To all BR's.....

Squoshes

To all BR's I am just entering into this deep and dark tunnel (not applied for as yet!) and I was wondering:-
1) Are you happy with your decision to take on a BR?
2) Would you do it again?
3) Why not an IVA?
Indecision I am afraid and looking for guidance, can you help?

headoutofsand

Hi there. I am going through BR at the moment and it is something I have to do rather than wanting to do.
Please give us some background information so that we can help. That's if you want to. We all help each other as best we can. Well done for getting started:beer:

ATWHITZEND

It's hard to make the decision, but I feel much better for it.

headoutofsand

ATWHITZEND wrote: »

It's hard to make the decision, but I feel much better for it.

I know what you mean. Please feel free to carry on, once I started posting everything started getting better and plans were drawn up. Now I can't stop posting and my OH thinks I have secret internet lover.

Seriously the folk on here are top draw and are very sympathetic to ones needs. There is absolutley no shame in having either financial or other problems so post away. See you soon

Regards Hoos.

Squoshes

Sorry, if it sounded like there was any negative judgement in my questions, just wanted to get a "feel" of how people felt? will post more info later.

tigerfeet2006

If you have a read through threads on here you will see how people have changed. Have a read of some of the diaries too. Scarlett.1974 's and wherediditallgo 's are interesting reading.

peachyprice

One thing I will say is that no matter how deep or dark you think the BR tunnel might be, it's nowhere near as deep or dark as neverending, unsurmountable debt.

Merry_Gentry

To all BR's I am just entering into this deep and dark tunnel (not applied for as yet!) and I was wondering:-

1) Are you happy with your decision to take on a BR?
It was the only decision available to me at the time - my XHTB went, and following advice regarding the joint debts I had no choice but to go BR too.

2) Would you do it again?
Yes, without hesitation. The marriage was on it's last legs, and this enabled us to make a clean break. There are no assets to argue over, so it makes it possible to be slightly more amicable than otherwise. I don't have his debts hanging over me, or vice versa. I guess my position is slightly different to other people because it wasn't a choice - once XHTB and I had made the decision that it was the right thing for him, it was the only thing for me.

3) Why not an IVA?
An IVA wasn't possible for him, and bankruptcy was definitely the right move. We had negative equity in the house but decided to let it be repossessed anyway.

For me, bankruptcy has enabled a fresh start. No, it hasn't been easy. I have had several 'money' disasters - car costing over £750 to fix, finding rented accommodation for me and my three girls after going bankrupt was/is not easy, I personally felt ashamed of having reached that stage, although the shame has faded and I realise it was the most responsible thing I could have done.

But on a positive note, I know how much money I have to the exact penny; I owe no one anything; my elder children have a good appreciation for how much things costs, and understand that money is something to treat with respect - however, they also know that money and things aren't everything.

I don't know if my XHTB would have the same view - he had a very different attitude to money to me anyway - but I know now that I am a much stronger person than I had realised because every day I am making good decisions.

A few people asked me why I wasn't angrier with my XHTB - from the outside, I lost everything - home, marriage, etc. But I gained so much more - my freedom from him, from debt, and a better life for my children because their Mummy is a happier person.

It is by no stretch of the imagination an easy way out - I chose to tell family and friends, learnt who some of my friends were, and gained some new ones. But I am actually in a better position for the current 'crunch' than many people I know. I've kinda lost everything - what else can I lose?

There are an amazing bunch of people on here who will help you, support you, make you laugh, and be there when you cry. I can't say if it's the right move for you because I don't know your story, but I can say that the people on this board won't judge you if you are honest and open.

AAW_2

I too am taking the first steps and its frightening the hell out me.....one thing is that I know its the right choice for me and the people on this forum have put my mind at rest on lots of occasions.....I'm currently down to only worrying 23 hours of the day now!!

Seriously though - I have a friend who has been through it and has not regretted a single thing.....a fresh start without all the worry

I'm not actually worried about going bankrupt...its the OR interview that i'm terrified of. I'm not sure if thats the same for everyone else, it would be interesting to hear what the most frightening thing about bankruptcy has been for all those people who have been through it and whether the worry was all worth it!!!!

Also I'd like to hear what is going through the minds of the people in the same position as myself and Sqoshes.
I'm sure we can all help each other through this chapter of our lives and come out stronger people for it!!

2Loose

1) Are you happy with your decision to take on a BR?
If I hadn't I think I would be a lot unhappier than I am, which is to say that I am a lot happier after doing it than the 2 years before.

2) Would you do it again?
I will never get into that position again. Ever.

headoutofsand

Good for you AAW:beer: