Mortgage and/or Child Maintenance

PaulBrian

Gosh ... not a nice set of circumstances! I'm amazed he has the neck to be asking for any capital out of the marriage!

Yes ... I'm afraid there seems to be little or no reward for playing fair! As I see things my responsibility and concerns end with my kids and beyond that the lifestyle and comfort of my ex comes a distant second.

mitchaa

You are being taken for a ride my friend.

1 or the other, not both.

mitchaa

Calculate what income she has, including her salary, her benefits, child maintenance and the fact that she does not pay for a roof over her head and then compare that to what you have left over every month after forking out for your new home, your old home and your CM

I suspect she will be a lot ''wealthier'' than you are probably about 4 or 5x worth.

Give her the bare minimum CSA entitlement and then if you want to spend any extra, do so directly on the children by buying them presents. How dare she think she can take you for an easy ride, 1 or the other, either pay the mortgage or pay the CM but not both, you have a life too.

In the nicest possible way. grow yourself some balls (I mean that in a nice way so no offence meant)

PaulBrian

I think she is being very opportunistic. Before the interest rates came tumbling down the quote I got for Interest-Only tracker mortgage was £920 (more that double what the Child Maintenance contribution would be). Had interest rates stayed where they were that's what I would have paid. And of course I had to fund the rest of my life and living from the reduced balance of my salary.

Fact is that for the first time in two years I have a bit of financial breathing space and can attend to a family debt that arose very soon after the split.

She clearly sees the reduction in interest rates as an opportunity for her to feather her own nest, rather than for me to save for the future and/or service family debts.

Yes I need balls! She will probably enquire now with the CSA to get statutory child maintenance but the moment she does that I clearly have to revisit my treatment of the mortgage payment and at the very minimum get her to agree a 50/50 split on interest repayments. Or is 50/50 being too fair?

Leothecat

I think your wife is doing very very well out of you indeed.
My DH and I have recently seperated. I am continuing to live in the house in the family home with DD. DH pays half of mortgage, council tax, gas, electric and house insurance as I could not afford to pay these on my own. This month and next there is no council tax to pay and I have let DH know this si he has less to pay. I find this extremely fair as he no longer has the benefit of living in this house. Mind you, our split was amicable - perhaps yours was not?

Leothecat

In fact, I would ge as far as to say she is being very greedy expecting you to pay the difference into a savings account!! Let her go to the CSA if she wishes - you are being more than fair.

PaulBrian

Thanks Leo ... yes the split was amicable insofar as one can be ... certainly no history of aggro and no affairs or gambling debts etc ... we just couldn't go on together.

Why can't she be more like you, Leo?

kelloggs36

I'm not surprised it was amicable on her part - if my ex paid my mortgage plus child support I would have been extremely happy - but to expect to pay MORE than the mortgage plus child support is pure greed. Like Cher, my ex paid nothing towards the mortgage, left me with debts up to my eyeballs, had the cheek to want to keep the money from the Halifax shares when he had contributed nothing towards the mortgage for the previos 5 years (I got them in the end!!) and then paid nothing in child support - rejected his daughter out of hand until he was FORCED to pay his child support by remortgaging his home or face jail. He chose to remortgage (finally saw sense). He still owes me just under £2k and is refusing to do that now (he SAYS he isn't working, but I don't believe him as he lies so frequently - I'm investigating it!!) I struggled for years to pay my mortgage and cover all the costs towards my child (family credit award was £1 per week which I didn't bother claiming!!! - They didn't pay towards childcare costs then so I was worse off for working - luckily my mum had her).

I feel you are being taken for a mug and you must stand up to her. I feel a 50/50 split is incredibly generous bearing in mind the child support which covers the costs of a home for the child - and her of course but she is as Mitcha says at the moment, much better off than you and this is not how it works - not to say that she can't be better off than you, but in the right conditions, ie her job pays her well!! Let her fight you and take you to court for spousal maintenance OR get a court order for you to pay the full mortgage, but don't do it until forced (if indeed you are).

simpywimpy

If you continue to pay the full mortgage I think you should be pushing for the house to be in your name only as a condition of continued payment in the divorce settlement.

Otherwise she should pay her own and either keep the house or sell it and let you have your share of any equity so you can buy something of your own.

PaulBrian

I guess every break-up has it's own unique circumstances but whether I'm a mug or soft or both I suppose my constant position is that I won't see the kids suffer from financial misconduct on my part.

I totally agree though that if my ex wants a better life she has to make it happen off her own back .. I'll always pay the child maintenance as it would be wrong not to.

BTW the wife is definitely also looking for the lion's share of the equity, when and if the house is sold.