Getting a divorce ... husband doesn't want to pay mortgage

firstlovegonesour

This will be long but I need to explain my situation...

My husband and I purchased a townhome a couple years ago. Now, due to the awful housing market, we owe more than what the house is worth. A few days ago, my husband told me that he wants a divorce. At first, I was against it, but it's what he wants, so there is nothing I can do about it.

I have no family in the state, so I was going to move out of state to be with my family after the divorce. Rather than doing a short sale or foreclose on our home (he has no money to refinance it under his name), he wants to stay in this home and get roommates ...and then once we have equity on the home, he can sell it and we split it 50/50. In his mind, this is the best thing to do .... but I believe that it would be stupid of me to allow having my name attach to the loan after the divorce. This is just asking for trouble. My husband doesn't seem to understand why I'm saying no to this. He also is against getting a lawyer to help us with the divorce. He wants to use one of those DIY divorce online sites.

Now the only option we have is foreclosure. At first he said that he is going to move out because I disagreed with his idea, but then he changed his mind and now he wants to stay in this home with me until the bank kicks us out. During our marriage, he was in charge of paying the mortgage and I paid everything else, but now he said that he will not pay the mortgage or any of the other bills -- he is just going to live here for free.

I'm not sure what to do ... please help me.

Sami_Bee

firstlovegonesour wrote: »

This will be long but I need to explain my situation...

My husband and I purchased a townhome a couple years ago. Now, due to the awful housing market, we owe more than what the house is worth. A few days ago, my husband told me that he wants a divorce. At first, I was against it, but it's what he wants, so there is nothing I can do about it.

I have no family in the state, so I was going to move out of state to be with my family after the divorce. Rather than doing a short sale or foreclose on our home (he has no money to refinance it under his name), he wants to stay in this home and get roommates ...and then once we have equity on the home, he can sell it and we split it 50/50. In his mind, this is the best thing to do .... but I believe that it would be stupid of me to allow having my name attach to the loan after the divorce. This is just asking for trouble. My husband doesn't seem to understand why I'm saying no to this. He also is against getting a lawyer to help us with the divorce. He wants to use one of those DIY divorce online sites.

Now the only option we have is foreclosure. At first he said that he is going to move out because I disagreed with his idea, but then he changed his mind and now he wants to stay in this home with me until the bank kicks us out. During our marriage, he was in charge of paying the mortgage and I paid everything else, but now he said that he will not pay the mortgage or any of the other bills -- he is just going to live here for free.

I'm not sure what to do ... please help me.

You are using American terms in your OP are you in the the uk?

Anyway assuming you are in the uk; Personally there is no way I would do a DIY divorce its a far too complex issue IMHO
Plus seeing as he sounds rather emotional and stubborn the last thing you want is to be tied to him by this house, It doesn't sound like you could trust him to pay the mortage and then you would be jointly liable for any missed payments.
If you can I'd say cut your losses and get out of there!
Plus he cannot just "live there for free" ie be a squatter as legally you cannot claim squatter's rights on a property that is in your name

Sorry I'm no good with the proper legality and money side of it but I'm sure someone more knowledgable will be along in the morning

Susan_Frost

Get a solicitor to advise you NOW. Try not to default on payments as this goes against your credit rating and you will need to borrow in the future. Can you pay half the mortgage each and live seperately in the house until it is sold. If you move out you will have to pay rent so you may as well pay to be there and keep the bank happy. If he wont pay his half then it may have to default, but he may see sense if he realises it may comprimise him buying again later.

kazwookie

Are you on the USA or UK?

Either way get to see a solicitor and take proper legal advise.

From you opening post, is it all about what you husband want, he wants a divorce, he wants to stay, he doesnt want to pay and bills etc, he doesnt want a solicitor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he seems to be calling the shots, so to speak

It all seems in his favour, what do you want?? Stand up to him and get advise.

If he doesn't pay the mortage and bills, it is likely the house will get repossed / and gas etc cut off, does the mortage allow for lodgers / roommates?

I believe with the current ecominic climate it might be some time before you see an equity in your house, and repo may came first, if the mortage has not been paid.

homeaway

I think you need to get legal advise for this. If the house is in joint names then you are both liable for the mortgage payments. I dont know what to advise , but what would happen if you auctioned the house? Would this be a good way to get better value? i dont know but it might be worth talking to somebody about this. It is just an idea. You dont say if you have kids but if you do your husband would have to pay some maintenance for them. It is well worth getting legal advise even if you have to pay for it as then you will know where you stand and you will be able to make some informed decisions . I know a friend of mine split her house into to appartments and she had one and her ex the other. Good luck at this difficult time.

Triggles

Just because he doesn't want a solicitor, that doesn't mean YOU have to go without one! Go speak to a solicitor, so you know where you stand.

firstlovegonesour

Thanks for the advice.

I'm in the Minnesota, USA. I really would like to get legal advice but the problem is I don't have money to pay for a lawyer. Any advice as to where I might be able to get legal advice without having to pay a lot of money?

Originally, I wanted to sit down with my husband and figure out who gets to keep what and who'll take responsibility of our assets and debts. But each time I try to talk to him, he refuses to listen to my side because he thinks that his idea is the logical one (of course he would think this because he benefits from it while I'm risking myself). Also, I want to mention that he has anger problem and depression and has been on medication for years now, so I'm afraid to make him too upset in case he does something to me (he has never physically abused me before but during this difficult time, I can't help but worry for my safety).

As for the mortgage, I can't pay half of it and pay for everything as well. If he is not going to pay then the only option is to foreclose our home. I don't want to ruin my credit, but I think it's going to be ruined no matter what. Back to my question before, what can I do if he insist on living here and not paying anything? Since he is part owner, I don't think I can legally kick him out. Also, I can't exactly stop paying for the utilities since we do need heat, electric etc...

Again, I want to see a lawyer but I can't afford to hire one. What should I do?

alwaysonthego_2

firstlovegonesour wrote: »

Thanks for the advice.

I'm in the Minnesota, USA. I really would like to get legal advice but the problem is I don't have money to pay for a lawyer. Any advice as to where I might be able to get legal advice without having to pay a lot of money

Hi, you need to see someone in the USA or use a USA forum because this is a UK forum and our laws differ from yours. Good luck!

Sami_Bee

firstlovegonesour wrote: »

Thanks for the advice.

I'm in the Minnesota, USA. I really would like to get legal advice but the problem is I don't have money to pay for a lawyer. Any advice as to where I might be able to get legal advice without having to pay a lot of money?

Originally, I wanted to sit down with my husband and figure out who gets to keep what and who'll take responsibility of our assets and debts. But each time I try to talk to him, he refuses to listen to my side because he thinks that his idea is the logical one (of course he would think this because he benefits from it while I'm risking myself). Also, I want to mention that he has anger problem and depression and has been on medication for years now, so I'm afraid to make him too upset in case he does something to me (he has never physically abused me before but during this difficult time, I can't help but worry for my safety).

As for the mortgage, I can't pay half of it and pay for everything as well. If he is not going to pay then the only option is to foreclose our home. I don't want to ruin my credit, but I think it's going to be ruined no matter what. Back to my question before, what can I do if he insist on living here and not paying anything? Since he is part owner, I don't think I can legally kick him out. Also, I can't exactly stop paying for the utilities since we do need heat, electric etc...

Again, I want to see a lawyer but I can't afford to hire one. What should I do?

99% of the members here are in the uk so we're not up on the US laws but over here there is legal aid which i believe also exists over there see if you can find any info from them.
in the UK we also have an organisation called Citizens Advice bureau that help with all sorts of things including these type of situations maybe there is something similar near you.
Some lawyers will do a free over the phone consultation with you so contact some local law firms and see if they can help

scotti

this may be a starting point for you. Good luck

http://www.lawhelpmn.org/MN/StateChannelResults.cfm/County/%20/City/%20/demoMode/%3D%201/Language/1/State/MN/TextOnly/N/ZipCode/%20/LoggedIn/0/iSubTopicID/1/iProblemCodeID/1320500/sTopicImage/familyjuvenile.gif/iTopicID/264/ichannelid/3/bAllState/0

cheers,scotti

firstlovegonesour

Sorry, I didn't know this forum is geared towards people in UK. Thanks for the link Scotti!