How did you cope & for how long?

geekgirl

Freecycle all the way, don't buy lots of first size baby stuff as you will probably get lots bought for you as pressies. Charity shops and go to NCT sales. It is all out there for cheap. Breastfeed and use reusable nappies.

They are only small for such a short time. My 'babies' are all adults now and I am enjoying grandchildren, I am so pleased that I could be a SAHM and love and enjoy being with them.
This was at a cost to us, we didn't buy new stuff we rarely went on holiday and we had old banger cars but was definitely the right way for me.
The old saying of 'don't blink cos you will miss it' is so true, the years fly by. Money cannot buy those few precious early years.

Casper81

nadnad wrote: »

i don't think it sucks at all. Each person makes the decision to become pregnant and knows (or should know) what money will be coming in at that time. I think maternity benefits are ample, and whilst it is great if your employer has added benefits such as full pay - they are under no obligation to do this, it costs businesses (esp small businesses) a lot of money when someone goes on maternity leave.

I planned ahead for my pregnancy and we made sure we had enough in savings to cover everything, and as such I'm now off since last March and have had enough to give myself about 90% of my previous wage each month until April. I understand I'm very lucky.

OP, you really should have checked the policy before you got pregnant! Most employers dont give any more than they have to. I know it must be extra hard for you as you're the main earner. How far along in your pregnancy are you? Can you knuckle down and really save? Is there any overtime you or OH can do? Could OH get a second job? Can you work right up to you due date and then take paid holidays as part of your time off?

You arent being awful wanting as much time off as possible - its natural and its a wonderful thing to be able to spend time with your baby.

I am not pregnant yet. I was diagnosed as going through early menopause and egg donation is my only chance. The hospital have found someone and want to start treatment in April. As this is my only chance of a child (excluding adoption) and the egg donation waiting list is so long I dont want to miss out on my opportunity.
I started looking into the costings this week and got really frightened about how to cope etc.
I will do all i can to save but still dont think i could save the equivalent to my wages.

Thank you all for your advice, it has given me much more confidence. Good luck to all of you in the same boat - I have no doubt that I will speak to you again on here

Nicki

Casper81 wrote: »

I am not pregnant yet. I was diagnosed as going through early menopause and egg donation is my only chance. The hospital have found someone and want to start treatment in April. As this is my only chance of a child (excluding adoption) and the egg donation waiting list is so long I dont want to miss out on my opportunity.

Good luck!!

Will keep fx for you that all goes swimmingly. Try not to stress over the costs. With extra time to prepare for the birth, you will find ways to cope, even if this is, as others have suggested, that your OH needs to do some overtime or an extra job, so that you can put some savings aside. You might also be able to negotiate a mortgage break or a period of reduced payments to make life a bit easier for a few months.

Have you done all the stuff that the main site suggests to make sure you are not paying over the odds for things like utilities, insurance, etc? Maybe even go over to debt-free board and old style for some ideas as to how to cut down on outgoings. If you can reduce your expenditure now, you can save a bit for the birth, and also will be more used to living at a lesser cost by the time baby comes along so it won't be such a shock.

At the end of the day, if this is your chance, you should take it now, and you should do all you can to be able to spend as much time as you can with the baby after the birth, even if things are tight, as you won't get this time back again.

pamelab21

we are in a similar situation although I am not the main earner but only 1.5k off hubbys salary myself. I am trying to save as much as possible now off my salary, going without little things just now so that I can try and take off 12 months when baby comes.
I know I cannot make it up to my salary but as long as the essentials are paid for I want to spend as much time at home as possible as I will have to come back to work practically full time as will have to use nurseries which are expensive.
I too get 90% for first 6 weeks and then go on to SMP. I have looked at entitledto and it looks like we might get 10.00 a week on tax credits but thats it.

Good luck, I am sure you will manage and it will all be worth it!

honeypop

nadnad wrote: »

Each person makes the decision to become pregnant and knows (or should know) what money will be coming in at that time.

Yes you are right, however what about when a situation like mine occurs, as I described above: We made the decision to try for a baby when I was in a well paid, stable job and could more than cover costs of being off on maternity leave - ideal situation according to what you said - then when 9 weeks pregnant, the company decides to shut down without warning, no financial troubles really so didn't see it coming at all, and I had to take a lower paid job just to stay in employment, which means we can no longer afford the time off as now we can literally just cover outgoings until I have to take time off after the birth. There was no way we could have foreseen that, so just out of interest what do you suggest should have happened?

geekgirl

Casper81 wrote: »

I am not pregnant yet. I was diagnosed as going through early menopause and egg donation is my only chance. The hospital have found someone and want to start treatment in April. As this is my only chance of a child (excluding adoption) and the egg donation waiting list is so long I dont want to miss out on my opportunity.
I started looking into the costings this week and got really frightened about how to cope etc.
I will do all i can to save but still dont think i could save the equivalent to my wages.

Thank you all for your advice, it has given me much more confidence. Good luck to all of you in the same boat - I have no doubt that I will speak to you again on here

Good luck to you. Hope all goes well and enjoy having your little one when it comes. You will get some really good advice here.
X

Casper81

Thanks again people x

nadnad

Casper81 wrote: »

I am not pregnant yet. I was diagnosed as going through early menopause and egg donation is my only chance. The hospital have found someone and want to start treatment in April. As this is my only chance of a child (excluding adoption) and the egg donation waiting list is so long I dont want to miss out on my opportunity.
I started looking into the costings this week and got really frightened about how to cope etc.
I will do all i can to save but still dont think i could save the equivalent to my wages.

Thank you all for your advice, it has given me much more confidence. Good luck to all of you in the same boat - I have no doubt that I will speak to you again on here

fingers crossed all goes well for you! Now that you know where you're at if you started planning in advance financially wise you should be able to get yourself sorted. I don't think you need the equivalent of your wages but work out what you do need and focus on that. Also i don't think you spend as much when you're not working. Just remember WHEN that baby comes along its the most important and wonderful thing in the world, and if you put a bit of effort and planning in moneywise things will come together and you'll cope with whatever you can afford to save - simply because you have to. Good Luck.

nadnad

honeypop wrote: »

Yes you are right, however what about when a situation like mine occurs, as I described above: We made the decision to try for a baby when I was in a well paid, stable job and could more than cover costs of being off on maternity leave - ideal situation according to what you said - then when 9 weeks pregnant, the company decides to shut down without warning, no financial troubles really so didn't see it coming at all, and I had to take a lower paid job just to stay in employment, which means we can no longer afford the time off as now we can literally just cover outgoings until I have to take time off after the birth. There was no way we could have foreseen that, so just out of interest what do you suggest should have happened?

well basically you can't plan on being made redundant (i know how you feel i was made redundant in september and OH in October!!). But you still have the guts of 7 months when this happened to make plans and get organised, and it can be done - with some trimming off the excesses here and there and really thinking about what you spend you can cut back - i dont know your situation or money matters specifically but most people can cut back a bit and 7 months is a good amount of time to either look for more work (either you or OH) and do overtime etc. Also did you get any redundancy money at all?

Your situation is a difficult one and what my post was basically trying to say was you plan as best you can for a baby, there is no perfect time just the right time IYSWIM, and even when you think you have everything just the way you want it unexpected situations happen such as redundancy. I hope you didnt take anything i said in the wrong way. And I hope everything goes well for you.

maggie21

We're in the same boat, affording a child isn't the problem, it's having 9 months off work at £117.18 a week thats the problem.

I don't mind cutting back, I don't mind saving, but there is only so much you can do. We have a modest sized house, but need the best part of two wages to pay all the household bills, and we do not have anything extravagant.

I wrote to my local councilor about SMP. I suggested a fairer system by making the payment means tested, as one payment doesn't suit everyone. I have just received the reply, unbelievably, completely ignoring my point! So, not one to give up, I'm drafting another one. Maybe if we all get onto their case, they will reconsider it?