OH god please help..BR questions and fears

rainbowstar

Hi ladymisswolfe, I just read your posts... I know it's easier for others to say but please don't feel despair at all this. There are totally worse things that can happen in life. I have thousands of pounds worth of debts and sometimes I feel it all gets on top of me but I try to stand back & look at it objectively and focus on the day i'll be debt free and have a clean slate. Maybe this can lead to a clean slate or a fresh start for you and your husband? Re the car - would you not be able to get a doctor to verify your need for it? maybe they could write a letter for you? Whatever happens, you will get through it and all of us on here will help you
Best wishes x

ladymisswolfe

That's a good idea - thanks Rainbow and thanks for your kind words..:o

MercMan

It really annoys me that they use Parkers Guide for prices. The prices they produce are way out compared to real world prices ( I work in the motor trade so I know). Just checked my car, valued today by our salesman at £1500 private sale Parkers say its over £3K. Ridiculous. Car prices have gone through the floor but Parkers are not reflecting this. Grrrrrr... If they use Parkers then I can kiss goodbye to my car! Even though at auction they won't get anyting close to Parkers fictional price!!!

startagain_2

rainbowstar wrote: »

Hi ladymisswolfe, I just read your posts... I know it's easier for others to say but please don't feel despair at all this. There are totally worse things that can happen in life. I have thousands of pounds worth of debts and sometimes I feel it all gets on top of me but I try to stand back & look at it objectively and focus on the day i'll be debt free and have a clean slate. Maybe this can lead to a clean slate or a fresh start for you and your husband? Re the car - would you not be able to get a doctor to verify your need for it? maybe they could write a letter for you? Whatever happens, you will get through it and all of us on here will help you
Best wishes x

Hello and welcome to the board lmf,

Being in debt for a long time and just fighting to keep your head above water leads many of us to depression and on occasion dark thoughts. I was, and still am, now and again prone to being very low even now I am BR. I think this is because the OR interview is still to come and I feel like I am in limbo. BUT, I am in a much better place than I was three months ago before I found this board and the CCCS.
I have been able to looke forwards and not backwards all the time, cut my working hours, think about hobbies and spare time - something I have not done for years and basically put ME first, and not creditors.
You can post whatever you like on here, questions, statements, rants and ramblings - there is always someone to help and support, without fail. Speaking as someone who is on their own in all of this, it has been a lifesaver.
Is your GP friendly and supportive? I think they could be a real ally to you in being able to keep your car.
Enough from me, Very Best Wishes and Good Luck.....

SA

ladymisswolfe

Thank you Startagain, I think they might help yes. I'm seeing her anyway next week so I'll see if I can get a letter done just in case.
What's facing me now is the whole very complicated timing of it all. Getting the money together and switiching back accounts. Mega complicated.
Thanks for all your support all. I'll keep you all posted, as hopefully it will help anyone else asi go through it, like many of you have done.

notfes53

Hi Ladymiss,

You seem to have already got the advice you need from CCCS.

Can I just clarify if it is both of you going BR, or just one of you?

It might help if you would post a Statement of Affairs - see http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html and choose the MSE format to post a copy back here.

Who does the car belong to? (only relevant if it's just one of you going BR).

Best Wishes

notfes53

p.s. I went BR myself on 5th January 2009. Only me, not my wife. Luckily the car is her's.

Jubbly1868

Hi Ladymisswolfe,

As you will see there are some lovely supportive people on this forum. Im in same situation as you, medically, although I know no two cases are the same.
We went to CAB and luckily found very good advisor. We were advised to go bankrupt and give up our house (to move to rented) as we dont have any capital to pay off our creditors.
I have been on a rollercoaster of emotions as you can imagine. If you have access to a mental health expert (CPN, psychiatrist etc), let them know what is going on. We have 5 dogs and the places that landlords will agree for us to rent are complete dives. At the moment, Im going through the stage of wanting to go to sleep tonight and not wake up tomorrow. I went straight back to psychiatrist and CAB have suggested that they may be able to make a case to keep the car; or for higher rental costs etc based on my mental health - it never hurts to have a letter from your GP or if you are lucky enough to have psych etc...
Believe me, I know how you feel and can only say take each day as it comes. As you know with our illness, it is so very difficult to view anything objectively and at the moment, Im crying all the time and telling my poor OH that I love my home and dont want to leave. A week or two ago, I was all for moving out and was the one convincing him!!!
Please feel free to send me personal message if it would help to compare notes with a fellow sufferer. And please try to keep communicating on this forum. I really wouldnt have got through some of my dark days without the words of the kind people on here.
We havent even gone Br yet and if I think about it too much, I just have a panic attack so if it helps you, keep a thought diary, get those worries on paper, keep a 'to-do' list etc etc, whatever works for you but share your worries...
Sorry I havent been much help on the actual financial side but please feel free to rant, rave or blub (!). I can only say, make sure your GP etc is aware of what you are going through. As CAB advisor said, we can include documents/recommendations from them re car etc... It might not work but try. Good luck and best wishes - really hope things work out for you. Im over in NI so dont know if Life-line anygood to you - they are apparently very good support network on the phone and Aware group have been supportive.
Im here to share if you need... Lisa x

haleygrey

ladymisswolfe wrote: »

Thank you Startagain, I think they might help yes. I'm seeing her anyway next week so I'll see if I can get a letter done just in case.
What's facing me now is the whole very complicated timing of it all. Getting the money together and switiching back accounts. Mega complicated.
Thanks for all your support all. I'll keep you all posted, as hopefully it will help anyone else asi go through it, like many of you have done.

Hi Lmf, Ive started the BR process myself, and am also suffering from depression, probably not as seriously as you but enough to have times when all i want to do is sleep forever. Just before christmas I was really low and in such a state that it wasnt just affecting me it was affecting my job and my children. Since making the tough decision to go BR, im feeling much more positive, although have the occasional day when i feel guilty about not paying anything back. The change in my attitude has had a good effect on my children and my ability to concentrate on my job properly. The easiest way to get the fees is to stop paying any of your debts.

Good luck