Funeral question. Can anyone help please?

belfastgirl23

Good for you for getting things sorted out and glad you got the bereavement allowance - it would be so easy to miss out on this, we nearly did too. And it's enough to make a really big difference to the person who has been bereaved, even if only to lift the worry of paying for funeral expenses etc.

Hope it all goes well from here.

sarymclary

Hello fascinated -

I'm sorry to hear about your mother's death, and hope that you are all coping.

When my husband died, unexpectedly, I also qualified for the bereavement grant, which paid the bulk of my husband's funeral costs. He also died with a lot of debt, mainly in his sole name, and I simply wrote to all those creditors and explained that having gone through all his paperwork, and checking all his bank and post office accounts, it was clear that he had died insolvent, and as such there wasn't going to be anything left in his estate to clear the outstanding debts.

The usual requirement is for them to have sight of an original copy of the death certificate, presumably for their records, and so that they can write off the debt/claim for it on their own insurance policy for unpaid debt. I didn't have any problems with any of them. It was a bit of a long winded process, so don't get disheartened when it takes several months to resolve absolutely everything. Company's tend to accept that they cannot get money out of a dead, insolvent person.

I kept a file with all copies of correspondence in it, so that it was to hand whenever a letter came through from anyone to do with my husband's estate. BTW, I was advised that probate need only be sought if an estate has a substantial sum of money to be dealt with, so not relevant to you either. If you send off a copy of the death certificate, make a note of who it went to, and when, then cross it off when it gets returned. Make sure your name and address is written on the reverse of the death certificate, and i also wrote 'return ASAP' on it. I had about 4 copies of the certificate - I only got one returned last year, more than 4 years after his death!

I don't know if it applies to you, or how old your mother was, but I found an old employment pension document several months after my husband's death, when I was chucking things out of the attic, and when I contacted them, it turned out that I was entitled to a small company pension, from an employer he'd had in his early 20's, which will be payable to me until I retire, and another small amount for each of our children, until they become adults.

Thinking of you.

There's also a whole thread of info and advice here: http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=344578

fascinated

Thanks sarymclary. That really helps. In a way it's good to hear from others who have been through the same thing. I think I have been putting off telling the creditors that the estate is insolvent because I am scared of their reactions, even though I know it is not my fault and I have no liability.

Also, my mother's husband shredded lots of the paperwork after he found out. I think he was both angry and embarrassed, but this has not helped at all. For example I know of another debt she had but I do not have any details of it now, and have to wait for the next statement to arrive before I can even notify them of the death.

My only consolation is that none of this is hurting or worrying my mother anymore. She had been dealing with all the worry on her own and had not told anyone about it.

Thanks for all your help.

Errata

Please don't be scared, you've got the winning hand. Just wait for the demands to roll in and reply to them

advising of the death
attach a copy of the deat certificate NOT the original
the deceased died intestate
you will settle their account once the funeral expenses have been paid out of the estate if there's anything left

HTH

pattycake

Hello fascinated. I just wanted to say that I know something of what you are going through. My mother died suddenly and unexpectedly six weeks ago. We were lucky in that she left a will and a healthy estate and so only have the sorrow to deal with.

My heart goes out to you and I wish you all the best.

fascinated

Thanks pattycake.

Another letter through the post today regarding the Lloyds loan which had already gone to judgement prior to my mother's death. Big long blurb about letting them have solicitor's details etc so that they can claim their money back from the estate. Of course this is not applicable in this case.

Then very small paragraph that says if there was no will and there are insufficient monies in the estate to repay this loan please give your name and address and sign the declaration attached.

Hmmm, now I know there are insufficient monies but I am reluctant to sign my name to a declaration in this way. Anyone had any experience of this?

Thanks guys.

Fasci xx

ukmaggie45

Dear fascinated, sorry to hear of your loss. It must be a worrying time for you as well as sad.

Errata wrote: »

advising of the death
attach a copy of the deat certificate NOT the original

You have to send proper copies from the Registrar's Office, photo copies won't be accepted by most companies. It's cheaper if you buy them when you go to register the death. Not sure if it's at the cheaper price if you go back to the same Registrar's Office in person rather than doing it by post. You can order additional copies online.

When my parents died in 2007 we had 4 copies for each when we went to register the death. We kept one of each ourselves, and gave the solicitor dealing with the estates the other copies.

I hope that you manage to sort everything out without too many hassles - we're still not through yet, but that's mainly down to useless solicitor named as co-executor on parents' Wills. (We have instructed a different one now who is progressing things much faster and is more on the ball)

Very best wishes,

Maggie

bookduck

Firstly my condolences,

My mum died last June and it does take months for things to go back to normal.

If you have trouble coping and putting strings together so need time off work - speak to your GP and he will probably produce a sick note or two, rather then annual leave - this is not a holiday, but working for a hospital ended and I up taking a week as holiday . Now I know better

Shop around for funeral directors. It is not pleasant, so do a few per day. A cremation ranged in price to just over £2000 plus flowers extra (average £1600-ish). With shopping around for this down to £800-ish. Also found out the Early morning slot in the crematorium are about £300 cheaper and different crematoriums charge different prices. Embalming only really needs to be done if the burial is not soon and and open coffin. If it is quick burial a coffin can still be open.

Death certificates: bank always ask for them, but tell the bank to make a copy as you want the regional back. Overseas people want an original.

Nastiest was a standard letter from the council offering their condolences and a quick reply with a free post envelope, asking if I am the person that should any possessions be found that they contact me and further down after the niceties that I assume liability for all her debts. Like I would sign liability for taking on someones debts - there were non but getting relatives in grief stricken times to personally assume and repay untold others debts, even if you are not the executor? :mad: - on the first reading I signed it and the the second time read and understood the liability clause, and got immediately ripped up. Beware there are some who will try to take advantage in your time of grief.

I dropped the keys back to the council on the required date and told that I just got it in on time and owe nothing and a week later got a piece of paper saying that I owe nothing (actually there was 1p outstanding)
Thought it was all over and got rid of the paperwork. Three months later got a letter saying my mum owes them a weeks rent as they they I brought back were not on time - someone there screwed up the dates! Keep all the paperwork!

All the best