Family Troubles!!!

val_84

First off sorry for the rant but I had to get this off my chest.

My mum has 5 brothers and sisters and about 3 and a half years ago her sister stopped speaking to her and in turn so has the rest of the family. It got to the point where my grandparents wouldnt even stop by for birthdays and would post cards when they knew we were out.

I still made the effort and contacted my grandparents but as far as I was concerned couldnt care less about the rest of them as they are being petty. I always make the effort with my grandparents and stopped by to see them the other day for the first time in about 3 and a half years (its difficult for me to get there as I moved a fair distance away and cant drive yet)

I called them today and my Nanna has said they wont be staying for the evening reception because "there wont be any family there" even though my parents will be there and my brother and sister. Am I wrong to be a bit annoyed by all this? i know its my day but I just think tryng to make me feel guilty for not inviting people who couldnt care less and then to not even class us all as family?

Sorry again for the rant but needed to get it off my chest!!!

Neeny82

I understand what you mean! At the end of the day though she is trying to guilt trip you into inviting people who you don't want there! I say stand your ground and just say "well if that's what you want then I'm disappointed but I wont let it spoil my day" She'll prob end up back-tracking and if she doesn't then just lave her with it! I wouldn't worry too much about it as you will end up getting stressed and you'll have enough to think about! x x x

TediousPhoenix

You're not ranting, just getting things off your chest.

Remember, this is your day and don't let people spoil it, whatever their intentions or motives. Try to rise above petty and stupid behaviour. And most importantly, have a great day!

We haven't set a date yet but we know there will be family issues with the wedding. The main one being that there will be absolutely no family from my side.

*Louise*

Well, you have invited her, there WILL be family there for her, you shouldn't allow yourself to be guilt tripped into inviting anyone (especially if it would make your mum uncomfortable, she is more important)

If your Nan doesn't want to stay for the evening do, then in the end it will be her loss. At least she will be at the wedding to see the important part.

val_84

Tell me about it!!!! I was kind of hoping they wouldnt go to be honest and I feel awful for thinking it. Ive already had the guilt trip that as its their 70th birthdays this year they would have been going away. i love them both but its like nothing we do is good enough. i just dont think they like that we dont need them as much as the others do.

At the moment for the day my side is going to have 13 and my OH has 27 :rolleyes: Not good. I also have a girl going from his side who just before christmas thought it was funny to text him about being naked in bed and did he want to come join her, needless to say I am not impressed. going to be a fun day. lol

Anyway, I couldnt care less as long my mum, dad, brother and his fiancee, my sister and my closest friends. The best family is those you pick yourself!

Minxy_Bella

val_84 wrote: »

Tell me about it!!!! I was kind of hoping they wouldnt go to be honest and I feel awful for thinking it. Ive already had the guilt trip that as its their 70th birthdays this year they would have been going away. i love them both but its like nothing we do is good enough. i just dont think they like that we dont need them as much as the others do.

At the moment for the day my side is going to have 13 and my OH has 27 :rolleyes: Not good. I also have a girl going from his side who just before christmas thought it was funny to text him about being naked in bed and did he want to come join her, needless to say I am not impressed. going to be a fun day. lol

Anyway, I couldnt care less as long my mum, dad, brother and his fiancee, my sister and my closest friends. The best family is those you pick yourself!

SHE would SO not be invited to my wedding - the trollop!!!!!:eek: :mad:

Hope you get it all sorted with your nan, hun! Families!! :rolleyes:

val_84

Minxy_Bella wrote: »

SHE would SO not be invited to my wedding - the trollop!!!!!:eek: :mad:

Hope you get it all sorted with your nan, hun! Families!! :rolleyes:

Thanks! At the end of the day if she wants to guilt trip me on what is supposed to be the happiest day of my life thats her problem. I will be too busy to worry about that.

Oh and reference the other girl tell me about it! We nearly split up over it, was a nightmare coz we had just bought our own house and everything. I pulled her up about it in an email and said it was unacceptable, she hasnt said a word to me since, Wouldnt mind but she is getting married her self in July. Weird.

mitchec1

Val,

Families don't you just love them. My brothers aren't coming to my wedding due to a fallout they had with my Dad 3 years ago. One said no straight away ,the other one said yes he was coming then 4 weeks ago turned round and said no.

I found out through my mum who my brothers are still speaking to, and then got a voice message off my sister in law about half hour after I'd found out.

I'm not going to let it spoil mine or my missus day (this Friday) but it's proved my friends are closer and more important than certain members of my family.

val_84

mitchec1 wrote: »

Val,

Families don't you just love them. My brothers aren't coming to my wedding due to a fallout they had with my Dad 3 years ago. One said no straight away ,the other one said yes he was coming then 4 weeks ago turned round and said no.

I found out through my mum who my brothers are still speaking to, and then got a voice message off my sister in law about half hour after I'd found out.

I'm not going to let it spoil mine or my missus day (this Friday) but it's proved my friends are closer and more important than certain members of my family.

I couldnt agree more! I feel much better now that i got it off my chest, ill just have to try not think about it coz it will just wind me up. Cant really speak to OH about it coz he is so close to his family so he doesnt really understand as much as he trys to.

Neeny82

See I have had to tell my family that I am not inviting a cousin of mine due to his arrogant nature and fact that he all but ruined his own sisters wedding through his selfishness! I was worried about saying I didn't want him and his family there but to my surprise everyone (even his mum and dad) agreed with me! Not sure whether he knows yet but I'm not bothered if I upset him to be honest!

The thing is though - my family are the ok ones (apart from above mentioned idiot) however OH's on the other hand - although lovely are quite interferring and insist on telling me that so and so "most definately need to be invited" - I just smile politely and will invite the people who me and OH want to be there! We have lot of very close friends and I would much rather they share our special day rather than auntie whatsername and uncle no*head just because they are "FAMILY"!

*Louise*

val_84 wrote: »

Oh and reference the other girl tell me about it! We nearly split up over it, was a nightmare coz we had just bought our own house and everything. I pulled her up about it in an email and said it was unacceptable, she hasnt said a word to me since, Wouldnt mind but she is getting married her self in July. Weird.

OMG, and she is still invited???

You must be very forgiving. :eek: