much better than my own wedding. If I did it again, I would just go off somewhere and tell my mum when it`s done.

QueenBee

Did your mum bring you up to be a free thinking, independent young woman? Then it's her fault that you have a mind on your own..... good for you! Wishing you a lovely day and that your cheeks hurt from all the smiling

emilyt

Good on you.:D
Tell her marriage is all about compromise.

nat82

Thank you all so much for your lovely replies! I was beginning to feel a tad guilty but I know I'm in the right. She has criticised every aspect of my wedding so far and I'm at the stage now where I don't want her to know anymore details.

Thanks again!

x x x

nat82

Oops - double reply! How'd that happen! lol!

I can't work this damn thing!

Minxy_Bella

Nat - you are in the right!

My mum was exactly the same as yours and I said the same to her - 'if me and him indoors are paying for it, then you'll just have to put up with it.'

But I know my mum rather well and when I mentioned going for silk flowers, she went nuts and paid £500 for real ones (Yes, I know!!!! but a friend of her's had used the florist - the best in town yada yada so it's all about point scoring with the older generation lol!) Hehe!

She wants champagne at the reception and as we can't afford it, then she's paying for that too. Everybody wins!

Oh and btw, my mum is chuffed to pieces with the Landy dress - she lives in Asia and got her local tailor to make my bridesmaids' dresses for £30 each - they look amazing! I just wish I'd thought earlier to get him to do the dress but I'm sure he wouldn't have done a better job that Ivan & co! LOL

So you stick to your guns, hun and I'm sure she'll stump up for any extras that she deems 'essential' but make sure you're happy with them too!

xxxx

*Louise*

I think you are quite right, good for you for sticking to your guns

But OMG at her paying 3k for your sister's dress!! :eek: Isn't she going to do the same for you? (Sorry, I'm just of the opinion that all kids are treated the same) That amount could cover the cars, the dress, AND the flowers