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Our diary. should carry a warning for being possibley the most boring on here, sorry
jenni75
Posts: 514 Forumite
Hello, I will apologise now this is a rather long winded diary. I have edited it to this from a multitude of enteries and my spelling is not so good. I hope that nobody finds it too negative experince but it is just my honest account of the last ten months. I will explain further but if you fall asleep dont feel bad on my behalf, to be honest I am neither interesting nor a author!
April 08
My husband and I started a business May 1998, initially with a £20,000 bank loan. A business that would have failed long ago if we had not relied on credit to support us and the demands of a trade in serious decline along with us and our four children to support. One of our children has a serious illness which has left me at home to care and unable to work, that and the business failings left us in the position of taking a IVA. As we did not own our house it was perhaps in hindsight a foolish thing to do. However, in Feb 2008 two of our customers went bust and our supplier also went into liquidation. Left with no supply to sell and incurred debt from customers we were thrown headfirst in to bankruptcy.
Having spent many years screaming at my husband we should be bankrupt and berating him for not admitting defeat all of a sudden there we were in the position I had wanted but now I was so frightened.
So now for the important part the actual deed!
I had decided to phone the insolvency website at just after 4 pm to enquire about court dates. They told me that whilst some courts have open sessions, I should be prepared for up to a four month wait in certain areas. Major panic on as our local court was by this time closed so that was a sleepness night. In the morning though I phoned them and they were lovely. Told me to do forms on line and take them along to the court with the fee, before 12 on a day of my choice.
Once I had completed the forms, I collated all the relevant information, car logs books, accounts, customers who owed us money, bank statements etc all into two large and heavy ring binders. Whilst this took a good four days it was certainly worthwhile doing as I could check easily that everything was present and correct. So on the 2nd April (my husbands birthday) we went to the court. I was immediately sick in the toilets,and then i cried my eyes out whilst a lovely lady at the counter went through everything. We then had to sit and wait to see the judge which was about half a hour, we were then called in and asked to take a seat. He asked if we wished for him to make us bankrupt to which we said yes, he then read through the documents, and told us that he could indeed see we were insolvent and with that stamped it all. He then told us that we should co operate with the official receiver as it was now in their hands. We thanked him and went back downstairs to the lady at the counter. after handing her our stamped forms we had to wait in a small room for a telephone call. The case officer called and introduced herself and went through the basics of the forms. clarifing some points, and then I asked what I was to do with all the binders of information I had with us, she told me that I could take it immediately to their office which is across the road from the court. So we went on our way there and met with her, for which I was so glad as its always nice to put a name to a face. She could not have been more helpful and We both felt alot more relaxed having spoken with her. And so we then went home to a empty house. We felt empty to, drained from it all but the feelings were not bad just tired.
We could not have a official interview until the 22nd april so of course I could not really relax until that was done. One thing I did was to seperate all the sections of the forms and clearly marked them as to find the relevant information easily, set them out on the kitchen table ready. Promptly as arranged the official recevier rang and the interview was to last just over a hour. I know that sounds like a long time but all our questions were answered and having been self employed it was not as straight forward as some. As we had been able to claim job seekers allowance as we now have no work, that was information to be passed on as that was not in effect at the time of the br. The OR told us that our family car will be collected with in the fortnight, but they were making the van exempt. We are allowed to trade that in for a car if we don't take any finance out on it and it is valued at the same as the van.
We have received tax returns and I spoke to the tax office who told me that we have to submit this as they need a figure for the BR. Our accountant will do no more but I am on the case and getting through the forms. So I hope that is my last look at the doomed business records!
The OR gave us a direct dial number in case of any questions and told us to have no worries about ringing about anything at all to do with the BR and or anything relevant. As on benefits no ipa being put in place. (We could find no information if we would qualify for benefits till new work was found, and with four children this was a major issue to me, However the jobcentre plus were marvellous help.)
We were able to open a co op account and My dear husband has a job interview lined up. On a emotional level I thought he would explode having lost his work for the last ten years but he has taken it ok. He is looking forward and accepts that this has happened. It is quite nice to have him home a bit, (not too much though) as all the jobs that have never got done seem to be getting done, although he never completes a job around the house!.
And do you know I think I must have spoken to the nicest people ever when sorting out things now. No one has been judgemental at all.
So we have yet to go through the process of starting work, although we have been told a nil tax code will be applied. And the trauma of having my car lifted sometime in the next week or so. But if I can offer one message, the agony of being in debt, dreading every visit by the postman, and the phone ringing, is dreadful, but the agony of going bankrupt and I wont lie it aint been easy, has been no worse than the life I had post April 2nd. But now I have the knowledge things will get easier not worse.
For my Husbands next birthday Guess what he is getting?
A bankruptcy discharge and that has got to be a good thing,
July 2nd 08
Wow, a third of the way through! Well, its certainly a different life now. Having got over the actual day in court and the interview, we found ourselves in a bit of a no-mans land. Without our business we had no work, but with great thanks to the Jobcentre who were marvellous at helping us on the phone and in person we were able to put in a claim for job seekers allowance. I expected everyone to be so judgemental but I can honestly say that we have had really nice people dealing with us. The few creditors that decieded to bother us have been sorted out swiftly once we referred them to our official receivers office and they too have been very good. Despite our car only being worth under 1000 pound that was collected and crushed in front of my eyes outside my house, which I must admit made me feel a little sick. We were allowed to keep the van, no good for a family of six so we traded that in for a "very old" car. My husband has a new job, something totally different to anything we ever thought of but he is really enjoying it. Although just part time at the
moment we hope that once the training is complete we will be able to get a little more back on our feet. I have had a difficult four months as I was also nursing my grandma through brain cancer and the loss of her was so immensely painful, but it has put the bankruptcy into perspective. We have no luxuries, no excesess, and do genuinally struggle to live with four children but then looking around us so are most of our friends. As none of our friends have money for a social life either we certainly dont feel like we are missing out. I have become a wizz at finding free things to do with the kids, go to the supermarket with a calculater in hand and all the money off vouchers I can find, and the satisfaction of getting home with a bargin is amazing. Much more so than the buzz of what we used to have. The kids school have been truely so kind too. Although we were worried about uniforms, school trips out
etc they have helped us a lot. In return I go to them to offer all the help I can as I am not working at the moment. I actually did not feel the relief straight away that some people talk about, it really took a good 8 -10 weeks to get my head around being a bankrupt, But the valuable lessons it has taught and continues to teach me will stay with me. Even if we ever do get things on a level pegging I will never take for granted friends, family and our belongings. I am finding some days hard, but more and more it is getting easier. I think the main difficulties we have had have been because we had a business, if we had the continuation of a job after bankruptcy then I think things would have been easier. I wish we were not in this position for the sake of my kids but they even admit that we were broke before so its not had too much of a impact on their lives and they think that we as parents are much happier and more relaxed.
My husband has a job now which he adores and is really happy. It's very strange because we had kind of lived in a bubble with our kids, working and living together. Its as if someone took a great big pin to the bubble and left us in pieces, but we will have to just pick up the pieces and rearrange them to make life work for us. I thought that it would be him that really suffered with the loss of the business but he is fine. You just need to support each other. At the end of the day we have five and a half months left, so we are not out the woods yet, but I am already feeling better. We were like a see saw one day it was me in tears the next he was down but it will balance itself out.
Feb09
Well the end is in sight, approx seven weeks til ad. looking back over my diary has been strange, I suppose in many ways I have felt strangely removed from the whole process. As the whole period of going bankrupt was running parrell with losing my beloved Nan (more of a mum and best friend) I think that a lot of my energies was put into dealing with the loss. We had a very quiet Christmas, my OH actually had to work so I was alone at home with the children. It was nice but the most satisfing part was getting to January with no bills for it! My OH now works away at nights which I never thought I could cope with but thanks to the kids coping so well and being so enthusiastic about having parties (not a rave but movie on tv and biscuits!) when he is away I've managed. I have been exceptionally fortunate to have the most wonderful people in my life, my family which has always been a shattered mis
match of od bods! (by anyone's standards) have come together, mainly because my Nan was the centre of all of our worlds. She was the one we all gravitated to in good times and bad but we never went to each other. That has now changed and we all actually want to be family. Sadly there have been issuses with certain friends but I will rise above that. I still get the urge to go to the till in Tesco with chocolate truffles etc but instead I buy chocolate buttons. All tastes the same but costs a fraction.
I have felt left behind as my OH has a new life with his job and I have been stuck at home which being as selfish as I am I have even felt envious that he has this new life. I am angry at myself for feeling like that but its as if he has moved on and I cant. I am going to look for a job after the summer holidays, we just need to get out son through his next lot of check ups and then we hope that life will be better, even if I only earn enough for a holiday etc. My husband is soooo happy in his job, and the house is tidy! so in general the life we had is a distant memory. I think that I am glad we went bankrupt in some ways and gutted in others. All balanced I suppose that now it is better. But we should never have carried on for so long, regrets, yes we have a few, the IVA is the main one.
We returned our I &E on the 8th December with the ED forms but to date have heard nothing so I am checking everyday, post and the Insolvency website but even that little bit of anxiousness is a small reminder of how I felt pre BR so I certainly feel pleased I dont have to live like that anymore. Stupid I know as ED is not a right and they are so busy it is unlikely to be processed. But only 7 weeks or so to go.
What the future holds, who knows but I truely believe that with a postive spin on things life has got to get better, in the words of a family member "You are both in the bottom of the pit" maybe but there is only one way out and that is up!!!!
April 08
My husband and I started a business May 1998, initially with a £20,000 bank loan. A business that would have failed long ago if we had not relied on credit to support us and the demands of a trade in serious decline along with us and our four children to support. One of our children has a serious illness which has left me at home to care and unable to work, that and the business failings left us in the position of taking a IVA. As we did not own our house it was perhaps in hindsight a foolish thing to do. However, in Feb 2008 two of our customers went bust and our supplier also went into liquidation. Left with no supply to sell and incurred debt from customers we were thrown headfirst in to bankruptcy.
Having spent many years screaming at my husband we should be bankrupt and berating him for not admitting defeat all of a sudden there we were in the position I had wanted but now I was so frightened.
So now for the important part the actual deed!
I had decided to phone the insolvency website at just after 4 pm to enquire about court dates. They told me that whilst some courts have open sessions, I should be prepared for up to a four month wait in certain areas. Major panic on as our local court was by this time closed so that was a sleepness night. In the morning though I phoned them and they were lovely. Told me to do forms on line and take them along to the court with the fee, before 12 on a day of my choice.
Once I had completed the forms, I collated all the relevant information, car logs books, accounts, customers who owed us money, bank statements etc all into two large and heavy ring binders. Whilst this took a good four days it was certainly worthwhile doing as I could check easily that everything was present and correct. So on the 2nd April (my husbands birthday) we went to the court. I was immediately sick in the toilets,and then i cried my eyes out whilst a lovely lady at the counter went through everything. We then had to sit and wait to see the judge which was about half a hour, we were then called in and asked to take a seat. He asked if we wished for him to make us bankrupt to which we said yes, he then read through the documents, and told us that he could indeed see we were insolvent and with that stamped it all. He then told us that we should co operate with the official receiver as it was now in their hands. We thanked him and went back downstairs to the lady at the counter. after handing her our stamped forms we had to wait in a small room for a telephone call. The case officer called and introduced herself and went through the basics of the forms. clarifing some points, and then I asked what I was to do with all the binders of information I had with us, she told me that I could take it immediately to their office which is across the road from the court. So we went on our way there and met with her, for which I was so glad as its always nice to put a name to a face. She could not have been more helpful and We both felt alot more relaxed having spoken with her. And so we then went home to a empty house. We felt empty to, drained from it all but the feelings were not bad just tired.
We could not have a official interview until the 22nd april so of course I could not really relax until that was done. One thing I did was to seperate all the sections of the forms and clearly marked them as to find the relevant information easily, set them out on the kitchen table ready. Promptly as arranged the official recevier rang and the interview was to last just over a hour. I know that sounds like a long time but all our questions were answered and having been self employed it was not as straight forward as some. As we had been able to claim job seekers allowance as we now have no work, that was information to be passed on as that was not in effect at the time of the br. The OR told us that our family car will be collected with in the fortnight, but they were making the van exempt. We are allowed to trade that in for a car if we don't take any finance out on it and it is valued at the same as the van.
We have received tax returns and I spoke to the tax office who told me that we have to submit this as they need a figure for the BR. Our accountant will do no more but I am on the case and getting through the forms. So I hope that is my last look at the doomed business records!
The OR gave us a direct dial number in case of any questions and told us to have no worries about ringing about anything at all to do with the BR and or anything relevant. As on benefits no ipa being put in place. (We could find no information if we would qualify for benefits till new work was found, and with four children this was a major issue to me, However the jobcentre plus were marvellous help.)
We were able to open a co op account and My dear husband has a job interview lined up. On a emotional level I thought he would explode having lost his work for the last ten years but he has taken it ok. He is looking forward and accepts that this has happened. It is quite nice to have him home a bit, (not too much though) as all the jobs that have never got done seem to be getting done, although he never completes a job around the house!.
And do you know I think I must have spoken to the nicest people ever when sorting out things now. No one has been judgemental at all.
So we have yet to go through the process of starting work, although we have been told a nil tax code will be applied. And the trauma of having my car lifted sometime in the next week or so. But if I can offer one message, the agony of being in debt, dreading every visit by the postman, and the phone ringing, is dreadful, but the agony of going bankrupt and I wont lie it aint been easy, has been no worse than the life I had post April 2nd. But now I have the knowledge things will get easier not worse.
For my Husbands next birthday Guess what he is getting?
A bankruptcy discharge and that has got to be a good thing,
July 2nd 08
Wow, a third of the way through! Well, its certainly a different life now. Having got over the actual day in court and the interview, we found ourselves in a bit of a no-mans land. Without our business we had no work, but with great thanks to the Jobcentre who were marvellous at helping us on the phone and in person we were able to put in a claim for job seekers allowance. I expected everyone to be so judgemental but I can honestly say that we have had really nice people dealing with us. The few creditors that decieded to bother us have been sorted out swiftly once we referred them to our official receivers office and they too have been very good. Despite our car only being worth under 1000 pound that was collected and crushed in front of my eyes outside my house, which I must admit made me feel a little sick. We were allowed to keep the van, no good for a family of six so we traded that in for a "very old" car. My husband has a new job, something totally different to anything we ever thought of but he is really enjoying it. Although just part time at the
moment we hope that once the training is complete we will be able to get a little more back on our feet. I have had a difficult four months as I was also nursing my grandma through brain cancer and the loss of her was so immensely painful, but it has put the bankruptcy into perspective. We have no luxuries, no excesess, and do genuinally struggle to live with four children but then looking around us so are most of our friends. As none of our friends have money for a social life either we certainly dont feel like we are missing out. I have become a wizz at finding free things to do with the kids, go to the supermarket with a calculater in hand and all the money off vouchers I can find, and the satisfaction of getting home with a bargin is amazing. Much more so than the buzz of what we used to have. The kids school have been truely so kind too. Although we were worried about uniforms, school trips out
etc they have helped us a lot. In return I go to them to offer all the help I can as I am not working at the moment. I actually did not feel the relief straight away that some people talk about, it really took a good 8 -10 weeks to get my head around being a bankrupt, But the valuable lessons it has taught and continues to teach me will stay with me. Even if we ever do get things on a level pegging I will never take for granted friends, family and our belongings. I am finding some days hard, but more and more it is getting easier. I think the main difficulties we have had have been because we had a business, if we had the continuation of a job after bankruptcy then I think things would have been easier. I wish we were not in this position for the sake of my kids but they even admit that we were broke before so its not had too much of a impact on their lives and they think that we as parents are much happier and more relaxed.
My husband has a job now which he adores and is really happy. It's very strange because we had kind of lived in a bubble with our kids, working and living together. Its as if someone took a great big pin to the bubble and left us in pieces, but we will have to just pick up the pieces and rearrange them to make life work for us. I thought that it would be him that really suffered with the loss of the business but he is fine. You just need to support each other. At the end of the day we have five and a half months left, so we are not out the woods yet, but I am already feeling better. We were like a see saw one day it was me in tears the next he was down but it will balance itself out.
Feb09
Well the end is in sight, approx seven weeks til ad. looking back over my diary has been strange, I suppose in many ways I have felt strangely removed from the whole process. As the whole period of going bankrupt was running parrell with losing my beloved Nan (more of a mum and best friend) I think that a lot of my energies was put into dealing with the loss. We had a very quiet Christmas, my OH actually had to work so I was alone at home with the children. It was nice but the most satisfing part was getting to January with no bills for it! My OH now works away at nights which I never thought I could cope with but thanks to the kids coping so well and being so enthusiastic about having parties (not a rave but movie on tv and biscuits!) when he is away I've managed. I have been exceptionally fortunate to have the most wonderful people in my life, my family which has always been a shattered mis
match of od bods! (by anyone's standards) have come together, mainly because my Nan was the centre of all of our worlds. She was the one we all gravitated to in good times and bad but we never went to each other. That has now changed and we all actually want to be family. Sadly there have been issuses with certain friends but I will rise above that. I still get the urge to go to the till in Tesco with chocolate truffles etc but instead I buy chocolate buttons. All tastes the same but costs a fraction.
I have felt left behind as my OH has a new life with his job and I have been stuck at home which being as selfish as I am I have even felt envious that he has this new life. I am angry at myself for feeling like that but its as if he has moved on and I cant. I am going to look for a job after the summer holidays, we just need to get out son through his next lot of check ups and then we hope that life will be better, even if I only earn enough for a holiday etc. My husband is soooo happy in his job, and the house is tidy! so in general the life we had is a distant memory. I think that I am glad we went bankrupt in some ways and gutted in others. All balanced I suppose that now it is better. But we should never have carried on for so long, regrets, yes we have a few, the IVA is the main one.
We returned our I &E on the 8th December with the ED forms but to date have heard nothing so I am checking everyday, post and the Insolvency website but even that little bit of anxiousness is a small reminder of how I felt pre BR so I certainly feel pleased I dont have to live like that anymore. Stupid I know as ED is not a right and they are so busy it is unlikely to be processed. But only 7 weeks or so to go.
What the future holds, who knows but I truely believe that with a postive spin on things life has got to get better, in the words of a family member "You are both in the bottom of the pit" maybe but there is only one way out and that is up!!!!
0
Comments
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You must have gone BR the same time I did - mine was 4th April.
:j :j
0 -
Oh yes, We were 2nd April, I just said to my husband this feels like the last ten weeks of pregnancy, that always dragged on too.:rotfl:0
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Hi Jenni....Hello & welcome.
Thankyou so much for your post....& not boring at all !! Life is tough at the best of times without BR to make it worse!!
You will help so many people by your account....although I am in the midst of it all...I worry about so many who are still going through it alone.
Thankyou again & please stay around...there are so many who need advice from those who have had the experience.
Take care Hun,
Angexx0 -
Hi Ange
Thanks for your kind comments, I also feel really sorry for those going through this alone. I will stick around, sure I could answer some queries, but then I wouldnt want to give any wrong advice. Reading through some of the posts on here it seems that each experience is very individual. I will just try to tell my own experience in the hope it may help someone. Thanks again for the warm welcome x
Jenni0 -
Hi Jenni, i too would like to say thank you, it wasnt boring at all, just an honest and straightforward account of what has been a tough year. I hope i get to the stage of becoming a whizz with coupons and things, any way good luck for whatever happens next:beer:0
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Hi Ange
Thanks for your kind comments, I also feel really sorry for those going through this alone. I will stick around, sure I could answer some queries, but then I wouldnt want to give any wrong advice. Reading through some of the posts on here it seems that each experience is very individual. I will just try to tell my own experience in the hope it may help someone. Thanks again for the warm welcome x
Jenni
Hi Jenni
Thanks, You know what its like when the whole thing starts...the panic...the despair...the hopelessness of it all.
It means so much to new people in debt crisis just to know that others have `been there`....you will be surprised by how much you can offer....remember support is everything...even just a few kind words can make a massive difference.
For those who are `brave` enough to post for the first time...this place is a lifeline.
I`m not BR yet but time is running out ...rapidly!!
Angex0 -
Sorry to be difficult here, but I didn't think it was boring, fall asleep or notice poor spelling.Hello, I will apologise now this is a rather long winded diary. I have edited it to this from a multitude of enteries and my spelling is not so good. I hope that nobody finds it too negative experince but it is just my honest account of the last ten months. I will explain further but if you fall asleep dont feel bad on my behalf, to be honest I am neither interesting nor a author!
In fact I thought it was a very frank and well written diary. Certainly something the naysayers should read before proclaiming that we are all getting off scott free.
You engaged me with your story Jenni. I truly hope that you can find your new life by April 2nd next year. It may take that long - but it will be worth it. You have your Nan to get over on top of BR and only time can ease that pain.
Good luck Jenni.
JimBSC No 248
Free, confidential advice
National Debtline 0808 808 4000 | StepChange 0800 138 1111 | CAB - Get Advice
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Ange,
I must admit its has taken me a while whether to post or not! Cant really explain any logic to my reluctance! I would happily hold anyones hand about to go through this experience. The most important thing I have learned this year has been the value of friends. I have a feeling this is one friendship group I will feel at home with. As much as I have wanted to talk about things at times, I have not always wanted to burden my family and friends with our problems. Most of them are also experiencing difficulties too, this year in particular. Hopefully by coping in a reasonable mannor I offer a little hope to anyone in a similar situation that it is possible to come out the other side. And smile
0 -
Jim,
Goodness me, I had no idea that my story would get so many replies! Thank you so much. I will update over the next 7 weeks as we head for auto-discharge.
I will also try to learn how to use this site. Not quite got the hang of using the quotes etc, yet...
Take care Jenni x0 -
Jenni your account is just what I needed to read a few weeks before I go BR by myself. Thank you, from every angle.
Thank you.
All the best for your debt free life,
SBR 08/04/09 | ED 02/10/09
| BSC 255
I made it through!Don't ignore a problem. Unlike a bad smell, it won't eventually go away.0
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